Nine Nights
by mudstalker
Summary: What would Christmas on Atlantis be without Athosian parties? And what happens when John's roped into playing a key part?
1. Prologue

Author's Note: I do not own any of Stargate Atlantis or said characters. I just enjoy playing with them. This story is going to be composed of nine core chapters (I'll have an intro as a chapter and maybe an epilogue) and hopefully will be finished before Christmas. It's set mid-to-late season three (before Sunday though). It's been in my head for three long years, and so I'm finally going for it! Hope you all enjoy.

Chapter 1: The Celebration of Nine Nights

When Teyla had that look in her eye, it always meant trouble. John knew it meant trouble, and usually when she had that look he tried to stay far, far away. But the base was on stand down for a couple of weeks in order to celebrate the Christmas season, and with all the down time, it was almost impossible for the team to avoid seeing one another.

Truly, Christmas on Atlantis was a spectacular sight! Rodney's team of scientists had gotten together (without him knowing it, of course) and had rigged what had to be thousands of strands of Christmas lights up through the tower. An away team of Marines had brought back a twenty foot pine-like tree and had managed to brace it majestically in the gate room. Some of the Christians on base had set up a nativity scene in the commissary, and Weir herself had hung about two hundred (albeit fairly small) stockings on clips around the control room. With so many people helping to decorate, Atlantis was turned overnight into a winter fairy land!

That's probably how the entire thing started; John had to explain Christmas to Teyla and Ronon. Atlantis had no time the last two years to celebrate the season, so this year Christmas was new for the Pegasus galaxy. John went into great descriptions of previous Christmases on Earth. From time to time, Rodney would butt in with comments of his own about different Christmas traditions, and when they were both done enlightening the natives of the Pegasus galaxy, Ronon and Teyla looked even more confused. John, therefore, brilliantly thought he'd solved the problem by asking Teyla and Ronon to share in _his_ traditions.

The next day, Teyla had gone to the mainland to spend a day with her people, and when she returned, she had a mischievous glow about her. John immediately felt wary, though he didn't know why, and he tried to avoid her. But Teyla sought him out and eventually cornered John in the mess hall, as he was eating lunch with Weir (well, he was eating. Elizabeth was just nursing a coffee.).

"John, Elizabeth," said Teyla with a pleased grin. "I have some good news for you! I don't know where to begin, however..."

Elizabeth smiled and motioned for Teyla to sit. Teyla joined them at their table, and organized her thoughts; the mischievous smile creeping back into her eyes. "Among my people," Teyla began after a moment, "there is a winter celebration as well. It is the celebration of our successfully hiding from the Wraith; it is held for nine nights, according to the formula for hiding from the Wraith."

"There is a formula for hiding from the Wraith?" asked Elizabeth curiously.

Teyla nodded. "Normally, a people is to hide for nine days and nights; two nights before the Wraith arrive, three nights while the Wraith walk the planet, and four nights to make sure they are gone. During the Celebration of Nine Nights, great feasts are held and gifts are given to children. But best of all is the yearly story-telling. The most worthy and honorable person of my people is chosen to tell a continuing story of their choosing, their creation. Every night, they make up another part to the story and tell it. This symbolizes one of the oldest Athosians, a man who was so old he could do nothing to help with the hiding except keep everyone's spirits high by telling stories."

"Interesting," said John, his suspicion increasing. _Something _was up.

"Well," Teyla said with a smile. "Since Major Shepherd was so willing to include Ronon and I in his Christmas celebrations, I determined that he should have a part in mine as well. Halling and I have agreed that, with your permission Elizabeth, John will be our next storyteller!"

A smile broke out on Elizabeth's face as she observed the moment of panic on John's. "I think that is an excellent idea, Teyla," Elizabeth stated. "Not only would it improve our relationship with the main land, but it would be an excellent way to share culture!"

Teyla nodded enthusiastically. "Everyone who wants to come to the celebration is welcome, of course, and it is only held in the evenings, so the day is free for us to continue our work."

"Sounds wonderful!" exclaimed Elizabeth. "What do you think, John?"

John shrugged noncommittally. Suddenly, Weir's com-link beeped. "Dr. Weir, can I see you sometime this century?" a very put-out Rodney voice asked.

John looked at Elizabeth curiously as she cut Rodney off with a short reply. Elizabeth stood and gave a long sigh. "He thinks he's found another Ancient power device. He wants me to come and help him with translation."

John nodded and couldn't help notice how extremely weary Weir looked. They _had_ been running ragged lately, but the past few days had been very relaxing, and with the base on stand down, surely she would get more time to rest. John decided not to comment and instead wished her a wry "have fun!"

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and started off towards Rodney's lab. John watched her go and chocked down the strange feeling that rose inside him. Ever since the replicator incident, John had had a feeling every time he was gone from Elizabeth. It was an unsettled, worried feeling, and he was not comfortable with it. He shrugged it off and turned back to Teyla and her story-telling offer.

"Why me?" he asked Teyla quietly. "Halling doesn't even like us, and I'm not really a good storyteller; I just take movies and retell them!"

Teyla smiled. "John, to the Athosian children you are the equivalent of... as Rodney would say, Batman. You are a hero to them! Besides, they love your stories. And the celebration is as much for the children as it is for the adults."

John frowned. "But I'll just mess everything up," he scowled. "All I can really do at my best is take events from real life and put them into a fairy-tale setting."

Teyla's grin grew broader. "In my experience, it is the stories that are true that make the best basis for tales. I'm sure you can come up with something to tell them; after three years in Atlantis, you'd better have some tales to tell!"

oOo

Elizabeth was on her third set of counting to ten, and it had only been ten minutes in Rodney's lab. The man was brilliant, Elizabeth had to give him that, but he was as annoying as a hornet's nest. He even buzzed like one; his scientific mumbo jumbo sounding like an endless droning. Normally, she would have been able to understand a little bit more, but she was so tired lately she could hardly focus. Not only that, but she had had a small run-in with a drenching rainstorm off-world a couple of weeks ago, and ever since then she hadn't felt quite right. She hadn't gotten a head cold or anything like that, but her lungs had felt like they turned into iron and were staying that way. She hadn't been able to take a deep breath since... well, she couldn't remember when.

She helped Rodney translate as much as she could, and when he had finally suggested they take a break she was only too happy to comply. But then her com went off again, and with a sigh, Elizabeth headed to the control room to put out the next fire. How she would have loved to get some rest!

oOo

Sheppard and Ronon circled each other, eyeing for the opportunity to place a hit. Sparring helped John clear his mind, and Ronon was always willing to oblige. After the third hit in less than five minutes, though, Ronon had had enough.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked John. "Usually, you aren't this bad."

John scowled. "I have a lot on my mind," he stated.

"Like what?"

"Teyla wants me to be the head story-teller in her winter celebration thing. I'm not sure I want to do it, "John explained.

"Why not?" asked Ronon back.

"Well, I'm not sure I can come up with stories for each night. Besides, this is a big honor, according to Teyla. If I mess it up, then what?"

"What if you don't accept? It'd be throwing the honor back in their faces," Ronon stated.

John stopped short, suddenly understanding that there was no way out; he _had_ to do this. Ronon grinned and flung out his pole, giving John a sound smack in the chest. John looked up at him, surprise mixing with chagrin, and gave Ronon a weak smile. "Thanks buddy," he stated sarcastically.

"No problem," Ronon replied.


	2. The First Night

**Author's Note: **First update came quick! They won't be all this quick, but I hope they will come at a decent pace. You'll also notice there is shameless ripping off from other movies, TV shows, and novels. Remember, this is Sheppard telling a story. The king of the hockey mask fiasco. So if it seems a little goofy, remember the real story is what is going on in Atlantis. Thanks for the reviews!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Stargate Atlantis, or It, or Lord of the Rings, or King Arthur. I especially don't own Batman, though that would be awesome.

**The First Night**

"I don't see why we have to come along," griped Rodney unhappily as the many residents of Atlantis trudged through the underbrush of the mainland a few evenings later. "I mean, after all, it's not like John's story's going to be a big deal. It'll probably be just one slasher movie after another, and anyway it's going to be a boring night."

"You didn't have to come," grunted Ronon in annoyance.

"Yes, he did," corrected Teyla. "It's imperative that you be there to support your friend. It's how these things are done."

Rodney rolled his eyes skyward. "Sheppard needs my support like I need the help of a calculator," he grumbled. "Honestly, Teyla, you have no idea how bad this night is going to be."

"You're just jealous because Sheppard is the guest of honor, not you," Ronon commented gruffly.

Before Rodney could reply, Teyla stepped in with a fierceness that was quite unusual for her. "You are both guests of honor to my people," she stated. "Please, do not make me regret inviting you." That shut the both of them up for a while, and Teyla continued to lead the procession in a contented silence.

The Lanteans arrived in Teyla's village half an hour later, and were welcomed with bowls of hot stew. The mainland was around the equator of the planet, and so it never truly snowed, though the temperature of the planet was much colder and damper than Earth. John had arrived with Elizabeth a little earlier so that he could prepare for his "telling" that evening (the storyteller was to dress in traditional garb), and Elizabeth kept glancing across the clearing at Teyla, her eyes shining with merriment.

"How does he look?" asked Teyla, slightly concerned.

"Terrified," Elizabeth replied, "but also excited. I know John's been planning an interesting story; he told me he'd put all of us in it!"

Teyla grinned happily. "Oh, to be immortalized by a story in my own time," she said with a laugh. Then, her eyes still mischievous, she glanced conspirationally at Elizabeth. "Do you think there will be clowns in this story?" she asked.

Elizabeth grinned. "Undoubtedly," she affirmed.

oOo

When the sky grew dark, Teyla's people lit torches and formed one huge procession. Everyone was carrying blankets to sit on, and several families were carrying baskets loaded with food and treats to be served after the first night's telling. The first night was always the most fun; it had an air of celebration to it that was surpassed only by the last night. Teyla had always considered this strange; after all, when her people hid from the Wraith wouldn't they be afraid? Why then was the first night so joyful?

Halling saw Teyla's face just then and gave a short laugh. "Just like when you were young," he stated.

"What?" Teyla asked in reply.

"You... always trying to see the other side of things. Thinking that we should be somber instead of joyful. Teyla, the reason that we rejoice the first night is that we are happy we have the _ability_ to hide. We always had people with the gift, like you! This celebration is as much of an honor to you as it is to honor the memories of our ancestors who hid so well before us."

Teyla smiled at Halling, her eyes showing her gratitude. It had been so long since she had shared a celebration with her people, she had forgotten how good it felt.

Pretty much all of Atlantis had turned out for the first night of telling, and when everyone squeezed into the small cavern where the Athosians had hidden from the Wraith time and time again, there was little to no space to move. Teyla, Weir, McKay, Ronon, Carson, Halling, and a few select Athosian elders were spared such distresses; they sat on a small shelf above the cave floor, otherwise known as the place of honor. Everyone else sprawled out on the cavern's floor, packed tight like ants in a hole. A small raised platform stood at the center of the cavern, and when the people were comfortable they hushed expectantly. Halling stood.

"My people," he began, "let us give thanks for this cave that has sheltered so many over the times. Let us have silence now in remembrance of those who have gone before us; those that made it not to this relative safety."

The people were silent. After a moment, Halling started again. "Let us remember the first time we hid from the wraith. Those with the gift warned us. Those with plenty shared their stores while we hid here below. And last, the one man who had nothing to share kept up everyone's spirits with stories of his own. Nine nights we hid, and each night he told a story, constantly moving towards hope in his tales like we did in our lives. Let us remember him with honor, and make way for a new teller-of-tales, John Shepphard."

The Lanteans started to clap, but were gently shushed by the Athosians. It fell completely silent in the cave, and any remaining torch lights were extinguished. It was pitch black. Then, the torches on each of the four corners of the raised platform were lit, illuminating a wild-looking figure.

Even though Elizabeth had watched John get ready, she was not prepared for the sight of her second in command standing on the platform. John looked like a figure straight out of fantasy. He was wearing a dark blue cloak that sparkled with jagged shards of mirror, reflecting the firelight at odd angles; almost as if fire had melted into John himself. His hands were gloved in thick oiled leather, the oil reflecting the light almost as well as the mirrors. Even John's face looked wild. The Athosians had applied a silver root-paint to his hair to simulate the elder that had told the stories so long ago. The silver streaked through his black spiky hair, making his head look like daggers had sprouted at all angles. The cloak covered his neck, so all one could really make out was his face, which had been painted with dark black lines to make his facial expressions easily visible. Up on the platform he was transformed from ordinary John Sheppard into something straight from the heart of Athosian culture, and Elizabeth inexplicably felt her heart skip a beat. Thankfully, it was too dark for those around her to see the blush that accompanied this feeling seconds later.

It was Rodney who broke the spell as he whispered to Carson, "Celebration for the kids, huh? If I'd seen this as a kid I'd have nightmares for weeks."

"That's because you're a wimp," Ronon whispered back before Carson could respond. "Now shut up."

Elizabeth shook her head in mild amusement as the gasps from the kids in the first few rows settled down. John stood tall, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, the intensity and anticipation pulling everyone in. Soon, everyone was holding their breath. Then, John snapped open his eyes and the story began.

"This is an Earth story. It is one that has been passed down from family to family and generation to generation. It is a story of joy and pain, of love and loss, of freedom and slavery. It is a story perfect for the Nine Nights; a story of how a great people fought against an even greater enemy."

"Once upon a time there was a Kingdom in the High Hills. It was a vast Kingdom; Gondor was it's name." (Rodney coughed into his jacket at this) "The Kingdom of Gondor was for much of the year covered in snow and ice. It was a winter kingdom; cold and deadly to those who were not of the ice themselves. Yet, the people who dwelt in the heart of the Gondorian mountains were a joyful, strong people. They lived their lives in strength and beauty, and taught their children to do the same. To them, the snow and ice merely challenged them to grow stronger, and stronger they became, till they were a fearless, noble people." (Teyla smiled at Halling during this and Halling nodded back his appreciation; the Athosian was very warmed by John's nod to his people.)

"In the center of the land was a great city; the capital city of Camelot." (Now Carson was also coughing discreetly into his shirt.) "The great capitol was ruled by two queens; twin sisters of their noble mother. Their names were: Queen Beth and Queen Tala." (At this Rodney murmured something sarcastic, followed by an "ow" as Ronon presumably poked him in the ribs.)

"Queen Beth was the Queen of Order; she ministered to all of her people. She was the one who ran the administration of the country; she was the negotiator and the judge and the general problem solver. She was tall and strong and courageous, and her eyes could shoot fire. Her hair was dark and wavy though her skin was pale, giving her the look of a somber, serious woman. She always wore dresses made out of red material.

"Queen Tala was the Queen of Music, though she was the Warrior Queen as well. She rode out with the armies towards their enemies and fought at the front lines. After the battles, she would tend to the wounded and lead the people in songs of victory. She also sang for the people in all of their ceremonies. She was brave and valiant and true, and her songs lifted the hearts of her people. Her hair was light, which set off her bronze skin, and gave her a happy, cheerful air. She wore garments made out of sky blue material." (Had John have looked up, he would have seen Teyla and Elizabeth both sitting up straighter, although Elizabeth looked fairly self-conscious. Rodney was smirking at them.)

"And then, there were the People of the Court. The Silver Knight protected Queen Tala. He was silent but fierce, a warrior of great distinction, who had once killed one hundred of his foes with a stick at one time. He struck fear into the hearts of his enemies, for he was fearsome to behold. His skin was the color of the earth and his hair was like a lion's mane. No one dared approach him." (Ronon looked pleased.)

"There was also a knight that protected Queen Beth. This knight was called the Dark Knight, for he always wore black." (Rodney looked ready to burst at this and Elizabeth was bracing herself.) "He was... charming and full of good humor, though some might say he was serious. At least, a little. He held a dark secret no one knew but himself, and that spurred him to fight for justice."

Suddenly, John looked up towards the ledge where Elizabeth and company were seated. His eyes zeroed in on Rodney, who was having an extremely difficult time restraining himself. "There was also the Court Lore-Master, who was the smartest of all the citizens of Camelot. He was quirky and somewhat likable, if you could get past his propensity to be annoying." (Now Elizabeth was considering asking Ronon to knock Rodney out; the indignation coming from him was almost palpable.) "His name was Meredith." (Rodney went dead still, after whispering a shocked, "No he didn't!" But his name was no big secret, and anyway if he kept silent none of the Athosians would be the wiser. John still had his eyes locked on Rodney, and suddenly Rodney realized that he would have to keep quiet or else John would spill all. After a moment, Rodney resigned himself to that fact and sat back on his ledge, properly hushed.) After a moment, John continued. "Meredith, for all his faults, though, was still a very valuable member of the Court and had gained the respect of the Queens and knights alike. He was assisted by many couturiers a day, and had made great advances in science. The Queens often commended them."

"And the final member of the court was the Court Physician, named "Ker" but often called 'Bones,' for he disliked travel of any kind away from the mountains and often grumbled about it. He spoke in an accent like one from the highlands would speak, but his voice was always kind, and though he was a doctor, he never let his physician's temper get out of control. Well, almost never."

"Though these six are the core of our story, there are countless others that I would indeed mention if I had the time. Some of them will be mentioned later, of that I can assure you. But it is safe to say that our tale will follow the adventures of these six brave people, as they led their great city Camelot in battle with one of the fiercest enemies known to Mankind: the Clowns." (At this, all the Lanteans smiled wide. Sheppard's dislike of clowns was legendary.)

"The Clowns. There were many of them. And they just kept sending them in! How can I describe the terribleness of their kind? Their faces are white. Dead white, like the white of a dead creature painted over with white paint. Their eyes are deep set and cunning, like the calculating eyes of a deadly predator. Around their faces are drawn patterns, and their teeth are ground sharp. Their hair is curly red, and they wear suits of yellow and blue, like some demented Uno game gone bad. If they capture you, they will torture you until you loose everything that makes you human. And if they decide not to eat you, they may make you one of them. Turning you into a clown, so that you loose all former memory of who you are and become a denizen of deserted carnivals and children's birthday parties. Maybe you recognize them?" (This question was directed to the children in the front row, who all called out in one voice, "Wraith!" John nodded and looked up at Elizabeth.) "For all you know, they could be cousins of the Wraith," John said. (Elizabeth stifled a laugh.)

"Every time the clowns attacked Camelot, they were defeated by the squadrons of knights and soldiers that lived in Gondor. Again and again the Clowns attacked and were again defeated. Sometimes, it was as if a miracle had happened. Yet it was always that way; the Clowns were always defeated."

"But then there arose one Clown, one Clown who was far more cunning than those around him. One Clown to rule them all. His name was Pennywise. 'Let us attack the people of Camelot,' he told his followers, 'but as we attack, let one of us sneak past their guard into the heart of the city. There, we will steal Queen Beth. It is she who runs the City itself, and if we take her, we take the very heart of Camelot.'"

"'Why not take Queen Tala?' asked another of his lieutenants. 'She is far more accessible than Queen Beth. She is always fighting on the front lines with the knights and soldiers alike.'"

"'Tala is guarded by that Silver Knight, who slew one hundred of us with a pole. Do you want to risk those odds? And if you manage to get past him, what about the Queen herself? She has slain her fair share of our kindred as well. Besides, the Dark Knight also comes out to fight on the front lines when we attack. If he comes with them, it will leave Queen Beth unprotected. She will think she is safe in that great big castle of hers, but she will be wrong. For you see, I have already found a way in.'"

"'What is your way?' asked another Clown."

"Pennywise smiled evilly. 'I will enter Camelot by crawling through the drain pipes. We will attack the unsuspecting citizens of Camelot... at dusk tomorrow.'"

With that, John fell silent. The phrase "at dusk tomorrow," was the way every storyteller was to end each night, and Sheppard felt pleased with the way he was able to weave the phrase into the dialogue. The Athosians sat silent for a moment, content to let the last of his words ring out to the back of the cave. Then, all the children in the front rows stood and made a line. They set down on the platform several small items; storyteller gifts. There was a small leather pouch, a smooth river-stone, a red feather, a bone carving, a wooden spoon. Trinkets, really, but small presents that the children had found or made, and the gesture touched both John and the rest of the Lanteans. When the children had finished laying the objects at his feet, John squatted down and looked at them intensely.

"I accept your gifts," he said in traditional Athosian style. The children smiled, and then the cave exploded with sounds of cheers, laughter, and clapping.

oOo

After the story ended for that night, everyone lit the torches on the wall until the cave was illuminated almost as bright as day. Picnics were unpacked, treats spread out on blankets, and family after family gathered for their meal. Each family adopted a Lantean or two, until everyone was settled in and happily chattering away. John had ducked away quickly in order to change his attire, and by the time Rodney and Elizabeth were settled with a family he was back to his old John Sheppard self. He sat with Teyla and Halling for the first night, and Elizabeth had to repress a sudden unbidden pang of jealousy.

"I must be going crazy," thought Elizabeth to herself as she shoved the rush of emotion away and attempted to be charming to both her hosts and Rodney. Fortunately, Rodney was doing most of the talking, and Elizabeth found that it was easy to get by by smiling and nodding. She wasn't feeling one hundred percent either; the cold cave was doing nothing for her tight lungs. In fact, the cave felt like an iceberg. She had been freezing all evening. Elizabeth wondered if the cave was part of a larger system that went deeper under the mainland. She'd have to ask Rodney about it. If he would give her a chance to speak.

oOo

"It gets really hot in here, doesn't it?" asked Sheppard. He felt like it was a million degrees. So did everyone else; as he looked around, he noticed that people were sweating and fanning themselves with left-over packaging materials.

Teyla nodded in response to John's question. "Imagine what it would have been like for the first people who hid in here. We were much larger numbers then." She looked at her food suddenly, as if her statement had been in bad taste and she was realizing this in hindsight. Then, she glanced up and grinned mischievously. "The Queen of Music?" she asked sarcastically.

It turned out that Teyla's question was the first of many John was going to receive that evening. Everyone had thoroughly enjoyed John's story, but almost everyone had something to say. First, John got ribbed for how he went into detail describing the girls; as Rodney pointed out, "it was like listening to an internet dating site." Then, Rodney continued to rib him about the use of his real name, even though everyone on base already _knew_ it was his real name and the Athosians wouldn't even care. Rodney had to take a breath sometime, though, and when he did Carson and Teyla both alternated with praise for his attention to detail. Then Ronon wanted to know where the clown Pennywise came from, which started a rather spirited discussion about the movie "It." Elizabeth was strangely silent, though, and John thought that if he could get away for a few moments, he'd ask her what was troubling her. He never got the chance, though. The stream of people who wanted to congratulate him seemed to be never-ending, and when it was finally time to leave John was so exhausted that he hardly said one word to anyone while piloting the jumper back to Atlantis.


	3. The Second Night

**Author's note: **Okay, so this chapter is really long. But it was so much fun to write! Notice the Sparky is coming out. I'm a Teyla/Ronon fan as well, so there will be that too. This was a more serious chapter, with less spoofs due to John's mood. Don't worry, there will be tons more spoofs to come. Oh, and the nursery rhyme at the end is put in as a nod to my best friend, who said that that particular rhyme should be the theme song of John's life (maybe not that bad, but I can totally see it). Enjoy, and thanks for all the reviews!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Stargate Atlantis. Sob.

The next morning dawned bright and cheerful, though Elizabeth definitely didn't _feel_ cheerful. She groaned as she sat up in bed. Last night, she had still had to do some housekeeping things before going to bed; approving duty rosters, jumper schedules, gate dialings, and the like. It made it so that she didn't go to bed until around one-thirty, two. And her work day started at six.

Elizabeth felt like she was one hundred years old. Her bones ached, and the cold from the caves felt like it had permanently set into her bones. She felt like she wanted to go back to sleep, but her dreams were haunted by snatches of the replicator incident, and she didn't want to relive those.

Feeling like the walking dead, she dressed and meandered towards her office. A mountain of paperwork lay on the desk before her; there was so much she had to do before she could even consider getting some work done that she felt like she just wanted to cry. "I need a secretary," she mumbled as she downed two cups of coffee to fortify herself for the morning's e-mails. Then, with a third cup on a coaster on her desk, Elizabeth began to attack the piles of paper. She had only been working a couple of minutes, however, when the first interruption came. It took a moment to register, though. When it did, it was still fairly unbelievable. It sounded like there was a fight coming from the Gateroom.

Elizabeth ran out on her office balcony, afraid of what she might see... and disbelieving of what she did see. There below her, her flagship team of Atlantis was embroiled in an argument... boys vs. girls.

A Jumper was parked before the gate, looking ready to depart. In fact, Chuck was at the gate controls looking rather impatient. The back of the jumper was open and Ronon, John, and Rodney were barring Teyla from entering.

"Why can I not come with you?" Teyla asked angrily.

"Because you're not invited," said John in a teasing voice. Rodney snickered.

"You said this was a trade mission! You said... you needed my help locating a planet in a winter cycle. You said it was all for your story... and yet you will not let me go along with you?"

"Sorry," John said, not sounding sorry at all. In fact, he seemed fairly jubilant.

Teyla, for lack of a better word, growled at John. "Well, I hope your trade negotiations fail!" she shouted, still angry that he had apparently ditched her.

Elizabeth stepped closer to the edge of the balcony, figuring she needed to make her presence known now. "Colonel Sheppard! Exactly where are you going with that jumper?"

John peered up at Elizabeth and gave her his best prankster smile. "You should know; after all, you cleared it last night."

Elizabeth felt a wave of embarrassment wash over her as Teyla glowered towards her general direction. The look on her face was not pleased; it said, "So you're in this too." But before Elizabeth could say anything that would clear up the situation, Sheppard closed the jumper door, and the three men flew off through the gate. Teyla turned on her heel and walked out. Elizabeth felt terribly confused and irritated. Since when had her city gone crazy? "Apparently, four hours of sleep was too much," she mumbled to herself as she walked back to her office.

"Tell Colonel Sheppard I want to see him the minute he gets back," Weir told Chuck.

oOo

Elizabeth didn't have to wait long. A measly forty minutes passed, and then John was requesting permission to land. Chuck let the shield down and let them through. The jumper slid through the iris and floated up towards the jumper bay. But then, it stopped in midair and hovered. Elizabeth stared in shock as the back door opened again and out of it fell... snow. Fine, pristine, powdery snow.

Elizabeth was down in the Gateroom in moments, followed by Teyla, Radek, Lorne, and pretty much the rest of the base. Teyla stood in front of them all, her eyes shining with a sudden understanding.

"I love the snow," she whispered happily. "Every year, my father always took me to a winter planet, just for a day."

"Yeah, well I hope you appreciate this," Rodney said with a grumble, "cause it was backbreaking labor to get all of this in here!"

"A little labor never hurt anyone," Sheppard teased back, his eyes shining as well. Then, he looked at Teyla and said, "It was all Ronon's idea. He wanted to get you something special. Merry Christmas!" After a beat, he looked at the rest of the expedition members. "Come on, everyone! Let's have a snow day!" he said.

Weir watched besotted as her entire staff flung themselves into the snow, throwing it at one another, making snow angles, building small and rather soggy snowmen. Teyla stood under the jumper door, twisting and turning under the drifts that fell down from the jumper.

"I must be out of my mind, I must be crazy," thought Elizabeth as she racked her brain trying to figure out when she had authorized all this. It was all too much for her to take in, and she just turned around and made her way back to her office where at least the paperwork made sense.

"What's wrong with Elizabeth?" asked Ronon as she turned away, not even attempting to have fun with the snow.

John frowned. "I don't know. I'll ask her," he replied.

oOo

Elizabeth sat in her office, feeling an entire pool of strange emotions twisting though her. First, there was annoyance at John for making the Gateroom unusable for the moment. Then, there was the annoyance at John for not clearing this properly with her (that she could recall). Then, there was the annoyance at John for doing this for Teyla... well, that was irrational. Why shouldn't he like Teyla? She was smart and brave and beautiful. Besides, it was year three, after all. John _should _have someone to grow closer to. And yet, for some reason Elizabeth couldn't explain, it galled at her that John should choose Teyla.

"Come on," one part of her mind said to her. "Why would John like you? You and he definitely don't see eye to eye most of the time, and when you do agree it is over nothing that really matters. Besides, you have a city to run; you have no time for love."

"Love?" shouted the other part of her mind. "Maybe not love, not right away... but why should he pick Teyla over me? What does she have that I don't have? John... makes me smile. He makes me feel good when I am around him. And he'd risk his life for me. If that's not the beginning of love... I don't know what is."

Both these ideas swarmed through Elizabeth's head, igniting a war in her mind that her body was too tired to deal with at the moment. So when John came through her office door seconds later, she responded the only way that made sense.

"John, just go away," she stated fiercely

John frowned and leaned on her desk, still looking at ease. His eyes had taken on a suspicious tint though. "Now, that's not a kind way to talk to your second-in-command," he replied.

Elizabeth gritted her teeth. She felt like yelling and crying at the same time, and having John in front of her did not help her to feel any more charitable. "Where did you get permission to pull of what you did?" she asked suspiciously.

John's frown only deepened slightly. "From you," he stated. "Don't you remember doing it... it was on the jumper request I sent in last night."

Elizabeth was afraid of this. Last night was little more than a blur, and if she had signed off on it... well, she had to live with it. But that still didn't make her any less angry. In fact, it made her even more so.

John picked up on her anger; it was almost as if sparks were flying between them. "What?" he finally said, annoyed by her angry glare. "You signed off on this mission... you even commented that it was great to let Atlantis have a white Christmas! We talked about this a couple of nights ago at dinner. So why are you acting like this? Why not go out and enjoy it?"

"I bet Teyla is enjoying it immensely," Elizabeth spat out before she could restrain herself.

"Of course Teyla is enjoying it... it was meant for her. Everyone else is enjoying it too. In fact, if you weren't such a grumpy old lady, you'd let your guard down and have some fun as well."

"What did you call me?" Elizabeth shouted, standing quickly, her eyes blazing.

Sheppard flinched but didn't back down. "I called you a grumpy old lady," he stated. "You... locking yourself in here instead of allowing yourself to have fun has set you apart from the rest of the base, and not in a good way. And bringing Teyla into the whole mess... why would you? She didn't even know what we were doing."

Elizabeth felt stung. She tried and tried her best to run this base well daily, and the fact that such a significant event was approved by her when she had no knowledge of it was a glaring mistake. Besides this, her second-in-command was now angry, and this tore at her, chastising her and adding fuel to her fire at the same time.

"Get out," Elizabeth stated flatly, her voice dangerously low.

John scowled and turned on his heel, not even bothering to glance back. Elizabeth sank to her desk and sat there staring numbly at the screen.

oOo

Actually, when John had presented the snow idea to Elizabeth, he had presented it as a "wouldn't it be cool if we could do this," and not an actual, "I'm bringing snow through the gate tomorrow." So really, Elizabeth shouldn't have been _too _mortified. John always bent the rules whenever he could, and sometimes even when he couldn't. He really couldn't credit the snow idea though, for it had been Ronon's idea all along. Ronon had wanted to surprise Teyla with a snowstorm since snow was one of her favorite things and she so rarely got to see it (Athosians settled by the coast where snow just turned to rain in the sky.) Actually, the amount of sentiment Ronon put into the plan surprised John, and as he watched the two building a snowman together he felt a wave of understanding.

"Ronon's got the hots for Teyla," he thought, approving. Even though Ronon said Teyla and John would be good together, John could see that Ronon and Teyla would be a far better match. She was joyful and at peace, yet her heart held a fire that complemented Ronon's built-in inferno. On missions they often paired off together, and they were able to move through the brush so well it was as if they were one body instead of two. They made a strong match.

"Hey buddy," Sheppard said as he sauntered over to Ronon. "How's your man coming along?"

"Not good," Ronon assessed as the snowman's stick arm fell out of it's snowball socket.

John grinned and looked over at Teyla, who was busy creating a face on a snowball. "How'd your present go over?"

"Good," Ronon grinned, watching Teyla with a certain look that said, "she is _so_ mine."

"Well, good!" John said as he turned and headed for the control room. As he passed Elizabeth's office, he felt the sudden urge to go make amends... and yet he did not. After all, why should he be sorry? It was Elizabeth who had gotten out of shape. And yet, John had the strange feeling that he had missed something important. Something was wrong.

oOo

The night fell clear and dark over Atlantis. About half of the city trudged out to the mainland for this night. As John understood it, the Athosians had different celebrations they participated in on different days. The second night was the most somber night; it was the night of remembrance for all who had come before. Everyone on the mainland had painted a light-blue stripe under their eyes to symbolize tears, and there had been little to no talking permitted all day. Therefore, it was a gloomy party indeed that settled down into the caves that evening. The gloominess suited John well; he was in a bad mood. Elizabeth had not come.

He had not spoken to her before he had to leave to get ready for the evening. Actually, after vaporizing the left-over snow with the gate and mopping up the rest of the slush, John had no time to do much of anything. It had been a challenge to find time to eat! And he was still angry at Elizabeth then. Now, as he stood on the platform dressed in the mirrored robes, his own face heavily painted, he sorely missed her. It had been good to have a friend to talk to before the ceremony began. At least his team and Carson had come! John stood tall, focused his eyes on his friends on the ledge, and began the next part of his tale.

"The next day the clowns, led by the evil Pennywise, planned their attack. So silent were they about it, though, that on the outer fringes of Gondor not a single soul had the slightest warning. In fact, it was a rather beautiful day in Camelot, and everyone was rejoicing because the first snow of the year had come. Everyone was out and about, enjoying the cold weather and each other's company. Everyone that is, except for Queen Beth."

"For some reason, she stood at her palace window, afraid to come down. It had been said that she had received a dream the night before, in which a clown had taken her away from the snowy mountains into the depths of the earth itself, where the walls of stone seem to beat like a heart. So unsettled was she by her dream that she stayed alone all day, letting no one see her except for the Dark Knight."

"'What is the matter?' the Dark Knight asked, for the life of him not knowing what _he_ could have possibly done wrong. (Here Carson shook his head in amusement; there was nothing on base Carson didn't know about, it seemed. Elizabeth had often vented to him in the past; maybe Carson had gotten an earful. John would have to ask him about her later.)"

"Queen Beth fixed her fire-eyes on him and replied, 'I have a terrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, as if... as if the world I know will end today. I don't know where this feeling is coming from, but it is a feeling of dread... a feeling of the certainty of death.'"

"The Dark Knight was just about to point out that she was safe and protected in a strong castle made of stone when the Knight's squire Robin ran through the doorway." "'Sir!' the young man shouted, terrified. 'The Clowns have been sighted on the southern border; in great numbers they come! The Silver Knight is planning a counter attack and Queen Tala is arming.'"

"The Dark Knight made ready to leave, but then thought better of it and stated his intention to stay near Queen Beth. But the Queen would have none of it; she ordered him out of her chambers and sent him to the fight. It was fine by the Dark Knight, but how he wished later he had stayed!"

"The Knights and Queen Tala rode out at dusk, intent on keeping their borders safe. They fought bravely and well, though the battle was disturbingly easy. Every time they advanced, the Clowns would retreat instead of fight. Every time they pulled back to their borders, the Clowns advanced. It was a strange dance, and after a time they began to feel that something else was up. By dawn, they had devised an advancing strategy that would hopefully trap the Clowns in a valley. But before they could start doing this, the Clowns had a massive retreat, following some unheard command to withdraw back into their own country, the country of Volkswagen. Not a town on the border had been touched."

"'Let us return,' said the Dark Night uneasily. 'I have a terrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.'"

"They reached Camelot at midday and it looked no worse for wear. Everyone was going about their day to day business. When the Dark Knight entered the castle, he asked right away for the whereabouts of the Queen Beth, and was informed that she had not arose yet."

"'She retired last night soon after you all left,' the steward had said. 'However, her night must not have been a restful one. We heard her screaming and kicking, which we attributed to her nightmares. After all, it is not the first time she's called out from terrible dreams.'"

"'Did you not even think to check on her?' Queen Tala asked, entering the room on the tail end of the conversation."

"'Check on her? Why? Camelot is as safe as a baby's cradle.'"

"The Dark Knight was already running before the steward stopped speaking."

"Down hall after hall the Dark Knight ran, his mind not daring to dwell on the possibilities of what might happened to his Queen. Door after door in the Queen's expansive apartments he checked, shouting as he went, but she was not in one of them! At last, he came to the final room; her bedchamber. He braced himself for what he might find."

"The curtains and blankets of her bed were shredded, as if she had used them to shield off a monster. The wall behind her sink, which piped in the water for her vanity, had been busted through, and the Dark Knight could see a narrow passage between her wall and the wall of the next room. It would be a tight squeeze, but... you could fit a person behind there. If that person didn't struggle. If that person was unable to struggle. The thought made him so angry that he almost missed the clue left behind by the demented enemy: a playing card with the picture of a Joker in a sailboat." (Strangely, no one got this except Ronon, who had stayed up all night the previous night in order to watch _It._)

"'What shall we do?' asked Queen Tala. It was later, and everyone had gathered for a council of war to plan their next steps."

"'We should go after these Clowns,' the Silver Knight said. 'Not much is known about their territory, but the Lore-Master Meredith will have at least partial maps of their realm.'"

"'Key word: Partial!' exclaimed Meredith. 'We don't even know how old these maps are; the information is severely out-dated. Besides that, once you get inside the Clown's country, how are you going to move about? Everyone will be able to see you for what you are, it's not as if you can blend in. This whole idea is a bad idea from the start.'"

` "'Maybe not,' Bones chipped in. 'I believe I can create a type of paint that will cover our faces and make us look almost as bad as they do. Then, all we need is a little hair dye and some garish clothing... I believe we can pull it off!'"

"'Can?' confirmed the Dark Knight. 'Then by all means we will! Bones, gather everything you need. Meredith, we're going to need every map of their area we can get. Silver Knight, we're going to need plenty of weapons.'"

"'I can help get those,' Queen Tala said, rising."

"The Dark Knight rose as well. 'No, you will not get those,' he stated firmly. 'You are not coming with us.'"

"'What?' she angrily cried. 'I fight the Clowns on a day to day basis, and now you tell me I am not good enough?'" (Here Teyla was smiling, the conversation humorously familiar to her.)

"As everyone scurried off to gather their items, the Dark Knight took the Queen aside. 'You are the only ruler our people have left,' he stated. 'If you die, our spirit will die as well. We have already lost our heart; how can we loose our spirit? No, you must stay. Do not make me restrain you.'"

"Queen Tala marched off, angrily muttering under her breath. However, she was not among the men when they gathered again to pack supplies and plan their journey. They stayed up the entire night, plotting and preparing, but by midnight they were sorely exhausted. 'Get some sleep,' commanded the Dark Knight. 'We will do no good to anyone this tired. We will all head out... at dusk tomorrow.'"

With that, John ended, and the Athosians somberly nodded their heads towards him. Everyone then gathered up their blankets and departed, quiet as they came. John was exhausted; the gloominess which hung over the people's heads had infiltrated his story and had brought everyone down. Halling had mentioned that John did very well for second night, but John barely heard him. His mind was on other matters... chiefly Elizabeth.

oOo

There was little to no ribbing in the jumper that night. Of course, Rodney had complained about the use of Robin and had demanded that he be put into the story more. Teyla had remarked on John's cleverness to weave the events of the day into a proper story, and Ronon had shrugged and said it was alright (too somber for his taste; to a Satedan, stories were just giant boasts told over large quantities of alcohol). The jumper eventually grew silent, and Carson took his turn up in the front with Sheppard. He had noticed John was in a bad mood from the first and had suspected it had something to do with Weir, though he hadn't seen her (except in passing) for a good week or so. He tried to start a conversation a couple of times, but each time it fell flat. Finally, he got frustrated and blurted out, "Just go talk to her, lad! It'd be better than spending your life away brooding."

John turned to Carson and grinned a small grin. "How did you know I'm having women trouble?" he asked.

Carson rolled his eyes. "I'm not blind, ye know! I can see that you care a lot for her. And if she cares for you like I think she does... ye should be fine! Just... start out apologizing. Whatever you did; whatever she thinks you did... it doesn't matter. Just throw yourself at her mercy and trust me, ye'll have a much better conversation."

John laughed at this, his spirits rising a little. "When did you get so wise about women?" he asked.

Carson shook his head, his eyes still merry. "When I was a wee lad. It's the technique I used for me mum!"

oOo

After docking the jumper, John felt completely exhausted. But there was one person he still had to see if he could get any restful sleep that night. In the Gateroom, John had observed that Elizabeth's office light was still on. That in itself was bothersome; it was nearly midnight, and John knew she hadn't been getting much sleep lately. He walked quickly past the couple people who were on the night shift and noticed her office door was closed. He knocked quietly. No answer.

"Elizabeth, it's me," John called. Still no answer. "Dr. Weir," he called, switching on his com. Still no answer.

John scowled. He had a quick thought pass through his brain that maybe she wasn't in there. But that made no sense; the lights in Atlantis were censored and only were on if they picked up a heat signature in the room_. Someone _had to be in there. John activated the door panel and keyed in his code. The door slid open easily, as it normally would have. John walked into Weir's office.

For a moment, John wondered if the censors really were malfunctioning. Elizabeth's chair was vacant, and a quick turn around her office showed that there was no one behind him. And then, John saw an arm stretched out on the floor.

In a few quick steps he had skirted the desk and he stood in shock, unprepared for what he was seeing. Elizabeth was sprawled on the floor, small patches of blood pooled around her mouth. Her breath came in ragged gasps that sounded like they snapped and crinkled, and her forehead was burning up. John quickly called Carson to come to Elizabeth's office and then he knelt down beside her, trying to assess what had happened. Her body felt like a furnace, and though her skin was clammy it was also pale as the moon. She didn't respond to any of John's gentle queries, and John felt his heart nearly stop. He held her hand as he waited for Carson to come, squeezing it tightly as if that would make her hold on more.

"I thought everything was fine," John thought. He was completely shocked. Whatever she had been going through, whatever was wrong... she had kept it totally a secret. Until it was too late. In fact, the whole situation reminded John of a nursery rhyme he had heard when he was young. _Ladybug, ladybug fly away home. Your house is on fire and your children are alone. _Elizabeth had certainly been alone tonight... and for all John knew, it may have cost her her life.


	4. The Third Night

**Author's Note: **Hello all! Sorry I haven't been posting as quick as I usually do, but Christmas plus my little brother's wedding sprang up on me! These three weeks have been a crazy blur, but I've finally found a little time to write. So, I didn't meet my ambitious deadline of Christmas, but I'm plugging away at it anyway. I never leave a story undone (that is just too cruel), so no fear! It may just take me a lot longer than I thought. Anyway, enjoy the next installment, and if there is anyone still reading this, Merry Christmas! Please Review!

**Disclaimer: **I own no rights to Atlantis or any other various stories briefly mentioned in here.

Rarely did John ever perceive anything in slow motion. In fact, the world seemed to speed by to him at a remarkably fast pace; these three years in the Pegasus Galaxy had shot by like a bullet out of a gun. Yet, the minutes waiting in the infirmary for news of Elizabeth seemed to drag into centuries; each minute seemed like a hundred years had gone by. John sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair near Carson's desk, shivering though the infirmary was warm. He couldn't get the image of her lying in a small pool of blood out of his mind.

A touch on his shoulder brought him out of his dark memories. Teyla had snuck up on him. "I just heard... well, heard rumors. What happened?"

John frowned. "We're still not certain. Carson'll let me know when she's out of the imaging chamber. I... found her in her office unconscious. Carson sent a team to bring her to the infirmary. He hurried so quick to get here; he was in his pajamas still!" John's wry attempt at levity fell flat, and after a moment he said darkly, "I never wanted to see her like this again."

Teyla nodded in understanding. She remembered when Elizabeth had been taken over by replicators; how Elizabeth had fought the invading host through a battle of wills. She also remembered the recklessness John had displayed in saving Elizabeth's life. He had risked his own life that night, and that very act had filled Teyla with a new respect towards her leader. Yet it also filled her with a wariness, too. She was wary of the desire to act she saw in John, though it was not unlike what she saw inside Ronon. It was different with Ronon, though. He was easy to understand, easy to empathize with. Ronon's actions were always larger-than-life, intending to take out many of the enemy. John was... self-destructive in a way. In fact, there were times when John's dark side scared her. Perhaps she did not understand John because he was an alien of sorts. After all, he was from a different galaxy. In fact, all of the Atlantis expedition seemed crazy from time to time. But _John_ was a mystery. "It will be a long night," Teyla stated after a time.

John rolled his eyes. "Actually, it's already morning," he grumbled.

Teyla sighed in irritation. "You're starting to sound like Rodney," she prodded.

That got a smile out of John, and she saw some of the tension in his shoulders melt away. She smiled; they would pull through this time, as they had every other time. Was that not the Athosian way?

oOo

When Carson finally came out to meet John, it was nearing sunrise. John was slumped in the chair, his eyes closed. However, as soon as Carson's subtle throat-clear rang out through the room, John's eyes popped open and he stared at Carson. "How's she doing, Doc?" he asked, sitting up with a jolt.

"Better now, thank God," Carson replied. "She gave me quite a scare for a while there, though."

"What happened?" asked John.

"Elizabeth had a massive buildup of fluid in her lungs; probably from that mission she went on a couple of weeks ago."

"Mission," John muttered. "You mean the mission where Lorne almost got swept away by that flood?"

"Aye, I believe so," Carson replied. "I've seen a couple of Lorne's men for cold symptoms, and I had to give antibiotics to Lorne. But Elizabeth seemed fine then. So now, when I heard her breathing, I crossed her symptoms in the ancient database and I came up with the information on Ataries Syndrome."

"What's that?" John asked, feeling like Carson was stalling for time.

"It, for lack of a better way of describing it, is a Pegasus Galaxy version of pneumonia. In fact, all the symptoms of pneumonia are present, save for the hacking cough. Because of this, most people feel like they are just sick with a cold or are just tired, and they don't seek help until it's too late. The bacteria moves into the bloodstream to the heart... and that's all she wrote. Luckily in Elizabeth's case, we have a strong supply of Ancient antibacterial here in Atlantis. We were able to flood her body with 'em. They should effectively kill off all the bacteria."

John nodded in relief. "So she will be okay then?"

"She should be."

"Should be? What's that mean Doc?" John exclaimed. "I thought you said she was better!"

Carson stared at John intently. "She _is_ doing better, lad." The seriousness of his tone implied what he was not saying, and everything became clear to John. They had come very close to loosing their leader. Again.

After a moment, Carson sighed. "It all depends now if she reacts alright or not to the antibiotics. They were made for Ancients, after all. But, with as sick as she was... human antibiotics would not have done the trick."

"Okay." John ran a hand through his hair. "When will we know when she's out of the woods?" he asked.

"We should know in a day or so... they need time to set in."

oOo

It was a long day. John had gotten a quick couple of hours of sleep after hearing Elizabeth's diagnosis, but it was not enough. He had no idea the amount of work Elizabeth had to do each day! Fortunately, Teyla often helped run Atlantis when Elizabeth was away, and she knew what absolutely had to be done. Still, John had to give the okay for everything, and in the end he ended up practically running his legs off. By afternoon, he was thoroughly exhausted. Still, that did not keep him from running to the infirmarary the moment he had a chance.

Hearing that there was no change in Elizabeth's condition did him no good, though, and in the end Shepherd's restless pacing drove Carson absolutely nuts. "Get outta here," Carson commanded, his tone kind but firm. "In fact, don't you have a story to be preparing?"

John looked back at Carson in surprise. "Oh, I completely forgot about tonight! Do I go Doc? I mean, what if Elizabeth wakes up?"

Carson's eyes narrowed. He was a patient man, but even patience had it's limits (and Carson's limits were considerably shorter today due to lack of sleep). "Look, Colonel... the way I see it, if you go to the mainland, you will always be in radio contact and can be back on Atlantis in ten minutes or less. All'ye doin here is making me jumpy! Elizabeth'll wake up when her body lets her, and given how run down she's been lately... I wouldn't be surprised if she slept through another couple'o days. Besides, I think it'll be good for you to get away from here; you are just lettin worry eat ye!"

John took a deep breath and nodded. Carson's advice was good; right now, John felt as if he would internally combust unless he had some action to do. Yet, he wanted to be there when Elizabeth woke up.

Carson watched John's thoughts play across his face. Normally, John had an excellent poker face, but as a doctor Carson had seen the same track of thought countless times. "I'll call you the minute she wakes, alright?" Carson offered.

John looked at Carson, gratitude in his eyes. "Alright. Thanks, Doc."

"No trouble a t'all," Carson replied.

oOo

Teyla was packing an overnight bag. Tonight was Third-night, the night when her people brought sleeping rolls and slept in the cave. Teyla wished to join them. Third-night had always been one of Teyla's favorites, for after the story-telling, the matrons from the various clans would sing a lullaby to their families. Athosian lullabies were particularly beautiful because they could all be sung in harmony together, and during this night, they would waft through the cavern like a multi-layered prayer.

Even though Third-night was a favorite, Teyla had still debated on going. With Weir ill the morale sunk low, even though Elizabeth was out of the worst of the danger. It was amazing how fast gossip could flow among the people of Earth. In fact, Teyla had to dispel several myths throughout the day; Elizabeth was on her deathbed, Elizabeth _had_ died, Elizabeth was recovering from a bender (though she had no idea where that one came from). It frustrated her from time to time how negative her adopted people were; they all seemed to believe staunchly in Rodney's favorite belief, the Law of Murphy. Yet, for being such a negative people, they didn't really let their worry cut into their work efforts. They city was running well; much the same as it always did.

Teyla was having second thoughts, wondering if her staying would help morale, when her door chimed. "Come in," she called.

The door slid open, and Ronon had stepped in, carrying a big bundle of what looked like furs on his back. "Can I stay with your people tonight?" he asked without preamble.

Teyla stared at him in surprise. "Certainly, you are welcome," she replied. "But why do you want to, if you don't mind me asking."

Ronon blinked. "John says Christmas time everyone spends with their families. Though my family is here, I... miss seeing real families."

Teyla was perplexed; Ronon never opened up like this. Ever. "Christmas is still a week away," Teyla replied.

"Rodney says that they celebrate it the entire season, not just a day."

Teyla nodded in assent. "Very well," she replied. "We're leaving in an hour."

oOo

It was a pitifully small group of Lanteans that traveled to the mainland that night. Besides John, Teyla, and Ronon, only Lorne and Lieutenant Mickleman had opted to come. Every scientist was busy with their own research projects due to the two-week stand down, and the military members of the expedition were bored stiff. Many were using the extra time to practice their skills in war games, using the uninhabited parts of the city. Lorne and Mickleman had gotten killed off already, though, and were eager to get out of the city. (Truth be told, it was kind of a cheat how they got killed off so early; one of the groups had put a traitor in their midst, and the spy had sniped both Lorne and Mickleman before being discovered.)

Night fell, and the Athosians once again packed into the cave. This time, the cave underwent a huge transformation. Every family had brought a bundle of blankets, and when unrolled they created a giant patchwork carpet along the floor of the cave. Some families brought fire-pots, and these were distributed throughout the cave, looking like bright red flowers in the dim light. Small pheasant-like birds were tucked in amongst the hot coals, and in no time the smell of roasting meat made everyone's mouths water. Third night started out with dinner, then came the story, and last came the songs.

Since the Lantean party was so small, everyone dined with Halling. Elizabeth's second absence was duly explained, although to a much more positive degree. Though Sheppard thought Halling was a good man, the soldier in him did not let him reveal the true state their leader was in. Saying Elizabeth was sick and unable to come was as close to the truth as John wanted to get, and Teyla did not correct him (nor did she approach the subject when John left to don his costume).

After they had finished a dinner of raw greens and roasted bird, the fire pots were extinguished, and John stood to take his place upon the platform. Halling began the evening with a speech on the significance of Third-night, as it was the first night that Wraith walked the planet. John barely listened; he was looking at the audience of Athosians, who looked back at him with glowing eyes. "I'm glad I didn't call tonight off," John thought as he took in at all the happy, expectant faces. "In fact, I'm glad I can do _something_ good for someone tonight."

Halling seemed to speak forever, but at last he finished. John took a deep breath and straightened. The room grew still.

"When dusk fell," John began, "the party of warriors from Camelot set out upon their mission to rescue Queen Beth from the Clowns. You'll remember that the party included the Silver Knight, the Dark Night, Lore-Master Meredith, and Court Physician Bones. You'll also remember that Queen Tala was barred from coming as well, which made her pretty angry, but we need not go into detail about her rage."

"It was a very somber party that trudged to the borders of Gondor. Though the four moved quickly, their hearts were heavy with worry. The heaviest heart belonged to the Dark Knight, for he felt that it was his fault Queen Beth had been captured. You see... he had missed the signs that Queen Beth was in danger. He had thought the battle with the Clowns was strange, but he hadn't followed his instincts to turn back and protect her. His lady had been captured, and for a knight, that is the worst failure of all." (The Athosians grew silent, thinking of this strange world that John came from. Really, how much power did these Earth-dwellers have? To the residents of the Pegasus galaxy, the coming of the Wraith was day and night to them. It was the way the world went. That one person would blame themselves over their inability to protect another... it was understandable, but extreme.)

After a moment, John continued. "By dawn, the four came to the borders of Volkswagen. They had never set foot in Clown country before, but now they had no choice. The country sprawled before them like an endless expanse of... nothing-ness. Calling the place a desert is too kind a word; in fact, the land was so desolate that it made a desert look like a paradise. The land sloped and cut into hills and valleys like waves frozen on a choppy sea. The ground itself was a gray, hard clay mud that made a footstep sound like the scraping of fingernails on chalkboards." (Lorne and Mickleman flinched involuntarily at the memory of that particular terrible sounds, while the rest of the Athosians gave John blank stares.)

"Worst of all were the twisted stakes of metal that spiraled out of the ground like some mutated tree. The Clowns moved from place to place using their circus tents, and the metal was their tether to tie them on."

"'Going in there is suicide,' Meredith said, staring at the vacant expanse before him. 'Look, there is no place to hide! They'll see us coming for miles around; this was a stupid plan to begin with. We'll never get her back.'"

"'Don't like it, go home,' the Silver Knight muttered."

"Meredith frowned. 'Well, I said I'd come with you guys, so I'm coming.'"

"'Then quit complaining,' the Dark Knight ordered. The four then stood there in silence, watching the sky lighten, though it did not lighten much. Low gray clouds had settled in the sky, effectively blocking most of the light. The light that did make it through the clouds was a sickly yellow gray, and the wind was a bitter cold that cut through their armor like a knife."

"'Well, if we are going to do this, we better do it,' Bones stated. 'Every hour we waste is an hour Queen Beth does not have.'"

"The Dark Knight was silent for a moment. 'What will they do with her, Doc?' he asked."

"'Probably turn her into a Clown,' Bones stated. 'After all, what would the gain be in killing her? No, if I know the Clowns... they'll want to keep her alive. For bargaining.' A moment passed, and then Bones said, 'Well, let's don our paint and costumes. It won't due to be caught in Clown country not looking like a Clown.'"

"An hour later, the four could barely recognize themselves. In fact, it took some willpower not to _want_ to attack each other. For safety reasons, the Dark Knight had his team don black armbands so they could tell each other apart in battle, if it came down to that."

"'I'm not going to wear this,' Meredith complained.

"The Dark Knight shrugged. 'It's your funeral,' he commented."

"Meredith grudgingly put the armband on, and the team was ready to go. None of them noticed the gray-cloaked figure that trailed behind them."

"For a couple of hours, the trek into Clown territory was deathly still. Like shadows the four moved from one slope in the land to the next, never really coming onto the worn pits in the earth where the Clowns made their roads and camps. Their precaution seemed somewhat unnecessary to the Dark Knight. He figured that if they looked like Clowns, why bother to sneak through what should be their own territory? Besides, didn't Queen Beth need rescuing as soon as possible? Why bother taking the short route?"

"The four stopped to take a quick lunch around noon, and the Dark Knight proposed walking on the paths. 'It will get us there much quicker if we use the established roads,' he prodded."

"Meredith wasn't so sure. 'If we do end up in a camp of Clowns, and there is something wrong with our disguises, it's over. We won't have a chance. After all, we are only four with limited weapons.'"

"'Speak for yourself,' the Silver Knight said. He always carried an unlimited supply of knives braided into his mane of hair." (Ronon grinned at the nod his way.)

"'Still, I think we should be cautious,' Meredith stated."

"'Don't lore-masters have magic?' asked the Dark Knight. 'I thought you went to the CC this year to study under Merlin the Great.'

"'Who, that second-rate string-bean? I am a scientist, as well as a Lore-Master. I don't need beginner magic courses to keep up my skills.'"

"'The CC?' asked Bones."

"'Conjurer's Convention,' the Dark Knight replied.

"'Anyway, I say we are being too cautious,' the Silver Knight chipped in. 'We should be making better progress. And the Clowns won't think anything of us; we look just like them.'"

"'Agreed,' the Dark Knight consented. 'We'll go out onto the roads, and if worst comes to worst... heaven forbid... Meredith can use his magic to get us out of a jam.'"

"Meredith agreed, albeit sulkily, and the four headed out to the roads. None of them saw the gray figure rise like a wisp of fog and follow them."

"Meanwhile, in Pennywise's fortress, Queen Beth was pacing the small room that served as her prison. Pennywise was standing in front of her, grinning from ear to ear. Or at least, his painted face was."

"'You want to know how I got these scars?'" he asked, pointing to his cheeks. Queen Beth turned her face away. 'It was in a battle with _your_ people! These were my first battle scars! And so I said to myself, 'what should I do now that I have my badge of honor? I know! I'll kidnap Queen Beth! Why? Because she's so purty.'"

"Queen Beth stood tall, her eyes shooting fire. She may have been afraid inside, but she certainly didn't show it. 'Why have you really brought me here?' she asked, sounding a little bored."

"The clown frowned. 'Well, if you put it that way,' he scowled. Then, a sickening grin spread across his already sickeningly happy face. 'You are a direct woman. I like direct women. You always know what they want. Well, I'll tell you why I've brought you here. Not for ransom, like you poor pathetic people seem to think you are worth. And not to kill you... I can do that any time. No, Queen Beth, I have brought you here... to woo you.'"

"'What?' Queen Beth questioned flatly.

"'To woo you. Become your Major Amour. To be your chickadee, your partner in crime, your Mungojerrie, your own personal picnic basket. And in return... you shall become my Queen.'"

"Queen Beth didn't flinch a muscle, though Pennywise's words were malicious and meant to frighten. 'Seriously?' Queen Beth queried. 'Don't make me laugh!'"

"Pennywise froze for a moment in rage, then exploded in movement. In seconds he drew out a syringe (you know kids, like Carson's shots he gives you), grabbed Queen Beth in a headlock, and jammed the needle into her shoulder. 'You may change your tune soon,' he laughed in a malicious clown chuckle. 'You see, my dear, I have injected you with a serum that will re-organize your DNA into that of a Clown's. By tonight you will not be able to resist telling a bad pun. By tomorrow, you may even begin to have the urge to learn miming. And the first outward signs of change should start showing... at dusk tomorrow.'"

John bowed a little as the Athosians clapped. He knew his story had been a bit action-less, but he had had little time to plan it with as busy as he had been running the city. He needn't have worried; most of the Athosians were concentrating on the best part of the night still to come; the singing.

oOo

Teyla rose as John stepped off the platform. The platform torches were extinguished, and the Athosians lit candles. The effect was lovely; the clear flames shone in the darkness like stars, making it look like space had settled in the heart of the caves. Ronon looked around at all the families, watching the children's eyes grow wide at the sight of so much beauty around them. Belonging, love, _home_. Ronon took a deep breath. It had been a long time since he had been allowed the time to think such thoughts. It had been an even longer time since he had allowed himself to dwell on an idea of belonging. A runner was alone; there was no other word to describe them. A curse even, to the residents of the Pegasus galaxy. And yet... Ronon felt as if he really did have a place to belong now. He glanced over at Teyla, suddenly curious at what she looked like in the soft light.

The sight of her took his breath away! Sometime, during John's story, she had run out and changed into her blue gown she wore in Athosian ceremonies. The candle light flickered on her reddish tresses of hair, making it look as if she were glowing. She stood tall and breathed deeply, as if preparing herself for something difficult. The entire cavern became still. Not a single person dared to breathe, not even Ronon. Then, Teyla opened her mouth and began to sing a lullaby. Her clear high voice rose through the caverns like a bird in flight, and Ronon was mesmerized.

For a couple of minutes, only Teyla's voice could be heard. Then, another woman rose from her seat in the sea of people. She was also wearing ceremonial garb. She began singing along with Teyla, and though her song was a completely different song, it harmonized perfectly. The two soprano's songs swirled in the air, gliding around each other like a pair of eagles, bouncing off the walls and echoing in harmony, almost as if they were beings with minds of their own. Then, an alto's voice joined in the song.

Voice after voice joined in every few minutes with a song that perfectly fit. It was like listening to a symphony comprised only by voices. Soprano, alto, contralto, mezzo-soprano, even a tenor lifted up into the air, filling the cavern with song until it seemed as if the very stones would be shaken down, so powerful was the music. Ronon sat transfixed for a while, though what amazed him the most was how beautiful Teyla looked. How come he had never noticed?

It only seemed like a few minutes had gone by when every voice suddenly stopped. The resounding notes from the last crescendo of music bounced off in every direction as echoes, and when the last echoes faded away, the Athosians quietly blew out their candles, lit their night-lamps, and settled down for the evening's sleep. Family groups huddled together close, little ones already put to sleep by the music. There was whispered, happy chattering, but no one dared to speak too loudly, afraid they might break the spell the wonderful music had cast. Ronon spread his blankets next to Halling, and Teyla joined a family Ronon often saw her talking with. Soon, the cave was settled in contented silence.

The rest of the Lanteans trudged back to the jumper in silence, their minds on many different things. Music has a strange way of working on the mind, and every team member (Teyla and Ronon included) was deep in thought. Lorne was thinking about how he could paint the scene he had seen in the caves. Lieutenant Mickleman was thinking about his little sister who sung in choir every year. Back in the cave, Teyla was contemplating the words of her lullaby, wondering if they truly made a child sleep better at night with the Wraith about. Ronon was contemplating how he could ask Teyla on a date without stepping on John's toes. And in the jumper, John's thoughts were already back in Atlantis with Elizabeth, wondering if her condition had changed at all.


	5. The Fourth Night

**Author's Note: **Hi everyone. I know people are probably ready to throttle me with how slow this is coming along, so if you want to wait until this story is done to review I totally understand. I should have started around Halloween, but I had no idea it would grow this big. On the other hand, if it doesn't bother you to have such a long time between parts, please keep reviewing. It keeps me going :) Thank you also for the kind reviews!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Stargate Atlantis or anything else in that realm.

The Fourth Night

The moment the jumper landed, John was out and on his way to the infirmary.

"Don't you think you should get some sleep first?" Lorne called after him. "If you start bugging Carson at this hour, he might slip you a Mickey."

John threw his hand over his shoulder in a 'don't care' gesture and picked up his pace. He was _exhausted_. But he had to see if there was any change in Elizabeth's condition; he couldn't sleep until he knew how she was doing.

"Oh, yeh back," mumbled Carson. "Why am I not surprised. Tell me, d'ye at least park the jumper before you came stomping in?"

John sighed. Carson was usually much more amiable. However, Carson was closely running on the same amount of sleep John was running on, and that thought gave John an extra margin of patience. "Well, Doc, how's she doing?"

Carson looked to the sky as if to ask for help, then said, "Wait a couple o'minutes, Colonel. I'll have'a answer for ye soon."

John nodded and took Carson's chair again as Carson headed over to Elizabeth's bed. John had to fight from nodding off and falling off Carson's chair; he knew the moment he did that he'd earn himself a place in an infirmary bed. It was extremely hard to stay awake, though. John had a sneaky suspicion that Carson's couple of minutes had turned into the better part of an hour, but he was struggling so hard to stay conscious that time seemed to drag into an infinitesimal speck. Finally, in desperation, John got up again and began pacing the room. He hadn't paced long before Carson came back in.

"Good news?" John asked, silently bracing himself for the worst.

"Aye, lad," Carson replied with a tired but genuine smile. "She's outta the woods now."

John gave a huge sigh of relief. It felt as if a giant weight had just been lifted from his body. _Elizabeth's going to be okay_. That thought alone filled him up with happiness, and for a moment all was right with the world. Then, he caught a glimpse of Carson's knowing grin, and his heart sunk back to reality. "That's great," John stated, trying to sound like the stoic and supportive leader he should be at times like these. "I mean, it's great that she's going to be okay."

Carson rolled his eyes in amusement. "Don't try ta clown ye way out of this one, laddie. I _saw_ the look on ye face when you heard she was going to be alright." After a moment, Carson added, "however, we do have a small problem."

John's face fell, and the color drained from it. Alarmed, Carson firmly pushed John into a chair and quickly explained. "Elizabeth'll be fine lad! Really! The only small problem is that she needs to let her lungs rest. She just needs a few weeks off; strictly one week of bed rest."

John heard that and grimaced. He had a feeling that Carson was preparing to ask him to undertake something big; namely, helping him keep Elizabeth on bed rest. However, both Carson and John knew that keeping Elizabeth on bed rest would be like keeping a wild horse locked up in a barn. After all, she hadn't allowed herself to take a rest for the three years since they got to Atlantis, so why would she allow herself to take a rest now?. In fact, John couldn't ever remember seeing her take one day off. "She'll never go for it," John stated.

"Well, she'll have ta go for it, or her lungs could be permanently damaged. And that's where you come in lad. You've got to take over her responsibilities, of course. But you also have to help me make sure she stays in bed."

John glanced at Carson, confusion settling on his features. "And how do you suggest I do that?" he asked.

Carson yawned and shrugged. "Elizabeth will listen to you, lad. In fact, I think sometimes you are the only one she'll ever listen to."

John frowned for a moment, too tired to puzzle out the details. "When are you going to release her?" he asked.

"Tomorra afternoon," Carson replied.

John nodded. "Good. I'll have a plan by then."

oOo

Lantean e-mail was a remarkable tool. Before he had gone to bed the night before, John had typed up a quick e-mail asking if a few people would like to volunteer to keep Weir company for an hour during the week. John set it up so that one person would be visiting with her in the morning, and another would be visiting in the afternoon. John intended to visit with her over dinner (though it would be a rather early dinner due to his storytelling), leaving extra time for her to sleep (she definitely needed it)...

What he didn't expect was a completely finished schedule when he woke up. He looked at his watch in surprise, thinking he must have slept the better part of a day if such a feat was accomplished... and noticed it was still fairly early. "When do people sleep around here?" he wondered to himself as he perused the schedule. "Rodney (oh Elizabeth'll just love an hour with him), Teyla, Katie Brown, Lorne, Zelenka, and Georgiana Tucker (is she new?). Sounds like Elizabeth will have enough visitors to keep her entertained."

John's radio clicked just then, Lorne interrupting his thoughts with a hesitant, "Colonel Sheppard?"

John frowned, disliking the tone in Lorne's voice. "Go ahead."

"Sir, I think you better come down to Rodney's lab. There is... a problem that needs sorting out."

oOo

Teyla smiled as she sat on the small hill overlooking her village. The sun was high in a cloudless brilliant blue sky, and the air was cool, crisp, and smelled of the sea. In the village below, several children ran about playing games and causing a ruckus. Normally, Athosian children were much quieter and serious (they had to be to survive in the world they lived in). Yet the night was the fourth night, the night dedicated to the children. And as such, the children were given a day just to play.

Many of them had gotten new toys that morning, and those that didn't get something new shared their bounty with the others less fortunate. The result was a happy and healthy pack of children almost dancing around the village, and all the adults set up seats in front of their tents just so they could watch (and possibly absorb some of the energy).

"They're cute," Ronon commented behind Teyla, making her jump.

"Ronon, I didn't realize you were there!"

Ronon shrugged. "I walk quiet. I just came up."

Teyla smiled at him and motioned for him to join her on the ledge looking over the village. Ronon edged down next to her, and the two sat for several minutes watching the children play in quiet contentment.

"Did you ever play like that as a child?" asked Teyla.

"No," Ronon said shortly.

Teyla frowned. "What did you do then?"

Ronon grinned, "Learned to track and hunt. We start the Academy at eight, so you have to know how to take care of yourself by six or seven."

"The academy?"

"Training for battle. All able-bodied kids go to learn war. Unless you are a healer, that is. But not too many kids start off as healers."

Teyla nodded, turning her face slightly so he would not see the surprised look that went with it. It shouldn't have been strange to Teyla that other cultures in the Pegasus galaxy raised their children different ways... but at least in Athosian culture a child became an adult in a rite of passage when they were seventeen or eighteen, not eight. And they could choose whether or not they wanted to be fighters.

"When did you go into your first battle?" Teyla asked carefully.

"I had my first kill at twelve."

Teyla nodded slowly and resolved to put the conversation away all together. Ronon did not press it.

"It's nice to see the kids play," Ronon commented gruffly after a moment. "It's what I think the world would look like if there was no Wraith."

Teyla smiled. "That is why we have this day for the kids. It is a symbol, to give us hope for the future."

Ronon nodded, then slowly asked. "Do you ever... think about having kids of your own?"

The question surprised Teyla (doubly so, coming from Ronon), but she answered it from her heart. "I would like a child of my own," she said quietly. "But I don't know if I'd want to raise them in this world. Fear is the only certainty we have here."

Ronon nodded slightly, agreeing. "But there is always hope that we'll defeat the Wraith, right?" he stated.

Teyla smiled. "Now more than ever," she agreed.

Ronon looked again towards the children playing. "I asked Beckett what Christmas was all about," he said after a moment. "He said it is a birthday celebration for God's Son, when He sent Him to save the world."

Teyla looked at Ronon in surprise, then broke out a slow grin. "It's fitting that a child should save the world."

"Yeah," Ronon agreed.

oOo

John was very close to murdering Rodney. So was Zelenka. After Rodney's experience with ultimate power, it became a well-known fact that Zelenka was prone to be caught up in power surges. Today was no different. Rodney's so called power device exploded when he tried to activate it (he didn't want to wait two weeks for Weir to help him finish the translations on the device), but instead of incinerating his lab, the energy backfired into a strange phenomenon that caught Zelenka just as he was trying to escape through the door. It somehow acted like a force field that adhered Zelenka not to a wall, but to the _ceiling_ of the lab. Zelenka had been hanging there for the better part of the day before Rodney finally found a way to negate the energy.

John still had no idea why Rodney wanted him there. True, he was useful as a sounding board. But he sided with Zelenka on this offense, and in return Rodney did nothing but complain for a solid five hours. Finally fed-up, John marched to the canteen, grabbed a lemon from the cook, and threatened Rodney at lemon-point. Things got a little better from then on.

Finally, Rodney got Zelenka off the ceiling, and the two shut the lab down for the day. John had ordered both of them to come to the evening's story-telling so he could keep an eye on them, and they hurried off to eat a late lunch so they wouldn't be too hungry at dinner (Rodney's dislike for Athosian cuisine was legendary).

After that crisis was averted, John headed to the infirmarary. He promised Carson he'd help get Elizabeth to her quarters that afternoon, and when he got there he saw that Elizabeth was not only awake, but dressed and ready to go. It was the first time that John had seen Elizabeth awake since the day she collapsed, and he couldn't keep from smiling. She still looked pale though, and seemed even thinner.

Elizabeth gave John a sheepish smile as he strolled towards her. "John," she whispered hoarsely, her voice still suffering the effects of a breathing tube, "I'm sorry about the other day... what I said about you and Teyla."

John shook his head, "It's nothing to apologize over, Elizabeth," he stated. "In fact, I should be apologizing to you. I kept using your apparent tiredness to get my way around here... and I didn't even notice you were sick."

Elizabeth shrugged. "I didn't notice either," she whispered ruefully.

John grinned. "Truce?" he asked.

"Truce," Elizabeth replied.

Carson walked in with a wheelchair. "Glad you two made up," he said with a happy smile. "Now get yourself to your quarters to bed," he ordered Elizabeth.

Elizabeth slowly got off the bed and eased herself into the wheelchair, trying not to wince as her movements jarred her sore lungs. When she was seated, John grabbed the bars of the chair and began to push Elizabeth quickly out the door. "Lets get out of here before he tries to give you another shot!" John shouted exaggeratingly.

Carson rolled his eyes and shouted out, "You take care of her, laddie! And mind you go slow!"

John slowed down and whispered in Elizabeth's ear, "Killjoy." Elizabeth chuckled, then held her ribs in with a wince, making John sober. The rest of the journey was made slowly and smoothly.

By the time they got to Elizabeth's quarters, she had already nodded off. Carson had given her a dose of some sleep aide in hopes that she would relax without the pain. John didn't want to wake her, and so he gently picked her up out of the chair, carried her through the door, and eased her down onto her bed. He made sure she was comfortable, spreading a blanket over her before he snuck out.

Lorne was in the hall, grinning from ear to ear. Apparently he had seen the whole thing.

"Shut up," John ordered after a moment, and Lorne just shook his head amused as John resumed walking down the hall.

oOo

There were many more Lanteans that came on the fourth night. For one, the war games had left many of the military personnel "dead," and the celebration at the mainland was a delightful diversion. More scientists were there because John had commanded Rodney and Zelenka both come. This left both of their departments scrambling for something to do, so many of them came as well. Still others had heard of the beautiful singing they missed on Third Night, and were determined not to miss out on anything else. In that aspect they were disappointed somewhat; the celebration for the children happened during the day; John's story was to be the capstone of the evening.

However upstaged by the last night's singing, John had in mind a story piece woven from the events of the day that he had clownified on his way in the jumper. All the people were there whose expressions' he wanted to see during his story (including Teyla and Ronon, who were to be traveling back on the jumper that evening), and he practically leaped on the platform when Halling called him to begin the night's story.

"When we last left off," John began, "the Dark Knight had been trying to get his buddies to walk on the main road toward Pennywise's keep. After all, they looked like clowns! Why not act as if it were their territory too?"

"Though Bones and Meredith were against the idea at the start, they had no better suggestions, and by afternoon the four were approaching a strange-looking town. In the center of the town was a worn-out red circus tent, but around the tent was situated a group of dwellings called... trailers."

"'That is odd,' the Dark Knight remarked. 'Clowns don't generally live in trailers. Just tents.'"

"'I have a bad feeling about this place,' remarked Bones."

"'You do? Okay, let's leave,' Meredith stated."

"'Hush!,' shushed the Silver Knight. 'Someone is coming!'"

"It was useless for them to hide, since the bright garish clown costumes could be seen from miles away, and the gray land here was particularly flat. So the four stood up tall and moved themselves into battle position."

"Out from the trailers came a tall, gangly... creature. In fact, no one was sure what it was for a moment. It wore the gaudy outfits of the clowns, had a red ball nose, and it's hair was wild, yet it had the face of a human, not a clown. Suddenly, the Silver Knight began to growl."

"'Clown worshipper,' he spat fiercely."

"'What is he?' asked the Dark Knight.

"The Silver Knight shook his head. 'They are known as Junior Clowns,' the Silver Knight explained. 'They help the Clowns do their dirty work... in the hopes that one day they will be chosen to become Clowns themselves.'"

"'You mean, they are human?'"

"'At the moment.'"

"The Junior Clown came closer, slowing as he reached the four. He moved in a strange way; rolling his shoulders as he walked as if he was loosely disjointed. He stopped a couple of feet from the group, just out of arm's reach. 'What is your troupe?' he asked."

"'What?' queried the Dark Knight.

"'Whose troupe do you belong to?' the Junior Clown asked again. 'Your markings are unfamiliar to me. You are not of any of the troupes here; I would know.'"

"'Who are you?'" shot back the Silver Knight.

"'My name is Zelen (Zelenka's eyes popped open in surprise as Rodney mockingly whispered, 'oh, look, Sheppard made you a bad guy'), and I am the head of the Junior Clowns. Troupe of Bozo the Clown. We do parties. And I ask yet again, whose troupe do you belong to?'"

"'That's none of your concern,' the Silver Knight stated fiercely."

"'We are on a mission from our boss... concerning Pennywise,' the Dark Knight stated. 'How much further till we reach his tents?'"

"Zelen smiled an evil smile. Out from his baggy pants he pulled a switchblade knife. (Ronon chuckled at this; one of the airmen at Atlantis used to be a gangster before he turned his life around... and he showed Ronon the wonders of that particular knife. Ronon greatly admired it.) The four tensed. 'Obviously that was the wrong answer,' Meredith muttered."

"'You are very close to Pennywise's Tents,' Zelen said, casually swinging the knife open and shut. 'The only question is... would you like to go together or in pieces?'"

"'You think you can take us?' sneered the Silver Knight."

"Zelen suddenly laughed a loud and creepy clown chuckle. Then, as if in answer to his laugh, the ground in front of the four began to move. A small mountain of gray seemed to rise up around Zelen, shielding him for a moment from the four's vision. The four backed up several yards, watching the growing ground in confusion. Then, the gray wall began to break apart into a tangle of... arms and legs. Suddenly, the four saw that what had seemed to be more gray ground in front of them was actually a mound of people dressed from head to toe in gray camouflage suits. They turned their faces towards the four, and suddenly the Dark Knight saw them for what they were."

"'Oh, no!' he wailed in despair. 'MIMES!'" (The expedition members held back laughter, while the Athosians tried to decide if they should think this funny or frightening.)

"The solid wall of white faced, gray clad mimes began to shake their fingers at the four in unison, as if to say, 'no no no.' Then, each pulled from their suit a switchblade."

"'Can we run now?' asked Meredith."

"'Not yet!' the Dark Knight shouted in defiance. 'We still have one trick up our sleeve! Meredith, go ahead and use your magic!'"

"'What! Um, hello, no!'"

"'You said you could do it!'"

"'Yeah, well that was when there was no pressure.'"

"'You always work better under pressure!'"

"'Oh, sure. You have a problem and it's always up to me to save you from it. If I weren't here...'"

"'If you keep talking, none of us will be here. So use the damn Force, Meredith!'"

"Zelen had obviously had enough of their clowning around. 'Alright, my mimes. Go at them! Spare nothing.'"

"Meredith closed his eyes and lifted his arms to the sky. 'Abracadabra,' he cried as the mimes began their charge. 'Lightningo Terrifyingo!' (McKay paled, and it was Zelenka's turn to tease. But to his credit, he only dealt Rodney one jab and left it at that.)"

"The clouds exploded with a bolt that shot down and did a direct hit... on Bones.

"He fell to the ground like he had been hit with a twenty pound sandbag. Meredith screeched in surprise, while at the same time lifting his hands up high and saying, 'I didn't mean to do it! Bones, can you hear me?'"

"The Dark Knight was going to shout something terrible about Lore-Masters that electrocuted their own people, but he didn't have any time; the mimes were upon them. The Dark Knight and the Silver Knight fought bravely, while a humiliated and worried Meredith dragged Bone's body out of the fray." (During this time, John really got into his story, jumping and slinging his arms as though he was fighting a real enemy. The Athosian cape he wore flicked around as he moved, the glass glinting in the light giving the impression of flying daggers. Everyone watched transfixed; it was as if John were performing an intricate dance as he acted out his battle scenes.) "Though the two knights fought well, their strength began to ebb as the mimes overwhelmed them; there were just too many! And then..."

"Out from the hills a gray-cloaked figure leapt into battle, crying a war cry that was very familiar. Both knights stopped fighting for a second when they recognized the cry; their Queen Tala had entered the fight! In truth, Queen Tala saved their lives, for not only did she kill many of the mimes off, but her very presence spurred her knights to do better than they were doing (see, they _had _to protect the Queen). Even with their switchblades, the mimes gained no ground against Tala and her famous silver clown-killing sword. Soon, all the mimes had (either dropping in battle or dropping to escape) disappeared back into the blood-mottled ground, and Zelen had turned around and run.

"I'll be back!" he shouted over his shoulder, the words laced with malice. "And then, I'll terminate you!"

"Just try it!" Queen Tala shouted after him. "We will be waiting for you."

"She then turned to her people, who were looking a sorry state. Meredith was hunched over Bones, looking like the world had ended. The Dark Knight was bleeding from a cut over his eye, and even the Silver Knight looked winded."

"'Didn't we tell you to stay out of this?' the Dark Knight yelled."

"Queen Tala held her head up high. 'What if I did?' she huffed. 'You'd all be Spam by now if I hadn't have stopped those creatures. Fried spam, in your case,' she admonished as she turned towards Meredith."

"Meredith was too worried about Bones to respond to Queen Tala's rebuke. He pressed his head to Bone's chest in a desperate move to hear his heart. 'I don't know if he's going to make it. Listen! He's having trouble breathing and I don't know what to do and he's the doctor and he's the only one who knows how to fix him and...'"

"Be quiet!" Queen Tala ordered. Everyone stilled, and Tala bent over Bones. 'Bones, can you hear me?' she asked gently."

"Bone's eyes popped open, and he looked at Tala and whispered, 'Get. Him. Off. Me!'"

"'Oh, sorry!'" Meredith jumped up, and Bones took an enormous gasp of air.

"'Are you alright?'" the Queen asked.

"'I'll be fine, now that I'm not being suffocated anymore.'"

"'The lightning didn't... burn you?'" asked Meredith in awe.

"'Dinna even scratch the surface, I think. Gee Meredith, your spells need work!'"

(Rodney had been scowling through this entire exchange, and now he was near to growling. But to his credit, he did not _say_ anything during John's performance, nor after. John's stories had inadvertently given him an outsider's view of how other people perceived him, and there were some things he disliked about himself that he hadn't noticed before.)

"Meredith eased Bones up into a sitting position. 'Alright, it ended well this time,' the Dark Knight stated. 'But now you've had your fun, my Queen, and you need to go. We can't make any progress if we have to worry for your safety too."

"No.' Queen Tala stated firmly. 'I am going with you. Queen Beth the sister of my heart, and I will travel to the end of the world to rescue her if necessary.' Then, her eyes took on a deadly glint as she addressed the Dark Knight. 'I am going,' she said, determined. 'If you want to stop me, you will have to fight me.'"

"The Dark Knight shook his head. 'I will not fight you,' he said quietly.

"'Then we are agreed,' Queen Tala finished. 'Now, Bones, if you can move... let's try to put some miles between this place and us before dark. We still have a lot of travel to do before we reach Pennywise's keep.'

"'That's my girl,' the Silver Knight whispered to the Dark Knight as Queen Tala began walking down the road. Everyone else fell in line, and after a few minutes, everyone was as at ease as they could get traveling through clown country. If only they had known that the world would erupt in chaos, starting... at dusk tomorrow."

When the story was over, the children cheered and the adults applauded loudly. Every family then began hustling their children out the cave entrance; it had been a long day and everyone was beat. Even the Lanteans themselves were tired; not many stayed to talk and as soon as John had changed everyone was ready to leave. The jumper flight back was uneventful, and when they finally landed everyone immediately split company. John felt like he was dead on his feet, but he still took a moment to check on Elizabeth. She was sleeping soundly and her breathing was clear, which was a relief. John left her cabin with his spirits high; for the first time in days, he felt completely and totally at peace.


	6. The Fifth Night

**Author's note: **Hey all! Next chapter's up! Hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it, and thanks for all the reviews!

**Disclaimer: **I have so many offside's to so many different realms of TV, book, and movie. Just know: I don't own any of them!

The Fifth Night

Elizabeth woke up with the morning light streaming through her room's window. She had never noticed before how the light filtered in; every Lantean window was made up of different kinds of clear crystal so that the window _appeared_ like glass. However, when the light hit the window at just the right angles, different colors leaped from the slatted crystals like light through a prism. It had a lovely effect on the room, brightening up the gray-bronze-teal utilitarian interior decor. Elizabeth watched it contentedly for a while, happy not to move. She felt extremely comfortable; she was neither too hot nor too cold, and her bed felt almost like a cloud. She snuggled deeper into her covers and sighed... then winced as the deep intake of breath that felt like a million pins had just jabbed her airways. She was focusing on shallower breathing when her door chimed.

"Come in," Elizabeth called, wincing again when her lungs twinged.

"Morning!" Sheppard entered her room carrying a tray of food. "Got some breakfast for you."

Elizabeth smiled at John, then sat up. She moved too quickly though, and her head swam. She blinked back the dizziness, and the world finally came back into focus. John had set her tray down on a table nearby and had sat down on the edge of her bed, holding her upright.

"Are you alright?" John asked, his worried hazel eyes meeting her green ones. "You faded out there for a moment."

"I'm fine," she muttered, feeling like an idiot. Man, she hated feeling helpless! "Must be the meds Carson has me on."

John looked away and grinned; that sounded like his Elizabeth. "Must be," he replied mildly.

After a couple of moments, Elizabeth's brain fully registered that she was practically lying in the arms of her second in command. Her face turned red as a beet in embarrassment, though to her surprise John didn't seem to find this... awkward. Elizabeth squirmed, then broke the silence by asking, "what time is it?"

John looked at his watch and answered, "08:00. Oh, I've got to hurry; I've a mission briefing in a half hour." He then slowly eased out from behind Elizabeth and began busying himself with her tray.

"A mission briefing? I thought we were on stand-down for Christmas."

"We are," John replied. "Teyla wants to use the gate to accomplish a trade mission today. There's a special ceremony tonight honoring the elders; it happens every fifth-night, and Teyla needs some supplies. Supposedly they do this thing every year, and the people they trade with are ready for them."

Elizabeth nodded in comprehension. John brought her tray over to her, a small grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Your breakfast, my lady."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes playfully and studied the contents of the tray. There was a big cup of medication (Carson must have had a field day in the pharmacy that morning), as well as a fruit cup and a bowl of what _appeared_ to be oatmeal. Though it was akin to hospital food, the cook at the commissary always tried to add something extra special to make up for the lack of home cooking. "Cinnamon oatmeal," Elizabeth said after a moment. "The cook seems to be favoring that spice lately."

"It's because it's Christmas," John remarked. "And besides, it's the only spice he ever seems to use. I _shudder_ to see what spices he'll use once his cinnamon supplies run out!"

Elizabeth grinned. "Maybe we'll have to go on a trading mission to get some more."

"Maybe. But Rodney wouldn't go for it; he can't stand for what the Pegasus galaxy passes as cinnamon. Oh, and that reminds me; Rodney should be visiting you in a couple of hours."

"Really?"

"Yep. I've made you a schedule of morning and afternoon visitors for each day, so that you don't get bored. Remember, you are on bed rest. You are not allowed to get out of bed for anything!"

Elizabeth scowled. "John, you don't have to treat me like a child! I know what bed rest is. Besides, there are _some_ things I'll have to get out of bed for!"

John grinned his impish smile. "Granted," he said mischievously, "but you don't leave this room. Remember, I have eyes everywhere... and I'll know if you do!" He then turned and walked out the door, leaving Elizabeth with a tray full of oatmeal and a pile of pills.

"Thanks for the breakfast," Elizabeth called after him, and John grinned again. He was so happy Elizabeth was feeling better that he did not know how he'd be able to keep his face neutral throughout the day.

oOo

The next encounter with Teyla grounded John a bit. The mission briefing had gone fine, and in ten minutes Teyla and Ronon were off-world, visiting the Seren people. A scant ten minutes later they had returned, Teyla looking extremely upset and Ronon looking... well, like Ronon.

"What happened?" asked Sheppard curiously.

"Major Sheppard, they do not have our supplies," Teyla said with a scowl. "In fact, they sold our order to the Geni, of all people!"

John nodded sympathetically, and racked his brain trying to think of what Teyla had gone off-world for. He knew it had been said in the mission briefing, but he couldn't remember what she had wanted. He didn't know how Elizabeth had done it all these years. How on earth did she keep everything straight?

"You had gone for..." John began lamely.

"Terrinian Fruit! Don't you remember! Terrinian Fruit is needed for tonight; we always gift our elders with it. It is a way to let them know we love them; since there are so few of them, the gesture is always respected. And now our crate of fruit was sold!"

John blinked, feeling a little out of the loop. "Can't you buy it someplace else?"

Teyla's eyes narrowed in range. Ronon shook his head and answered back, "Usually, it's reserved for royalty."

Teyla scowled. "We give Serenans a portion of our furs in return for a crate of this fruit; it is grown only on Seren. How dare they sell it to the Geni! They have broken a pact going back for generations!"

John frowned. "Did they tell you why they sold it?" he asked.

Teyla looked as if she were contemplating murder. "They said it was because the Geni demanded it of them, and they knew if they were to tell them they were selling it to Lanteans they wouldn't get paid for it. So they sold all they had. Or so they say; Serenans always lie for better prices anyway." Teyla suddenly blinked, as if an epiphany had come to her. "Say, isn't Elizabeth a negotiator?" she asked.

"NO!" John exclaimed forcefully. "Don't even go there!"

Teyla drew back for a minute, startled by his outburst. "My apologies; I was not thinking at the moment," she stated softly. "It's just that this fruit is symbolic to my people; it's a sign that we respect our elders and we give them the best we can offer."

John nodded in understanding, his hackles smoothing. Teyla had not meant anything mean by her statement; she was just concerned for her people. Like usual. John sighed and studied the face before him. Teyla. She was such a flexible person; always willing to make do with whatever could be found. Would she make a concession for this as well? John sighed and thought hard. What could his world offer hers? And then suddenly, and idea came to mind.

oOo

"It was once only allowed to be eaten by royalty," John stated holding up a raw pineapple. He was pleased with himself; he may not be able to remember a trading mission briefing, but he could remember the facts of a Dole pineapple commercial. "It's the official fruit of welcome, and plays a unique part in our culture back home."

Teyla picked up the fruit and sniffed it experimentally. "It smells nice," she said after a moment. "May I ask how you acquired this fruit?"

"The last time the Dadelus came by, they brought supplies for Christmas dinner. Usually, ham and pineapple are cooked together."

Teyla frowned slightly. "Won't I then be taking this away from your people?" she asked.

John frowned slightly. "How many elders do your people have?"

"Three."

"Three! No worries then, here!" John hefted two more pineapples through the air; Ronon caught them deftly. "The cook'll never notice they are gone!"

oOo

True to John's word, Rodney appeared at ten o'clock sharp. "Hi, Elizabeth," he stated, walking through her door as if doorbells hadn't been invented. "Ready to begin?"

"Begin what?" Elizabeth asked a little breathless. She had taken a shower between breakfast and Rodney's arrival, and had barely had time to get dressed. Lesser oxygen intake was not an asset when one was trying to hurry.

"Begin a rudimentary study of Advanced Calculus," Rodney replied.

Weir blinked.

Rodney put several books down on the corner of her bed and pulled through her door a whiteboard on wheels; not unlike the ones that adorned all the labs. "You are always saying that you are interested in our work and want to know more about it. Well, here is your chance! I've decided to give you a basic beginners course, and I hope it is not too elementary; I hardly ever know where to begin when teaching but I am figuring you took all the basic maths and have the foundation to go deeper... so if we hit something you've already seen, just let me know."

Weir blinked again. Though she was the expedition head, she was a linguist, a negotiator, and a political scientist; not a mathematician. The highest math she had ever gotten to was pre-calc in college... and that was a long time ago. But Rodney looked so excited... that Elizabeth didn't have the heart to stop him.

Rodney took Elizabeth's silence to mean she was listening. He turned to write on the whiteboard an equation that had more letters in it than numbers. "It's great, isn't it?" Rodney stated after a moment. "This is a beauty of a problem!"

Elizabeth nodded in agreement at Rodney's quick over-the-shoulder glance, then yawned. She was very tired; Carson must have put some sleeping pills in with her medication or something, just to ensure she stayed where she was meant to be. Either that, or her body was damaged more than she thought it was. "I'll close my eyes for just a moment," she thought to herself as Rodney hammered out the equation. "I don't think he'll notice... or if he does, he'll just wake me up with an indignant, 'hey!'." With that, Elizabeth slipped into sleep.

She woke up to Rodney's droning voice, and sat up slowly. Apparently Rodney hadn't even noticed her inattention. However, the white board was covered in equations, much more than she had seen before she nodded off. Elizabeth frowned in confusion and checked the time, running her thumb over her most prized possession; her father's pocket watch.

_Forty-five _minutes! She had been asleep for forty-five minutes, and Rodney had not even noticed she had not been paying attention? "Rodney?" she called out.

Rodney turned, his face screwed up in concentration. "Hm? Did I loose you some steps in the progression? Which part do you need me to go back to?"

"He has to be joking," thought Elizabeth. Had he not noticed? "Rodney, it's almost eleven."

Rodney blinked and looked at his watch. "Wow, so it is! You know, time just flies when you are teaching! I used to hate teaching when they made me back at the university, but you are an excellent student. You got everything I put up there; not once did you even ask a question! Have you ever considered getting a degree in mathematics?"

Elizabeth smiled weakly. "I think I'll just stay with the job I've got now."

Rodney nodded and began to erase the board. "Whoever knew that I'd be surrounded by such secret math geeks?" he queried. "You, Sheppard... why, if the two of you had kids, they'd be math geniuses. Ah well, got to run! Feel better, Elizabeth!"

Elizabeth watched Rodney's retreating back with relief. She didn't know which to be worried about more; the fact that Rodney had gotten into such a zone that he shut out all that happened in the actual world or the fact that he though John and Elizabeth would have great kids.

oOo

Normally, Ronon sparred with John. But with John being kept busy with administrative duties, he had no one to fight with, and so he was stuck in an empty gym beating a punching bag with a stick. The war games were still going on, but Ronon hadn't joined them at the beginning. He normally would have, but he wanted to spend his time (as much as he could of it, anyway) around Teyla.

Teyla. Such a beautiful woman! Ronon had mixed feelings about her. On one hand, every time he wanted to see her he wanted to tell her how much he cared about her. On the other hand, he wanted her to be settled with John. He knew how strange that sounded, but in his mind he was still a runner. Runners were the definition of loneliness. They traveled with no one. If Teyla settled with John, she would be safe. She would have two peoples; both hers and John's. She would become an honored member of Atlantis, more honored than she already was. And Ronon knew John would always protect her, no matter what. If she ended up with Ronon... there was nothing.

Ronon gave out a savage yell and vented out his frustrations on the bag. "Who am I, anyway," he thought angrily. "The Wraith have taken away my identity! I have no people, no home, nothing to offer her. She should end up with John, she should be safe... I am nothing but a dead line." The last beat was extra hard, snapping the fighting stick in half. Ronon threw the pieces on the floor, frustrated, and moved towards the showers. He didn't want to spar anymore.

oOo

Elizabeth's afternoon went by much better with Teyla. She had brought in some Athosian tea to share, and soon the girls were leisurely sipping the slightly spicy brew and gossiping. Teyla knew all the good scuttlebutt; who was dating who, which person needed a special pep talk, which person needed an extra kick in the pants. Everyone talked to Teyla, making her not only a reliable source but a valuable one. Elizabeth smiled as she heard all the gossip, though the news sent a pang through her. She was always so busy with logistics, she had little time to notice the little things. Big things were always taken care of first, and if there was any extra time, little things came next. Often though, it was the little things that mattered more than the big things. Elizabeth just wished that she had more time to be more involved with her staff on a personal level, too. She hated being just "the boss."

"And that's the latest on who's making eyes at Lorne," Teyla finished up, smiling. "But you know who _he_ has eyes for."

Elizabeth nodded; even to her it was no secret that Lorne "had the hots" for Dr. Heightmeyer. "And what about you?" she asked, keeping her voice light. "Anyone you are scoping out?"

"Me?" Teyla said in surprise. "Well, there are many attractive men here..."

Elizabeth grinned evilly. "Anyone especially attractive?"

True to her culture, Teyla devoted a minute to think about the question. Elizabeth waited patiently. Teyla thought on all the men she knew in Atlantis; all of them had their good qualities. But as for apparent cuteness... well, John would have to have it for cuteness. But suddenly, a memory crossed Teyla's mind. Once, she and Ronon had been hiking through the underbrush on a mission. It was early morning. He had been walking a couple of meters in front of her and had just crested the top of a hill. The morning sun had caught him on the rise, illuminating his coffee-colored skin so that he shone like a statue made out of bronze. The sight of Ronon had taken away Teyla's breath then, and it took her breath away now.

Elizabeth watched as Teyla's face seemed to darken, though it was hard to tell. However, the expression that crossed her face was easy to see; Teyla was blushing. Elizabeth smiled. "Oh, there is someone!" she exclaimed playfully. "I knew it! Who is it?"

Teyla looked over at her and shook her head into her teacup. "It's a secret," she said playfully.

Elizabeth looked at Teyla intently. "Well, what are you going to do about it?"

"Do?" Teyla exclaimed. "Why, nothing of course. I don't even think he would feel any way at all for me... we're just friends."

Elizabeth nodded, though her face had fallen. "Is he someone you hang out with a lot?" she asked quietly.

Teyla smiled. "Who here isn't?" she said seriously. "But yes, we hang out a lot. He's... interesting. Different from everyone else, and yet... we get along. We get along quite well, actually. Sometimes, it's as if he can read my mind. And... Elizabeth, what's wrong?"

Elizabeth had put her tea down, and had been staring down at the pattern on her blanket. Teyla had caught a glimpse of the saddest expression she had ever seen on Elizabeth's face, but that expression lasted only a quick moment. Elizabeth's head popped up then, and she smiled. "Nothing's wrong. Just tired, I guess. I'm glad you've found someone," she said genuinely. "It's always good to have someone who can read your mind."

Teyla nodded in agreement, though she was perplexed. Was Elizabeth sad because she didn't have anyone who cared for her like that? If she felt like that, she was sorely mistaken. The entire base cared about her... and John Sheppard in particular. The mini-revelation made Teyla smile, and she said to Elizabeth, "if I'm not mistaken, you have someone as well."

Elizabeth glanced at Teyla, perplexed. "I do?"

Teyla grinned. "Most certainly," she replied, taking a careful sip of now cold tea, "but I'm not going to spoil it for you."

oOo

The night's festivities started out with a mini-parade march to the cave. All the elders of the village, three in this case, were put into cloth carrying chairs and were hoisted onto the shoulders of the stronger adults. The children ran before them with colored streamers, their jumping and twirling resembling waves of water. John followed near the end of the procession, resplendent once again in his storyteller robes. Though he was thoroughly enjoying the nine-nights celebration, the thought of not having to get dressed up every night in the hot heavy clothes appealed to him. He smiled as Lanteans and Athosians alike fell into line behind him talking and joking; the walk to the cave was probably the most fun part of fifth-night.

Once everyone was settled in their usual places, Teyla came forward and did the elder honor ceremony, which for the first time in Athosian history concluded with the "Presentation of the Pineapple." Teyla explained the significance of the fruit to her people, and after a short explanation on why the regular Terrinian fruit was not available, the elders accepted the gift as graciously as they would have if it had been the traditional gift (though it was also funny to note that the Lantean cook's face was twisted into a pained scowl). John waited until the elders and Teyla were once again seated, and then he stepped forward onto the platform. The stage torches were lit and the lamps extinguished, making him look once again otherworldly and alien. The cave silenced, everyone waiting for the best part of the evening with baited breath.

John began.

"Up to the arrival of Queen Tala, the four had thought the mission an easy retrieval. But as the four clown look-alikes and their gray-cloaked queen scouted out through the land, they realized that their plan would have to be adjusted. Pennywise's country was vast, even though it was wasteland. Circus after circus they passed, always keeping out of view from mimes and Junior clowns alike. In this way they traveled most of the day and the night. They were unwilling to rest; the howling and screaming of the wind through the twisted metal trees made sleeping impossible. They did rest near dawn however, in a little gray cove closed in by sand-colored rocks."

"By midmorning the following day they came to a vast tent city. 'What is this place?' asked Queen Tala."

"Meredith consulted his map. 'It's a clown city, my lady. It's name is 'Cirque de Soleil.' Pennywise's keep is said to be at the center of the city.'"

"'Great, right in the dragon's mouth,' muttered the Dark Knight. 'Well, I suppose it fits. We haven't had a stroke of luck since we began this quest. How shall we proceed, my lady?'"

"Queen Tala studied the layout of the city; from their vantage point atop a hill, they could see the entire city laid out before them. 'We will need a secret way to get into Pennywise's keep,' she stated after a moment."

"The Dark Knight laughed. 'Yeah, that would be ideal. But how are we going to find a secret passageway?'"

"Queen Tala exchanged glances with her Silver Knight. 'Well, we could always ask.'"

"Bones scowled. 'What do you mean, we can always ask? Ask who?'"

"Tala looked at the ground with something appearing shame, while the Silver Knight answered. 'We have a contact; a man from long before Pennywise's time. He was our inside informant in the Clown Wars; in exchange for information, we left him alone.'"

"'And you just think he's going to honor this agreement again?' fretted Meredith."

"The Silver Knight shrugged. 'So what if he doesn't? It's five against one.'"

"The Dark Knight nodded. 'Any information is better than none. What's this Joker's name?'"

"The Silver Knight grimaced. 'The Riddler.'"

('Oh help me!' groaned Rodney from the shelf of honor. Sheppard tried not to laugh while the Athosians shot him dagger looks.)

"The Riddler's tent was an all-green colored nightmare near the edge of Cirque de Soleil. It was covered in strange black markings that looked like shepherd's crooks with little dots beneath them. A purple tent flap waved ominously in the wind, almost as if to dare entry."

"'Holy heart-attack,' stammered Meredith. 'I'm not going in there!'"

"The Dark Knight scowled. 'I'll go,' he stated, annoyed with Meredith's sudden lack of courage."

"I will accompany you.' Queen Tala replied. 'Silver Knight, will you stand guard?' She then turned to face Meredith and Bones. 'If anything goes wrong, get out of here. Find a place to hide and make for the border with all possible haste; do you understand me?'"

"The men nodded. Queen Tala turned towards the Dark Knight, and the two slipped silently through the tent."

(John smiled as he saw the Athosian children's eyes grow big. Things were definitely getting interesting now!)

"Inside, it was almost as black as pitch. Some of the walls were painted with a phosphorescent paint in the same questionable pattern as outside, making them glow with a sick green light. A form sat in the corner, and two eyes glanced towards them, glowing almost as if they were cat eyes."

"'Riddle me this, riddle me that,' the creature called the Riddler said, his voice sounding like a high-pitched snake's. 'What must one answer to get the wishes of their heart?'"

"'Your riddles,' answered Queen Tala, as if that were the answer to a ceremonial opening."

"'Are you prepared to pay the price?' the Riddler queried from his corner."

"'The price is the same as it always has been.'"

"'We are not at war now. I demand more!'"

(Teyla smiled as this train of dialogue hit home. John was, in his own way, telling her people of the trouble she had faced that day. And he was doing it in such a way that made the Seren sound despicable... it was awesome!)

"'What do you demand?' asked the Queen"

"'What may be my hearts desire? You know that, don't you? A riddle, my Queen, a riddle. One that no one can answer. Then, only then, will I let you have your hearts desire... which is what, by the way?'"

"'Shoes, ships, sailing wax... the entrance into Pennywise's keep?'"

"'Why would you desire to go there? It's no fun; Pennywise won't riddle anyone. He doesn't play nice with others.'"

"Tala rolled her eyes. 'Get me a map into his fortress, and I promise you a riddle you won't be able to solve.'"

"The Riddler snorted. 'That's highly unlikely,' he scowled. 'I am a master riddler. But, for the chance to riddle once again, I will tell you... the only way in is to fly in.'"

"Tala frowned, and the Dark Knight growled, 'Do we look like birds to you? How are we supposed to fly in?'"

"'That's your concern, not mine. But if I were you I would try the cliffs near the Quidam river; you can find a lot of flies there!'"

"The Dark Knight scowled. "'Bah! Let's be gone from this fool; he's crazy.'"

"'Mad as a Hatter!' the Riddler called out crazily. "Or perhaps a Penguin! But my payment! I demand my due! I want my riddle!'"

"Queen Tala frowned. 'Do you know a good riddle?' she whispered to the Dark Knight."

"'You're asking me now?' he exclaimed."

"The Riddler stood, his hands flying towards what appeared to be a large hook. 'Tell me a riddle now, or I will hang you over a vat of boiling acid!"

"Suddenly, the tent flap opened, and Bones stepped in, looking remarkably calm."

"'Who are you?' the Riddler queried."

"'I'm the one who couldn't help overhearing. I have the Queen's riddle. Now, here is the riddle; I will give you the question and the answer!"

"The Riddler frowned. "'If it has an answer, then it is not as good a riddle that was promised me!"

"No, laddie, you misunderstand. The riddle is trying to figure out where the answer came from.'"

"The Riddler contemplated this for a moment, then nodded. 'This will be acceptable,' he stated at last. 'What is the riddle?'"

"Bones grinned. 'The riddle is: _what have I got in my pockets? _The answer is: _my precious! _Now tell me, if you can, what these two strings of words have to do with each other at all?'"

(All the Hobbit fans in the audience were beaming with appreciation.)

"The Riddler sat down to contemplate, and the Queen, Bones, and the Dark Knight made good their escape. 'Where did you learn to riddle like that?' asked Queen Tala."

"Bones merely grinned. 'T'was from a little friend I once had; he was only about yeah big. T'was his riddle.'"

"Meredith and the Silver Knight ran up to the three, and the Furious Five were complete. They began to walk back towards the gray hills in the distance. 'Where did he tell us to go?'" asked Meredith."

"'We are to go to the Quidam River,' answered Queen Tala. At the Dark Knight's dubious look, she answered back, 'I know the Riddler may seem crazy, but he has never been wrong before. If there is any secret way into Pennywise's keep, no matter how insane it seems, we have to try it."

"The Dark Knight nodded his assent, and the five began their walk to the Quidam river, the noon sun almost warm upon their backs."

"Meanwhile, Queen Beth was standing by a window staring out at the city below her. She had been locked in a tower room with nothing but a bed, a small table, and a full-length mirror; all the better to see her transformation in. She turned from the window and gazed at her reflection, terrified by what she saw. Already the clown serum had made her skin go deadly pale, making her look like a ghost, and her eyes held a sickly glower to them." (John stopped for a moment, his parallel storytelling conjuring up the memory of seeing Elizabeth passed out on her office floor. The break in his story lasted only a few seconds, yet Teyla caught the reason why. She wondered who else did as well.)

"Her hair was worst of all, though. It grew redder in color daily; not a nice red like hair ought to be, but the florescent red of melted cherry popsicles. It curled tighter too, and frizzed into an afro the likes of which are seen only seen in sixties TV shows. Thankfully, her teeth had not grown into fangs yet, nor had her hands taken on that clawed look. However, the most disturbing changes had taken place inside. Queen Beth still knew who she was, but that life seemed more and more to her like a dream. As if it weren't real. Even scarier was the fact that puns were now hilarious! Before, Beth had just rolled her eyes at puns. Now, it was as if they were the funniest things in the world. And worst of all... Beth had started to wonder if humans really tasted as good as everyone else believed they did. Every servant in the keep raved about the flavor of freshly caught human, and for the first time in her life Beth felt she was willing to try it."

"'NO!' she screamed in her mind as the desire to loose control, to let go, to give herself up to the clown came over her. 'NO! I will be rescued! I have to believe this! The Dark Knight will save me!' She turned her head fiercely away from the mirror and glanced back out onto the gray land. 'Dark Knight, hurry,' she thought uneasily. 'With all possible speed. For I think my time is running short; I feel as if the transformation will be complete... at dusk tomorrow.'"

The Athosians clapped, and all around there were polite well-wishes flung John's way. Rodney's outburst gained even more condemnation during this time. John himself was quite shocked; for the first time, Rodney seemed contrite! It was as if he actually cared that he had annoyed someone, as if he cared that he had spoiled the fun. Maybe there was hope for him yet. John didn't hold a grudge at him either, and by the time the jumper was packed back up Rodney was back to being his usual old self. John smiled as he piloted the jumper over the starry-night sea. His team was sitting closer together, Teyla and Ronon looked as if they were content just to be near each other. Rodney looked almost comfortable, and the rest of the scientist and soldier personnel were mingling, discussing life, the universe, and everything.

"Stories bring people together," Teyla stated as she caught John's pensive glance.

John grinned back at her. "They do indeed," he said quietly. "And it's a good thing to see."


	7. The Sixth Night

**Author's Note: **Still plugging away at it, never fear! Only have time to write on weekends, blah. Wish I could have more time... but I hear time travel is hard on the body. Oh well. Enjoy the next chapter! With any luck, we'll get through Christmas before February ends!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the rights Stargate Atlantis or any other story mentioned or parodied here.

The Sixth Night

It was a lovely morning. Carson Beckett sighed happily as he came into his office for work and found no one waiting to talk to him. "At last," he thought, "I can finally have a peaceful, relaxing day and get that pile of paperwork done!" He spoke too soon, however. For just as he had settled himself with a mug of coffee, a doughnut, and his first stack of files to sort through, John Sheppard came racing through the door.

"What's the matter?" Carson asked, adrenalin beginning to prep his 'response to emergency' phase.

Sheppard stopped briskly; he had beads of sweat forming on his head. He must have run a long way. After doing a quick formulation of distance in his mind, Carson thought he knew where John had been. Frowning, Carson had an idea of what John was going to say.

"Elizabeth's still looking pretty bad, doc, and I'm worried about her. She fell asleep on me at breakfast, and she still looks really pale. Are you sure she is alright?"

Carson sighed; if only the powers that be would make military personnel go through medical school too. But, if that were the case, there would be no need for doctors. Carson took a deep breath and said slowly, "She's fine, John."

John blinked. "Are you sure?"

Carson fought the urge to laugh. "Of course I'm sure! Colonel, as Rodney loves to point out, our bodies are rather advanced machines. I'd be surprised if Elizabeth was able to 'get up and go' yet."

John frowned. "I don't know... she's usually more spry."

Carson rolled his eyes. "Colonel, she was near death less than a week ago. Give her some time to recover, laddie!"

John looked a little placated, but he still felt worried. "I'll stop by and check her myself today, alright?" Carson had planned on having his intern perform the daily checks on Elizabeth. His intern had just come off the Dadelus. She was very bright, but young and lacked some confidence. Elizabeth liked her, though, and Carson thought that with some easy responsibilities, Intern Dr. Jennifer Keller would gain her footing.

John smiled at Carson. "Thanks, doc," he said after a moment. "What would we do without you?"

Carson grinned. "Probably do a lot more damage to yourselves in a shorter amount of time. Ye all live such charmed lives!" Carson's eyes narrowed then, a sly smile making him look like a benign blarney. "And John? If ye know what's good for your health, I'd suggest ye make sure ye go shopping for a Christmas present for Elizabeth. After all, ye're not going to impress a lady if ye forget her over Christmas day!"

The jibe worked! John quickly left the office, looking bashful and thoughtful at the same time. Carson watched him leave with a smile on his face, then sighed as he looked at the paperwork piles on his desk. "Duty calls," he mumbled.

oOo

Carson had just poised his hands over the keyboard to type his first report when in bounded Zelenka. "Am I NEVER gonna get ma work done today?" thought Carson in exasperation. What he really said was, "Hey, laddie, slow down. What do'ye need?"

Zelenka shook his head worriedly. "Doctor, I'm vorried about Rodney."

Carson's heart jumped. Rodney was the base's version of a 'natural disaster,' in that he seemed to wreck havoc everywhere he went. Besides that (and against all odds), he was also Carson's best friend. "Alright, what happened? I don't see him with ye."

Zelenka frowned. "Vhy should he have come vith me?"

Carson gave Zelenka the 'well then?' look. Zelenka was a brilliant scientist, but sometimes he could be so scatterbrained. "Why are ye worried about Rodney then?" he asked slowly.

Zelenka sighed. "Rodney shocked his hand this morning. I vas prepared to be yelled at, but instead he said, 'sorry, my bad!'"

It took all Carson's control not to say something snarky. Apparently, he had been hanging around Rodney too long! "That it?" asked Carson.

"Not yet! Rodney said 'thank you' a few minutes later, and vhen I asked him if he needed anything to eat, he said he vasn't hungry. Vhat is the deal; usually Rodney is always hungry?'"

"So what do you think?" asked Carson, becoming more interested in spite of himself. This did not sound like Rodney.

"Vhat do I think? Either the shock transferred another person into him, or he's being transformed into another alien technology, or... there are a thousand-and-one possibilities!"

Carson nodded, wondering himself just what Rodney was up to. He knew Rodney much better than Zelenka did; if Rodney even suspected he was slightly injured, he'd have come running. The man's rampant hypochondria was legendary. Given that, Zelenka did have call to be worried. And yet... Carson suspected something else. He put on his best 'kind doctor' face, reassured Zelenka, and promised to check on Rodney after he checked on Elizabeth. Zelenka made a hasty retreat, and Carson checked his watch. The few files he was planning on doing before he made a run to Elizabeth's room would just have to wait; he had no more time. Sighing, he began to pack up his medical bag.

oOo

John ran into Ronon and Teyla on his way to the gate room. Ronon was suited up in full gear, and Teyla shadowed him. Ronon looked like he had won the lottery, which was something to be said since you rarely could tell how Ronon was feeling. Teyla looked... very, very annoyed.

"Hey, where are you going?" John asked, curiously.

Teyla's eyes flashed. "You should know! You approved the mission!"

John blinked. "What mission?"

Teyla's eyes narrowed. "Your cook's mission! So says the cook: as comeuppance for our theft of the pineapples, we are now required to present to him three Christmas turkeys, whatever _they_ are!" John flinched at Teyla's tone, yet inside he was holding back a laugh. He also noticed in chagrin that karma had caught up with him; now he knew how Elizabeth had felt when he pulled the snow caper. "So, I take it you are going hunting then?" he asked.

Ronon grinned widely; now John knew why he was so happy. "We're going to Baln'tik. The planet there is a big grassland, full of game birds. Maybe not like turkeys, but they are good eating."

"The people there are also big traders," Teyla griped. "They won't let us hunt without a share in the game, so we have to kill five birds, not just three."

John grinned. "Well, how hard can that be?" he said with a grin.

Teyla and Ronon looked at each other incredulously, and Ronon's lips curled into a sly grin. "Why don't you come with us?" asked Teyla. "After all, there are no other missions today. And you should be helping us; the whole pineapple idea was _yours_ in the first place."

John nodded. "I think I will; let me inform Lorne. I'll be ready in twenty minutes." He walked briskly away.

"You're bad," Ronon said with a laugh.

Teyla smacked him playfully on the arm. "You are worse! You actually enjoy this sort of thing!"

"I'll enjoy what I'm going to see," laughed Ronon. "If only we could get Rodney to come."

Together, they burst out laughing. It felt so good to laugh!

oOo

"TSSAR!" screamed the Baln'tik bird as it soared out of the grass and into the sky.

John froze in amazement as the bird-lizard creature swept over his head. That _thing_ looked as if it had come from the annals of Arthurian legend mixed with some mutated animal created by Stephen King. It had a snake-like head that ended in a rather needle-like beak. The vibrant green on it's scales was accentuated by the midnight color of it's feathered wings, however each feather ended in a razor-sharp edge. Spines filled with poison daggered wickedly out of the creature's back, and it's whip-like tail lashed.

"You have _got _to be joking," John said flatly.

Ronon grinned. "Nope." he stated.

The bird flipped itself around in midair and began its descent toward the trio, powerful wings cutting through the air. Ronon stood as tall as he could and yelled at the top of his lungs. The bird-creature honed in on him.

"What are you doing?" John yelled over the bird's and Ronon's enraged screams. The bird was rapidly descending now, knife-sharp claws out. John pulled his gun and jumped forward, only to be tackled by Teyla.

"Wait and watch!" she hissed, and John watched in horror as the serpentine head stretched on its long neck, aiming for Ronon's jugular. Collision was imminent! Then, at the very last moment, Ronon lifted his arm and flicked his wrist. The movement confused the beast, and it turned its head to look. Ronon jumped nimbly out of the way, and the bird hit the ground with a thud, its outstretched neck snapping under the brunt of its weight.

Ronon looked at the dead bird, exhilarated. "You challenge them, and they will rush at you headfirst," he explained, eyes dancing. "Then, you step out of the way. Their neck snaps in the crash."

John felt surreal for a moment, like he was taking a 'how to survive in the Pegasus Galaxy 101 class.' "Why not just shoot it?" he asked.

Ronon walked over to the fallen creature, knife out. "You risk letting the poison into the meat that way," he explained. "Besides, it's more fun to kill the bird the traditional way."

John shook his head as he watched Ronon expertly clean and de-poison the creature. "This just brings a whole new level to the game 'chicken,'" he stated. "How do I bag one?"

oOo

While John, Teyla, and Ronon were getting in touch with their jungle-person instincts, Elizabeth Weir was experiencing a jungle of a different sort. Katie Brown had offered to stay with Elizabeth during the morning, and after a horrified look at Elizabeth's sparse quarters, she had begun what was later known as "The Great Plant Makeover."

"It's no wonder that you are ill!" she chided in horrified tones as Elizabeth shrugged helplessly, not knowing what to say. "Look at this space! It's atrocious! Absolutely no green of any kind! I tell you, you need plants to keep you healthy. They are nature's filters, and without them the human body does not function properly."

Elizabeth watched Katie with wide eyes. The woman was a very passionate botanist. Elizabeth had been grateful that Katie had loved her job so much, yet she was a little frightened all the same. Too much enthusiasm was at times scary. Unfortunately, Carson broke in halfway through Katie's rant. (Normally, this would have been thought of as a very fortunate break, but Carson's interruption gave Katie the few moments that she needed to head back to her lab and grab a cart full of plants and hooks.) As Carson followed up with Elizabeth, Katie arranged each plant in its own container, and as soon as Carson left she tackled Elizabeth's room with a vengeance. In the forty minutes they had left, Elizabeth's room had undergone a huge change. Katie hung spider-plants all over the walls (their vines stretching to entangle with each other), put potted trees in the corners, and had a blooming orchid on every flat surface, including in the shower. Aloes of various types burst from a window box, and on Elizabeth's nightstand a Pegasus flowering plant produced a vibrant mass of sky blue flowers. It was all very beautiful when it was said and done, and Elizabeth never forgot the kind intentions behind it, yet the act made her room almost unlivable in the days following. Humidity shot way up. In the Pegasus Galaxy plants seemed to grow faster, vines in particular. In the few days following, Elizabeth's room really did look like a jungle. It got to the point that people were afraid to go in her room after that; they were afraid the plants might eat them. And that is why weeks later, Elizabeth "accidentally" froze out her room. She was convinced it was the only way to stop them from taking over the base.

oOo

After Carson checked on Elizabeth, he headed down to Rodney's lab. It was nearing lunch time; perhaps his friend would be hungry now. He walked quietly into the lab and saw that his friend was hunched over a laptop, staring at a blueprint of some kind.

"What are ye looking at?" Carson asked.

Rodney looked up. "Oh, the Ancient power device."

Carson frowned. "The same one that..."

"... that got Zelenka on the ceiling? Yeah. Trying to work out what happened there."

"Ah. Well, d'ye want lunch?"

"Naw, I think I'll keep working here for a while."

Carson's eyes narrowed with worry. "Rodney, are ye alright? Ye never turn down a trip to the canteen. And now, with how ye're acting with your staff... it's disconcerting."

Rodney sighed. He put down the schematics and looked up at Carson. "I've been doing a lot of... thinking lately," he began heavily. "You see, I know that I don't always come across as a kind person. In fact... I come of like a jerk... a lot."

Carson frowned. "I wouldn't say that," he began, but Rodney cut him off. "Don't go there," Rodney said. "It's nice you want to spare my feelings, but this is something I've recently realized. I know you all love me; you said that the last time I was dying, remember! (That statement was directly for Carson's incredulous look.) Yet, I know I am often a petty man, and after hearing Sheppard's story... it kind of hurts, you know? I mean, I know that John is just being John. But I never heard how others view me, and I'm not a very favorable character in this story. In fact, I'm pretty pathetic. I always wanted to be more like John; the hero of my own story! And yet, I'm often the most pathetic person on the team and more often than not the villain of my own story." Rodney ended his dialogue with an expectant glance toward Carson's guarded face.

In truth, Carson didn't know what to say. He had always assumed that Rodney didn't care about what others thought about him; it was kind of a shock to find out that yes, he did care. It was also hard to think about how he could best help his friend; there were so many good points to Rodney. Yet, all Rodney ever saw were the bad points to himself. Carson winced; maybe they were all responsible for that tendency in him. And yet, most of the time Rodney did deserve what ribbing he got. It was just... hard to let him know when he was valued. So Carson did the only thing he could think of doing at the moment.

"Say," he began hesitantly, "I've got this weird glitch on me scanner-bed... it's no big deal, so I didn't want to bother ye with it, but if ye have time for a break I'd love it if ye could help me out. We could get lunch on the way... Normally, I wouldn't ask, but I'm so stupid when it comes to computers..."

Rodney's eyes lit up like Christmas lights. "Say no more, my friend! Help is on the way! I can always come back to this later; it's more important that we get the infirmary up and running. What else are you up to today? Do you mind if I reprogram the infirmary computers to make them more efficient? I've been trying to get you to run the program for weeks now, but something always comes up."

Carson took a deep sigh. "Paperwork be damned," he thought resigned. "Sure, we might as well," he said gamely. "We might as well make a day of it!"

oOo

Teyla, Ronon, and John trudged triumphantly back to the Baln'tik village, carrying five of the dressed birds on a pole between them. The chief met them with a cheer, and as they paid their two-bird fee, merchants swooped down on them like hawks.

"It's not often the people of Baln'tik get visitors," Teyla explained as the traders held up their wares desperately. "No one wants to come here if they don't have to; almost everything except the grass and the air is poison (or at least partially poison)."

John frowned as he watched a scruffy pack of kids play some sort of ball game near the tents. "How do they raise their children then?" he asked, bewildered.

"They put snakes in their cradles," Ronon stated. Teyla shot him a disapproving look, and Ronon shrugged. "That's what is said," he mumbled half-apologetically.

As the trio waded through the people on their way to the gate, John spied a merchant with a beautiful piece of fabric. He stopped to look at it, and the people around them grew louder, pressing their wares on Teyla and Ronon. The fabric turned out to be a warm, thick shawl. It was made from a thread very near silk in appearance, but with the durability of cotton and the warmth of wool. It was as smooth as velvet, and was woven in a pattern vaguely resembling something Celtic. The fabric was an interweave of many different shades of green, the lightest being a sun-lit leaf green, the darkest being a deep emerald. "How much for this?" John asked, and the bargaining began.

Half an hour later, John was the proud owner of the shawl and the merchant was the proud owner of John's combat watch. Teyla shook her head as John flung a fun-filled grin her way; Corporal Daniels, the equipment specialist, would have to issue him _another_ watch. This would be the fifth time she'd do that.

"What are you going to tell her happened this time?" asked Teyla.

John shrugged. "I'll think up something good," he replied.

oOo

Elizabeth's afternoon was far more pleasant than her morning had been, though it was clearly obvious she was no artist. Elizabeth had always appreciated art, but she knew she was no good at it. Lorne, however, thought everyone in the world could be artists if they wanted to be, and he had come to Elizabeth's room with that outlook and a box of paints, brushes, and canvas paper.

"There is nothing so relaxing as painting," he stated happily as he set up two easels; one for himself and one for Elizabeth. "And there's no better way to pass an empty hour."

Elizabeth could have argued with him on that, however she let herself relax and did the best she could. After all, no one would ever have to _see _her work. And Lorne had a calming disposition about him; one that made him a great teacher as well as a great soldier.

After they had painted together for a while, Lorne began to make conversation. He obviously had some hidden agenda, thought Elizabeth, for small talk was not in Lorne's nature, and his clumsy attempts to bring Sheppard up continuously made Elizabeth grin. If one did not know Evan Lorne, one would assume he thought John was the end-all hero! Everything was about how cool Sheppard was and how much he cared for the residents of the city, and after a while Elizabeth knew that if she had to hear anymore she'd burst out laughing. More serious a consideration was _why_ Lorne was going on like this. Elizabeth got that John was a great guy; maybe Lorne was being a good friend and vying for a promotion for him... yet that didn't make sense. Then suddenly, the truth hit Elizabeth like a train.

"Lorne _is_ being a good friend," Elizabeth realized. "He is prepping the girl for the guy to make his advance... just like high school. Oh my word, John _likes_ me!" And as juvenile as that thought seemed to be, it set well with Elizabeth. Everything that Teyla had said about her having a secret admirer, Lorne's one-hour hero worship monologue of John, it all fit. It was _she_ that John cared about so deeply, not Teyla. Suddenly, Elizabeth felt like panicking. In the last few moments her world had flipped, and she had no idea what to do.

oOo

John sighed contentedly as he piloted the jumper towards the mainland. Everyone in Atlantis seemed happy. With the addition of three "turkeys" to the Christmas feast, even the cook was happy. The jumper was packed full of Lanteans ready to hear the next piece of John's story (with the war games nearly over, John's story was once again prime entertainment). Rodney and Carson were bantering with each other, Teyla was leaning on Ronon's arm, and even Lorne had got up the courage to speak with Dr. Heightmeyer. ("It's all your fault," he told John later. "You inspired me to make my move. I advise you to do the same; I have a hunch Elizabeth already knows your best qualities." Whatever Lorne meant by that!) John was almost sorry when he had to set the jumper down for a landing, but everyone leaped out cheerfully enough. Christmas was just around the corner for them, and the holiday spirit was catching.

The Sixth Night was a dedication to the married couples, who were the backbone of Lantean civilization. It was rather difficult to understand Lantean social structure, though; John did not understand how family lines could be matrilineal and patralineal at the same time. Still, the name ceremony was interesting to watch; everyone's family line was chanted to the beat of a single drum, with the Athosian blessing "May your family never be devoured" said after each married couple was honored. The cold hard truth of the blessing sobered the Lanteans somewhat, and when John took to the stage, the air of celebration had changed to anticipation. The lights were put out, the torches lit, and John became the storyteller once again.

"Once the five had set their backs to the city of Cirque de Soliel, they made easy travel along the rocky cliffs to the Quidam River. Queen Tala never spoke, but she held her short sword at the ready. No one was sure of what attack they were excepting, but a vague sense of unease seemed to hang over them all, and everyone was prepared to fight. As afternoon melted into evening, the five turned the last corner and came upon the misty banks of the Quidam River."

"'I don't see anything here,' whined Meredith."

"'Let's just go back and try to sneak into the city with our clown disguises,' Bones advised."

"The Dark Knight frowned as they entered the misty region. He, Queen Tala, and the Silver Knight led the way, and soon the sounds of protest behind them ceased. After a half-hour of plugging away through the fog, the five came to the banks of the river."

"Black water, flowing like molten tar, oozed down the gray banks. 'I'll bet the fishing is really good here!' said Meredith sarcastically to Bones. Bones gave him a dirty look; his love for fishing was legendary! (Carson smiled at the nod his way) Bones was just about to throw a jab back when the Silver Knight tensed."

"'What is it?' whispered the Dark Knight."

"'I think it's an animal of some kind... maybe a beast... that's been stalking us. I've felt eyes on us ever since we entered this place.'"

"Queen Tala paled, her eyes looking frightened for the first time. 'That's no beast,' she muttered, staring straight into the sky. The others strained to see what she was looking at. 'I think that's our ride into Pennywise's keep.'"

"Suddenly, a shriek echoed off the canyon walls. A leathery, dragon-like bird largely resembling a Pterodactyl came swooping towards them."

"'Get down!' Queen Tala shouted.

"The five complied just in the nick of time; a razor sharp claw had cut through the tough fabric of Bone's medical pack like it were made of butter."

"'The Riddler sent us here to kill us!' shouted the Dark Knight. 'No way can we catch a beast like that!'"

"The Silver Knight shook his head. 'I wouldn't be so sure,' he stated boldly. 'In fact, I have an idea.' The Silver Knight stood up then, as tall as he could, and shouted up to the sky, 'YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME? COME GET IT!'" (At this point, Teyla and Ronon were practically in stitches at John's re-telling of the day's adventure. "Do you think Sheppard really sees the events of the day like this?" Ronon whispered. Teyla stifled a laugh. "Oh, I hope not!" she quietly replied.)

"The pterodactyl threw itself in the air again, making a steep dive for another pass. It aimed right for the Silver Knight's chest, and the Silver Knight stood there, ready for it."

"'No!' shouted the Dark Knight, but Queen Tala held him back. 'Let him go,' she whispered. 'I have seen this kind of thing done before.'"

"The bird came in at break-neck speed, and seconds before it hit the Silver Knight, he jumped out of the way, and in one smooth leap, swung around the muscled neck of the creature and landed firmly upon its back. It screamed in rage and took off, carrying the Silver Knight into the clouds."

"Queen Tala glanced at her companions. 'Shall we join him?' she asked."

"Bones rolled his eyes. 'With all respect, your highness; I am a doctor, not an acrobat!'"

"The Dark Knight frowned. 'I can see how this would be a bit difficult. Can one of these creatures hold two?'"

"'I think so,' Tala replied. 'They are well built for weight.'"

"The Dark Knight nodded and stood tall, screaming for all he was worth. Another of the pterodactyls heard him and came racing towards him. Then, in a movement so fast it was hard to perceive using the normal eye ("Whatever that means," grumbled Rodney, for he knew what _had_ to be coming next), the Dark Knight reached out, grabbed Meredith's pack, and hefted him through the air onto the back of the prehistoric bird. The Dark Knight barely managed to scramble up after him, but in the end he succeeded and the two were air born, soaring into the beauty of the evening sky."

"Minutes later, Queen Tala and Bones had joined them. Though their birds were a little wild at the beginning, there was not too much they could do to get the humans off their backs. They knew that if they lost control, the fall from the sky would be their doom as well as their riders. So, they climbed higher into the evening sky, and soon the misty, unhealthy banks of the Quidam river were left behind as the stars welcomed them."

"'Space, the final destination,' intoned the Dark Knight."

"'Do you think we will ever go there?' asked Queen Tala."

"'Humph, sure,' snorted Meredith. 'Like humans can ever survive in outer space.'"

"'Well, if we ever do, we'd be boldly going where no one ever has gone before,' Bones stated."

(A collective groan rolled through the Lanteans, while the Athosians pondered at the profound depth of the statement. Apparently, none of them save Teyla had been introduced to Star Trek yet.)

"'Well, anyways,' muttered Meredith, 'how do we steer this thing? I want to get down out of the stratosphere sometime soon.'"

"The Silver Knight punched the great bird's neck, and it turned its head to look for the source, thus changing direction. 'I think I found a way!' he shouted, and soon there were three sets of pterodactyls heading to Pennywise's fortress.

Meanwhile, Queen Beth was being prepared for dinner. Her attendants were painting blue diamond patterns over her eyes, and red circles drawn with face paint were being placed on her pale skin. Her hair was now fire engine red, and her eyes held cat-like irises.

"'Does my lady wish a costume yet?' asked one of the Clown attendants."

"Queen Beth took a deep breath, willing her fears to cease. She still clung to her human side, but just barely. She still wore her queenly day dress, and she still held the idea that she was a human. Her teeth had not grown sharp yet."

"'Give her time,' Pennywise's voice echoed through her dark door. 'She has made enough progress tonight. Now, my dear, shall we go to dinner?'"

"Queen Beth knew she had to go, but she was _not_ happy about it. Her hopes for a rescue were getting smaller and smaller."

"While the feast was underway, the pterodactyls made the first pass above the top of Pennywise's keep. There were no guards out; everyone was attending the feast, and why bother watching the sky anyway? After making sure there was no one to spot them, the five attempted to steer their pterodactyls back towards the roof of the keep. However, the pterodactyls were not inclined to fly that way again, and it took a great amount of punching to get them back in position. The Silver Knight passed over the roof first, and he jumped off his mount and hit the roof rolling, flipping back to his feet in perfect, practiced ease."

"'There is no way I can do that!' Meredith squealed."

"'Sure there is!' shouted the Dark Knight, and without warning he pushed Meredith off the Pterodactyl. He immediately followed after, and for a moment everything was a tangle of arms, legs, and cold hard pavement."

"It took a few moments to right himself. The Dark Knight blinked the world into focus; he had no idea jumping off a dinosaur in mid-flight could be so disorienting." Queen Tala and Bones had also 'landed,' and Bones was checking everyone for injuries.

"'Thank goodness that's over,' grumbled Meredith. 'So, now that our little excursion into Dinotopia is over, what are we going to do next?'"

"'Well, we are on the top of Pennywise's keep,' the Silver Knight stated. 'I say we find a way to break in.'"

"'Why break in at all?' asked Bones. 'We all still look like clowns. All of us except Queen Tala.'"

"'Well, that won't work,' Meredith sighed."

"Tala's eyes glowed with excitement. 'Why shouldn't it?' she asked. 'Just think of it! You could be bringing me down to the dungeon; a captured prisoner from the fringe-lands. No one would bother questioning your authority; since when do potential prisoners want to sneak _into _prison? And once down there, we could begin searching for Queen Beth.'"

"'Are you sure she'll be down there?' asked the Dark Knight."

"'Where else would they keep a prisoner?' replied Queen Tala."

"Bones was frowning. 'If they have decided to keep her as ransom, then yes, this is logical. However... what if they are making _her_ into a clown?'"

"They were silent for a moment, and then the Dark Knight said, 'Okay, here is what we will do. Silver Knight, you and Bones will escort Queen Tala to the prison. Start searching for Queen Beth there. Meanwhile, Meredith and I will begin searching through the keep. We won't be able to keep in contact with each other, so let's plan on meeting back here... at dusk tomorrow.'"

oOo

"Dinotopia? Seriously? And haven't you watched enough horror movies to know how dangerous it is to spit up? I mean Sheppard, how could you?" Rodney's tirade began to ebb as he saw the odd looks some of the Athosians were giving him. He sighed, rolled his eyes, and said loudly, "I mean, great story John!"

John grinned back at his friend, amused at Rodney's recent attempt at improving his temper. Rodney was, in his own way, telling John that he quite enjoyed the story. And John had left them on a nail-biter of a cliff hanger; everyone in the jumper on the way back was speculating what would happen next, who would be the next to have a cameo (Lorne was vying for one really badly), and what favorite TV or other media reference would be included. Mostly, though, it was just happy chatter, and John felt very glad that he had been able to do all this. That his corny story would bring his team even closer together was a humbling thought, but it made him feel warm deep down in his core. He hadn't felt like that in a long time.

"Family," he thought to himself as he edged the jumper gently into the landing bay. "That's what this feels like... like I finally belong in a family."


	8. The Seventh Night

**Author's Note: **Yeah, so crazy long chapter! Ahhh! It took forever to write; I had so many characters doing so many different things and I wanted to have everything climax now so we have two nights to settle back down. This chapter was therefore extremely hard to write, and I revised it several times. Finally, I realized I would just have to publish it or I would keep revising it for the rest of my life. So here it is, I hope you enjoy it! Please review if you are still reading this story; I _will_ finish it! Hooray for Christmas in March! Oh, and as a side note, I tried to make the dialogue reflect our guys with accents. So that is why Zelenka's and Carson's dialogues contain spelling mistakes.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything referenced or anything Stargate Atlantis.

Zelenka studied the chess board with a master's calm, while inside reveling at the bizarre turn this game had taken. He had signed up to keep Elizabeth company for an hour, and this was his morning. He figured there was no better way to make an hour go quickly than to play several games of chess. (He supposed it would end up being several games; after all, he _was_ the chess champion of the base. His quickest game had been a minute forty seconds.) However, he was unprepared for Elizabeth's strange plan of attack.

Really, he should have seen it coming. Elizabeth was the leader of the base, after all. Either she was secretly an excellent tactician, or the strain of command had jolted a few screws loose. In fact, when Zelenka came in that morning, Elizabeth had looked preoccupied. She also looked much better; the enforced rest had restored color to her cheeks and she was gaining back the weight she had lost while ill. But perhaps her rest had given her too much time to think; she kept muttering phrases like, "what am I going to do," and "I had no idea," and "you think he could have told me himself." Yet, she did not seem really angry, but pleasantly flustered. Zelenka shook his head and stared bemused once more at the game board. Women made _no_ sense to him.

Elizabeth's side of the board was a mess. She wasn't really using her queen; that piece was being duly guarded by her knight. All the other pieces were fixed in some odd pattern that Zelenka couldn't detect, and this setup was wrecking mass havoc with the board. Every logical move Zelenka made was thwarted with an illogical Elizabeth move. For example, she would put a castle in the way of a pawn, only to have a bishop as a backup. When Zelenka took the obvious move, she wouldn't retaliate but set up an attack elsewhere. She also was very conservative about her pawns, hardly moving them at all except to scoot them out of the way. Meanwhile, she kept looking towards the door, as if she expected an enemy to come through any moment.

Zelenka sighed and looked at the crazy configurations before him. Time to end this now! Not really concentrating, Zelenka moved his queen in for the kill. "Check," he stated.

Elizabeth nodded and moved her queen in to take out Zelenka's. Zelenka stared, bewildered. Elizabeth's queen was now in enemy territory, surrounded by hostiles on every side. Shrugging, he dispatched her queen. Then, he watched in amazement as she moved her knight in... and checkmated his king.

"How... how did you do zat?" he exclaimed.

Elizabeth looked at him and gave a wry grin. "Sometimes a leader must sacrifice for her people," she stated.

Zelenka felt a chill go down his spine; the words hung oddly in the air, as if there were something prophetic about them. Elizabeth didn't seem to notice, though, and Zelenka didn't have the nerve to bring his forebodings up.

"Another game?" she asked brightly.

"No," Zelenka replied. "Let's just talk about Rodney's new power dewice instead. I'm sure you vant to hear how it's coming along."

oOo

Rodney was struggling with the last circuit on the device. John stood next to him, looking rather bored (his thoughts were on someone else). Rodney had worked through the night in what John was deeming the "Mad Scientist Obsession" in order to get his power device operational again. "Really, John has been more of a hindrance than a help," Rodney reflected. John had forbade him from using Elizabeth as a translator until her bed rest term was over, and so Rodney had to make the best of the translation. He was pretty sure he understood the directions now, though. Well, perhaps 97% sure...

"Are you ready for this?" he asked as he snapped the final circuit panel closed.

John shrugged. "Rodney, I trust you, but if you get me stuck on that ceiling... you better find a good place to hide."

Rodney rolled his eyes and waved off John's threat. "Ready?" he asked, an excited grin breaking out on his face. He reached out and pressed the control panel. For a moment, nothing happened. Then, the entire lab went pitch black as every light went out.

oOo

Carson was shaking his head at Ronon. Ronon sat on an infirmary bed trying to look chagrined, while in reality had the biggest smile on his face. Teyla was sitting right next to him, also looking quite bemused. They were both covered in bruises from an intense sparring session, but Ronon sported a cut on his head that needed stitches while Teyla was massaging her wrist. Carson practically growled in displeasure when he saw them.

"Really, what is the point of all this?" he scolded. "Ye get beat up enough as it is out there! I always have to sew ye back up like some demented tailor, and then ye go back again for seconds. Thirds! What is the matter with ye?"

Teyla looked down at her arms, properly chastised, though her eyes still danced with merriment. She had been tired of all the inactivity, and had headed to the sparring room to do some fighting stretches. She had met up with Ronon there, and soon the two were locked into a duel. It had been so fun; both Ronon and Teyla were a higher level of fighting, and their spar turned into an exhilarating dance of leaps, punches, and sticks. Teyla appreciated Ronon's skill, but seeing him in action was the icing on the cake. It was all she could do to keep her face expressionless.

Ronon was grinning widely, though it was his "I've just fought so I'm happy" grin. If Teyla could have read his mind, however, she would have learned that Ronon felt much the same way. He had liked Teyla a lot longer than she had him (in a more than friends way, of course), and during the fight it had been a pleasure to just be near her. It was also exhilarating to fight with someone so skilled; sparring with scientists just didn't cut it. While Carson tended to his cut (which was far worse than Teyla's sprain), he shot a furtive glance to Teyla and was surprised to see a half-hidden grin. The grin spoke volumes to him; Teyla had enjoyed their sparring session much more than he thought. It made Ronon's heart skip a beat; it was all he could do to keep his face expressionless.

Carson had just finished with Teyla's wrist when the lights went out. "Rodney?" he called in exasperation. "If he's lost us power for the rest of the day, I'm gonna kill him!"

"John'll get him first," Ronon commented dryly.

oOo

Elizabeth was sitting up in bed, feeling extremely bored. It felt as if the four walls were closing in on her. In fact, from time to time the patterns on the wall left by the different colors of Ancient paint seemed to shift into pictures. They changed slowly, distorting into odd-angled shapes with the shortening and lengthening of the shadows from the light in the window. Elizabeth had tried to keep her mind occupied, however people just weren't meant to spend all day in bed. She had tired of sifting through mission reports on her computer, tired of reading John's copy of _War and Peace_, tired of waiting for the next meal to come and break the monotony. Her body felt sore and weak from the lack of physical activity, while her brain was too awake for her to actually go to sleep.

"If I stay here any longer, I'll go mad," Elizabeth thought as she stared at her door. For the umpteenth time that day, she looked at her father's watch. Ten-thirty. (Zelenka had come at nine and had only really stayed a half-hour. Elizabeth believed it was a new record for him; Zelenka was extremely bad at just 'shooting the bull.') Two hours till lunch still. Then three more hours till her next visitor, then another hour till her customary dinner with John.

John. Just the thought of him made Elizabeth's heart flutter, though the reality of his feelings had settled on her like a weight. She was constantly second-guessing herself, wondering if he really felt that way about her or if it had all been something she just imagined. And, if the feelings were truly real, then what would become of them? You didn't date a person who worked for you; that went against every rule of command. Still, though Elizabeth was technically the boss, John was the highest ranking officer there. He outranked her when it came to military situations. And in the military, you _could _date if you were the same rank.

"Dating?" Elizabeth thought in dismay. "Okay, that's it, I HAVE to get out! I'm going stir crazy stuck in here!"

Elizabeth dressed in her loose-fitting jogging clothes, though she was definitely not going to attempt jogging. Really, she had only been planning a short, five-minute walk. But once she was outside (to her delight, there was no one to see her in the hall), the change of scenery felt so good that she just extended her walking time. Then she did it again. Her lungs felt okay while doing this; they crackled a bit when she breathed, but on the whole she felt stronger than she had in days. She kept her pace relatively slow and stayed in the more deserted parts of the city, not wishing a run-in with anyone (especially John). Finally though, her lungs had started to burn, and she had to stop. Elizabeth looked around her surroundings; she was in a windowless hallway on level four. She stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and was just about to head back when every light in the hall went out.

"Well, that's just great," she muttered into the darkness.

oOo

"Rodney? What happened?" John called out, his voice edged with frustration. He was holding a flashlight above Rodney's head, the beam looking frail in a gloom that was so black it seemed unreal.

"Working on it!" shouted Rodney in his, "leave me alone" voice.

John gave him thirty seconds, then tried again. "Rodney?"

"Just hold on a minute! Oh, no..."

"Oh no what?"

"Oh, no. No no no, this is not good."

"RODNEY?"

Rodney jumped up and glanced at John, his face speaking volumes. John felt his heart skip a beat. "What did you do?"

Rodney looked away, gesturing half-heartedly at the machine. "For some reason, the device is not making power... it's eating it. I knew I should have disconnected it from the city grid!"

"What? It's eating energy? Like that oil slick thing we found the first few weeks here?"

"Kind of like that... only this is just a mechanical problem. We are not dealing with a sentient monster."

"No, just a Rodney-made monster."

"I resent that!"

John bit back the snide comment he was about to make when his radio beeped.

_"John, what's going on?" _Elizabeth's voice came through loud and clear.

John rolled his eyes. "See what you did?" he muttered at Rodney. Then, he clicked the radio back on. _"Just testing McKay's new toy."_

_"Let me guess... it didn't work."_

_"What gave you that idea?"_

_"Well, John, it was kind of hard to miss the lights going off."_

John frowned at that_. "How would you know the lights went off? You've got a window in your room; unless the power device is also being an energy vampire and sucking the light out of the sun you shouldn't have noticed."_

There was silence for a moment. Then, the radio clicked again and a guilty Elizabeth replied, _"Well, I'm not in my room, John."_

_"WHAT?"_

_"I couldn't take it anymore! I was bored! I thought if I could just go for a short walk... I could rest more efficiently." _

_"Elizabeth, when I get out of here I swear I'm going to..." _

John never got a chance to finish his threat, though, because McKay loudly stated, "look, could you two continue your argument later? I've got work to do, and neither of you are helping any!"

John sighed and clicked back the radio again. _"Look, Elizabeth, got to go. Stay where you are and don't move until we get the power back on. And for heaven's sake don't even think about making your way over here; it's halfway across the base from your quarters. I'll let you know when Rodney has the device fixed."_

He clicked his radio off before he could get a protest and watched as Rodney struggled with the circuits in the dark. Then suddenly, electric sparks began to shoot out of the device.

"What's going on?" asked John.

"The device is sucking in too much power; the capacity circuits are overloaded. In a few moments, this thing will explode."

"How big of an explosion?" exclaimed John.

"It could be enough to take out this lab... or this entire floor."

"Well, that's just great then! How do we shut it down?"

"I can't." Rodney bemoaned. "Not without running the risk of electrocution. I can't even begin to think of how to turn this off and diffuse the energy..." Then, suddenly, Rodney's eyes became very bright.

Wasting no time to talk, Rodney grabbed a bucket from behind a desk and dumped out its contents (a dozen or so power crystals that had been found at random places throughout the city). He then ran into the lab's bathroom.

John watched, bewildered. "Rodney?" he called out cautiously.

"Get behind the desk in the corner," Rodney screamed. John jumped to obey, though he was still wondering if Rodney had lost it. A few moments later, Rodney came out carrying a bucket full of water.

"Shine the flashlight on the device," he yelled at John.

John moved his beam from Rodney to the device. He had no idea what Rodney was doing... then suddenly an arc of water flew through the air and landed squarely on the device. Sparks flew everywhere as Rodney was thrown backwards across the room. The device continued to spark and sputter, throwing out a fountain of brilliant hot white sparks. Thick black smoke puffed up to the ceiling. Then, the device whined like a dying animal and was silent. Darkness ruled all.

"Rodney?" John coughed as he clambered back over the desk and looked at the wreckage of the lab. "Rodney? Are you okay? Answer me right now!"

"Why are you yelling?" an irritated dazed-Rodney voice asked. "I mean, seriously, I just got thrown across the room and into a desk after being singed by a volley of burning white lightning. What on earth made you ask if I'm okay? Of course I'm not okay! I need to get to the infirmarary right now!"

John felt an immense wave of relief wash over him. If Rodney was complaining, then he was fine. His spirits improved as the lights flickered back on, one by one. Zelenka marched into the lab, followed by a team of scientists. They had been busing themselves at the main power grid, and were now coming in to tackle the lab itself.

"Rodney, vhat are you doing on the floor?" asked a concerned Zelenka.

"I'm seeing if it's more comfortable down here; what does it look like I'm doing, you moron? I'm grievously injured!"

A moment later, John had picked his way through the rubble of the lab and was next to Rodney. Rodney was already sitting up, shaking his arms out like the entire thing was nothing.

"Grievously injured?" John asked.

Rodney looked up at him with full indignation, ready to release another tirade about his "delicate body structure." Then, the memory of the stories John was telling and the conversation he had had with Carson yesterday came back to him, and instead Rodney sighed and shook his head.

"Well, now that you ask, I believe only my pride is injured."

John was shocked. He stared at Rodney a full minute before Rodney snorted back indignantly, "What, can't a guy be humble?"

John shook his head in amazement. "I didn't think you could be," he answered.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Here, help me up so I can properly dispose of this hunk of junk."

John glanced at the pile of rubble in the center of the lab, then turned to glare at Rodney. "What were you thinking? Dumping water on that thing; you could have been killed!"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Well, it was either that or let the device blow up!"

John frowned. "How did that work, anyway? I mean, Atlantis was submerged. Most of Ancient tech is waterproof."

Zelenka looked shame-faced at Rodney, then stated slowly, "it vasn't all Ancient."

Rodney scowled. "Look, we were missing a couple of pieces, so... we jury rigged the ones we needed using our own tech. Quite a stroke of genius, if you ask me. I mean, it's not easy getting those things to fit together!"

John tried to keep his temper down. "Yeah, it would have been genius IF IT HAD WORKED!"

Rodney threw his hands up as if pleading for understanding. "Just be thankful _our_ technology is not waterproof," he stated grimly, "or else we'd be having this conversation in a very different place right now."

John then watched in amazement as Rodney walked over to Zelenka and bent over to help him with the cleaning. The two worked compatibly, Rodney was acting like he almost respected Zelenka. One thing was for sure; Rodney had changed. Barely; it was so small it was almost unperceivable... yet it was there. Rodney was manning up!

"_Colonel Sheppard, this is Dr. Weir."_

John tapped on his radio. _"Go ahead."_

_"I can see Rodney fixed some of the problem, anyway, as the lights are back on here. How's it coming?"_

John rolled his eyes. _"That's really not supposed to be any of your concern right now, Dr. Weir."_

Wrong thing to tell your superior. _"The hell it is my concern, Colonel Sheppard! You many be in control temporarily but you are definitely not the head of this mission..."_

John winced and cut her off_. "Sorry; things have been crazy here as of late. Where are you; I'll tell you everything that happened as I escort you back."_

Silence for a moment. Then, the radio clicked as Elizabeth stated, _"Don't worry about escorting me back, John. I know you have tons to do." _

That sounded fishy. John narrowed his eyes and asked in his best question-with-a-loaded-gun-in-it tone. "_Elizabeth, where are you?"_

_"Um... in the hallway on level four."_

_"WHAT?"_ John exclaimed incredulously. "_That's on the other side of the city! What on earth were you thinking?"_

_"I kind of lost track of how far I'd gone."_

_"Stay there, I'm coming to get you." _John clicked out, then glared at Rodney as if Elizabeth's behavior were all his fault. "Why is it that when people get PhDs they loose all their common sense?" he asked exasperated to no one in particular.

McKay snorted in reply. Zelenka hadn't caught the comment; he was too engrossed with the twisted metal monstrosity that had once been the Ancient power device.

oOo

Elizabeth debated actually running back to her room. She knew the confrontation between her and John would not be pleasant, yet the way she was feeling about him right now... well, she had no idea how she'd act. She felt like she could say anything; her heart fluttered in expectation of seeing him, yet her temper rose with John's dismissal of her command. Above all, she realized that she was exhausted. The long walk had taken everything out of her (though she hadn't realized it at the time), and the thought of having to walk all the way back was torturous. In fact, even standing didn't feel very good anymore. Elizabeth sunk slowly to the ground, careful to use the wall to prop herself up. It would not do for John to find her passed out on the ground again.

A few moments later, Elizabeth heard the door opened. She turned to look and saw a very frustrated John glaring at her. But as he took in the sight of her looking tired, pale, and spent... the frustration melted away. In two big steps he was right next to her.

"Lizabeth? Are you alright?" he asked nervously. "Do you need Dr. Beckett?"

Elizabeth frowned at John, and though her thoughts felt fuzzy, she was able to reply in a very Elizabeth-like manner. "Dr. Beckett? John, I'm just a little tired. I walked more than I should have."

Hearing Elizabeth's tone put to rest some of John's fears. "You shouldn't have walked at all!" he exclaimed. "I mean, really Elizabeth! Are you _trying_ to kill me?"

Elizabeth looked up at him in confusion. "Kill you? What on earth do you mean?"

John knelt down in front of her, his deep hazel eyes boring into her green ones. "What I mean to say is... every time I think of you in danger... I have a mini heart-attack. Alright? So just have a little more care for yourself, okay?"

Elizabeth felt her heart speed up. "Why would you care so much?" she asked quietly, though she had been told the answer by others. She just had to confirm it for herself.

John sighed deeply. He knew he had to answer her this if he ever wanted to make his move, yet opening up his feelings? That was more tormenting than getting fed on by Todd. "Because..." John began, looking to the ceiling as if he would find the words up there. "Because... if I ever lost you... life wouldn't be the same. It would be darker somehow... and I would be like... like a shadow of myself... heck, I'm no good at this!" With that statement, he leaned in and kissed Elizabeth.

Elizabeth's eyes opened wide in surprise, then slid shut as the realization, "he loves me" took full effect. In fact, she was just starting to kiss back when she had to pull away for a coughing spell. John held her close while she attempted to get her breath back.

Elizabeth felt mortified! "Oh my," she thought as her coughs subsided, "how pathetic is this? I _finally_ get my feelings for him sorted out, and when we _finally_ get to kiss I cough all over him!"

John didn't seem to mind, though. "Let's get you back to your room," he stated as he gently picked her up.

Elizabeth blinked in confusion. "You're not going to carry me all the way back, are you? It's a long way."

"We'll head to the infirmarary for a wheelchair. Besides, I want Carson to have a look at you."

"He's going to kill me."

"I'll make sure he doesn't." John replied steadily. "After all, if he did, where would _I_ be?"

oOo

Teyla ran into Georgiana Tucker in the hall. She smiled and waved at the young archaeologist; she had given the woman sparring lessons from time to time. Georgiana smiled and waved back, shifting a large box onto her hip in order to do so. Teyla looked at it curiously.

"That's a strange box," she stated. "I've never seen one with cloth on the top like that."

Georgiana grinned. "It's a quilter's box," she replied. "I was going to quilt with Dr. Weir this afternoon, but she is not feeling up to it. So, I was heading to the lounge. Care to join?"

Teyla nodded. "I'll join you for a cup of tea; I'm curious to see what quilting is."

Both of the women turned and headed to the "lounge." Nicknamed the lounge by Colonel Sheppard, the place was actually an open space with a full glass wall and roof adjacent to the canteen. The place had become a rec room of sorts. There was a pool table, a foosball table, and several other table games the Dadelus had supplied them with. The floor had been covered with a few nice carpets to make the place look more like a living room than the sterile open space it had been, and many of the Lanteans (particularly the off-duty military personnel) had made good use of it.

Teyla and Georgiana settled in at a table in the far corner of the room. Georgiana opened up her box and pulled out several strips of fabric that had been sewed in intricate, colorful patterns.

"My mother taught me how to do this," she told Teyla. "She always said quilting is good for the soul."

Teyla smiled as she inspected the delicate geometric design. "Why is it good for you?" she asked after a moment.

Georgiana smiled. "The quilt tells the story of the person who makes it. The colors they choose, the pattern they use, it all adds up to who they are as a person. Some say quilts can even tell you some things about yourself you don't even know; it pulls people together like thread pulls the different fabrics together." After a beat, Georgiana asked, "Teyla, would you like to make a square?"

Teyla nodded after a moment of thought. "Maybe this art will tell me what to do about my budding feelings for Ronon," she thought with a wry chuckle.

In and out, in and out went Teyla's needle, and in an hours time she had a completed (though simple) square of various shades of brown fading to black. A single thin gold strand of fabric wove its way through, connecting all the colors while maintaining a perfect wave. As Teyla examined it, she felt she _could_ see something in the cloth. The colors! How they faded into each other, complemented each other, strengthened each other.

"Just like Ronon and I," Teyla thought with a sigh. "Whether he knows it or not, we belong together... just like the colors on this quilt square." Then, realizing that her logic was a nutty as a squirrel's, Teyla handed the needle and thread back to Georgiana. Teyla may have taken the symbolism of her quilt square too far, but the result was actually what she had hoped for... and more.

"The next time I go to the mainland for the day, you will have to come," Teyla said gratefully to Georgiana. "I would be honored if you would teach my people this art."

Georgiana grinned a mysterious smile. "So, I take it sewing helped you reach a decision?"

Teyla narrowed her eyes in mock suspicion. Georgiana was an extremely perceptive person... which made her an excellent archaeologist. Still, Teyla would have rather her revelation about Ronon go unnoticed.

"Don't worry," Georgiana said after another moment. "Your secret is safe with me!"

Teyla shook her head in admiration at the young woman's skill. Teyla just couldn't win.

oOo

The Seventh Night was all for honoring the singles in Athosian culture. Almost every Lantean had come for this night. The war games were officially over, with Dusty coming out in first place (not really a surprise there). There were only two nights left after this one, and everyone wanted to be a part of the fun before it was over. However, the concept of a night devoted to singles left some of the Lanteans confused.

"Okay, is it just me, or is this really bizarre?" asked Rodney as several Athosians ranged from teens to young adults came swarming out of tents dressed in yellowish orange.

"There is nothing strange about this at all," Teyla fired back, her own orange sash looking unnaturally bright in the light of the setting sun. "Athosians honor everyone in their culture; they believe everyone has a purpose at the place they are at. For instance, being single is just as great an honor as being married; single people have more time to devote to hunting. They also have more time to practice their fighting skills and are the first to defend against the Wraith. Therefore, they are honored soldiers, and all the families hold them in high regard."

Rodney sighed as a young Athosian woman handed him a yellow scarf. "I'm not single!" he barked, irritated. The woman jumped away.

"Gee, McKay, how was she supposed to know that?" Sheppard admonished. (He had just come from the jumper; the Lantean party was so big they had to take two and Sheppard had just finished landing.) The young woman smiled at John and held out the yellow scarf Rodney had just rejected. "No thank you, I'm not single," John stated, grinning at the heavily stunned looked that blossomed on Rodney's face. Then, he checked the time on his new combat watch. "I have to get dressed! Have a good time in the parade, Rodney!" Rodney watched John leave. His mouth was still hanging open in shock.

oOo

The Athosian singles marched up to the cave, looking like fire in the light of the setting sun. Everyone else was camped out on the overhanging roof of the cave, watching as the singles climbed up the hill like tongues of flame. Their climb was the strangest sort of dance ever seen; at first it just looked like a side-by-side parade. Then, some of the singles came running up the hill, while some fell back in an intricate pattern of triangles.

"It's kind of like marching band," Lorne reflected as he watched the group nearest him continue the same pattern.

"The singles represent the fire to fight that is in all of us," Halling explained loudly. "This is why they wear yellow and orange, to symbolize their spirit of protection which never leaves the people. We are all a part of their family, just as they are a part of ours."

Some of the Lanteans nodded about that, although most were watching the march instead of listening. When the dance was over, everyone crowded again into the cave. The dance had gotten everyone riled up; the volume in the cave was extremely loud with people laughing and talking. But when Halling held up his hand for silence, all the people took their seats in an expectant hush. The lights were dimmed, the torches lit, and once again John was the master storyteller.

"As you remember," John began, "against Meredith's better judgment, the five had _split_ up. The darkness of night had covered the castle like a thick suffocating blanket; it seemed at times to Queen Tala that they were suffocating inside the keep. Their descent into the dungeons didn't help either; the further down they trudged the thicker the air seemed to get. The way was eerily silent; so far they had come across no clown guards. If they had known there was a great feast going on, they might have felt more at ease; as it was, their journey felt like a fall into the abyss. Finally, they rounded a corner and saw flickering torchlight ahead. The musty scent of the air became riddled with the smell of filth; it was evident that some prisoners of the clowns led their _entire_ lives out in the cells."

"Ahead was a single clown guard, looking in the flickering torchlight like an escapee from a college haunted house. He was none too excited about being the only one left behind when the festivities started, and his eyes locked onto Queen Tala like a predator eyes its prey."

"'What is this creature?' he asked."

"'Just a captive from the Fringe land,' the Silver Knight sneered. 'What's it to you?'"

"Here the clown guard smiled a sinister, fanged smile. 'Its a great deal of meaning when prey is caught fresh.' He stepped up to the group and in one swift motion caught Tala's face in his pale hand. He examined her as one would examine a ripe fruit. Then, just as suddenly, he let go of her."

"'Pennywise has sent you here to test me,' he snarled. 'Such a delicate morsel is reserved for Pennywise's table, not for the dungeons.' Then, the clown looked up at the Silver Knight's painted face, an evil grin accentuated large by his painted smile. 'I understand you now... you two stole her from the table! You thought you could come down here and eat her alone... but I'll have none of that. You must let me have the chief parts; the heart and the liver, or I will call down Pennywise himself!'"

"'Well, we can't have that now, can we?' the Silver Knight muttered. Then, in one swift motion, he brought out his short sword and rammed the butt on the clown's head. The clown went down like a rag doll. It may have just been the Silver Knight's imagination, but he even thought he heard it squeak." (Several of the Lanteans had to laugh at the image their minds produced at John's odd choice of words.)

"'Now, to business,' Queen Tala prompted. The trio took off down the corridors of the dungeon, searching each cell. However, their search was quickly becoming fruitless. It was a rather small dungeon, due to the fact that the clowns usually ate their prisoners, and every cell that was not empty sported a skeleton of sorts. In a short amount of time, the trio was coming to the end of the garrison. There was one more cell along the wall."

"Queen Tala was first to the cell, and when she peered in she shrieked and jumped back. Bones and the Silver Knight were at her side in an instant, and all three beheld a strange sight. A living man was glaring back at them! His clothes were somewhat ragged but were once brightly patterned, Gypsy in design, even now brightening up the dingy cell. He eyed the two "clowns" and Queen Tala, and at once broke into a mirthless laugh."

"'Well, if it isn't Harpo and Chuckles here to rescue me from my enforced isolation. Not only that; they brought me Raggedy Ann as a companion. Are we to be cell mates, my dear?'"

"Hardly,' Tala sneered. 'I am here looking for a woman who was captured a few days ago. Have you seen her?'"

"The Gypsy shrugged. 'I might have,' he stated. 'But, lady, if you want to know what I know, you must give something in return. A lot of good my information will do me if I die here in this cell. Get me out of here, and I'll tell you everything I know.'"

"Queen Tala thought a moment, then nodded. 'Very well,' she stated. 'Silver Knight, go and get the keys from our incapacitated jailor.'"

"The Silver Knight bounded away into the darkness, while Tala looked at the man before her. 'Who are you?' she asked."

"The man gave an impish grin. 'I am Evano, the Gypsy.' (Lorne practically turned purple with embarrassment, but he was also looking pleased) 'I'm here because I am the best thief there ever was; I am an acrobat of astounding prowess. I was also born under an unlucky star.'"

"'Well, that just explains everything,' grunted Bones."

"While the trio were enjoying the charms of Pennywise's dungeon, the Dark Knight and Meredith were also descending into the keep. Their descent was much faster, though, for though they stayed to the servant corridors, their search began in the top rooms of the castle. It was dreadfully difficult to see, however none of the clowns were around except the most unlucky of the servants, who were presently making merry in secret instead of going about their jobs. Room after room was empty, and the two saw no other beings until they reached the kitchen."

"No sooner had they stepped into the kitchen when they heard footsteps in the corridor. Two clown servants were coming back with empty kegs, sent to get more blood-wine. Meredith and the Dark Knight jumped behind a barrel in the corner and froze."

"'I don't think it's smart of Pennywise,' growled the first clown. 'After all, there are many more Queens that he could have. Really, if you think about it, he is wooing a being that is no better than a Junior Clown.'"

"'It's his life; what he does with it is his concern. I'm just happy his secretary MoneyPenny is still up for grabs.'"

"'The one with the double-oh-seven waistline?'"

"'Yup.'" (Many of the Lanteans groaned good-naturedly. The Athosians just looked confused.)

"The Dark Knight took a deep breath. The men would be in range in a couple of minutes; one quick leap and at least one would go down without a fight. But then, to his undying surprise, he heard Meredith call out, 'BAZINGA!'" (Rodney grinned as several of his team members shot him looks of admiration. It _was_ good to be the hero for once... even if he had created the problem in the first place.)

"Meredith had taken one of the smaller, emptier barrels and had placed it under a small faucet. While the clowns had been gabbing, he had been letting it fill. When he shouted out, he snatched the bucket and with one quick motion poured water over the unsuspecting clown's heads. The Dark Knight watched in horror as they melted before him."

"'Oh, what a world,' Meredith groaned as the clowns turned in to puddles of white face paint, leaving their clothes behind."

"'How did you know the water would melt them?' demanded a surprised Dark Knight."

"Meredith shrugged. 'The wicked always melt in water,' he explained. 'At least, that's what the Wizard of Oz said this year at the Conjurer's Convention. I thought there'd be no better time to try out the theory, though I admit I was a bit apprehensive. One can never tell when the Wizard is telling the truth or not.'"

"'Well, it worked for these clowns.'"

"'Apparently. But I have a feeling we're going to need something stronger than water to defeat Pennywise with. After all, he kidnapped Queen Beth through a drainpipe. Odds are water does not have the same effect on everyone evil.'"

"The Dark Night frowned, then a crazy grin began to spread across his face."

"'What?' asked Meredith."

"'You know, we'd be able to get around much better if everyone thought we were servants.' He indicated the previous clown servant's wardrobe. 'What do you say?'"

"'I say you're nuts.'"

"The Dark Knight grinned. 'I'm positively batty,' he replied, picking out the first article of clothing from the mire."

"Now this occurred right about the time Queen Tala fished the strange man out of his cell. She stood there with her arms folded, looking imposing. The Silver Knight standing behind her helped that illusion along greatly. However, the brash young man seemed impervious to their glares as he sauntered out of the cell. He acted as if he owned the place! It surprised Queen Tala that he even deigned to mutter 'thanks.'"

"'Now that you are out, have you seen a lady brought in a couple of nights ago?' Queen Tala asked."

"Evano smiled thinly. 'Aren't we even going to be introduced?' he asked playfully. 'After all, it is obvious you are not clowns. Even a rival clown gang would not have set a prisoner free.'"

"Bones sighed. 'Let's get this show over with,' he muttered to Tala. The Queen nodded and held her head high. 'I am Tala from Gondor.'"

"Evano stared at her in mock surprise. ("Boy, Sheppard has it out for you," Mickelman teased. Lorne shot him an annoyed glance, but inwardly he was glad to be a part of the story). 'Not the Queen Tala of Camelot?' he crooned. 'With her trusty companions the Silver Knight and Bones the court physician? Your majesty overwhelms me.'"

"'Can I dispatch him, my lady?' asked the Silver Knight."

"Queen Tala glared at Evano. 'Obviously, you know us. We have yet to hear your title.'"

"Evano bowed low, continuing his mock-respectful behavior. 'I am a Gypsy Prince, over none other than this castle. I have been imprisoned here ever since Pennywise attacked my family... five years ago. That is how I know your royal persons; I have visited Camelot before and have been a guest in your royal tower. It's sad that you don't remember.'"

"Queen Tala could barely contain her rage. 'Liar!' she hissed. 'Camelot has never befriended the Circus Folk. You are friends of Clowns and Junior Clowns. Worse than that, you usually become slaves to such folk; setting up their tents for them and handling all their props. What have we ever to do with you?'"

"Evano shrugged as if it were the end of a long involved argument. 'Peace negotiations,' he said flatly. 'It would do you well to pay more attention to what your Queen Beth does in her spare time. And speaking of your Queen, I know where she is.'"

"'Where?' growled the Silver Knight, deftly flitching his sword to Evano's jugular."

"Evano laughed again, though not so mockingly as before. 'If you kill me, you'll never know,' he stated evenly. 'But, if you follow me, I'll take you right to her.'"

"Meredith and the Dark Knight emerged from the kitchen wearing the tattered harlequin outfits. Meredith was in yellow and black, while the Dark Knight was in red and black. Both of them felt like they stood out way too much, yet when they entered the banquet hall, no one even gave them a second glance."

"The scene was one of mass horror." ("Mass horror?" Rodney grumbled. "Where does he come up with this stuff?") "There were clowns of all kinds everywhere! There were jugglers and acrobats, tumblers and bums! There were bear riders, pony riders, and a group of twenty-something stuffed into the most horrendous vehicle of all time... the VMW Beetle. But worst of all was the raised dais that stood at the end of the room, where, sitting on his throne, the evil Pennywise and Queen Beth sat."

"The Dark Knight stopped stock still. _His_ Queen was barely recognizable. Her hair stuck out on all sides a curly red, and her skin was pale and patterned. The only things unchanged about her were her teeth and clothes... and even those were looking frail in the weak light." ("Have ye ever seen teeth look frail?" Carson asked to Dr. Belmont, the base's dentist. He burst out laughing, which garnered a look of murder from the Athosians around them.) "The Dark Knight stared for a few moments, then, without warning, lunged across the tables. He had no idea why he did it; perhaps it was that seeing Queen Beth so far gone unhinged him. Needless to say, he felt he was impervious to any danger, and in seconds he had practically flown across the room and had Pennywise at sword-point."

"'Let her go!' the Dark Knight demanded. The hall became pin-drop silent."

"'Really?' cackled the evil clown. "'This was your master plan? To hold me prisoner in my own castle, with my Queen by my side. Really? You couldn't have come up with something better?'"

"Let her go,' the Dark Knight enunciated slowly, 'or I will kill you.'"

"Pennywise suddenly locked his soulless eyes into the Dark Knights. 'You really think you can kill me, insignificant human? I am ageless; I am eternal. I am darkness, I am evil, I am the never-ending night.'"

"'You're wrong,' the Dark Knight spat. 'Even the night ends with the dawn. And so I will make an end of you!'"

"'Rubbish!' cried the Clown. 'My Queen? Assist!'"

"The Dark Knight sneered. 'She won't help you,' he said. But at that very moment, he felt a cold point of metal settle on his neck... right on his jugular." ("Must be the only artery he remembers from Anatomy class," Carson whispered to Dr. Belmont. This time, Dr. Belmont smacked him in reply.) "He dared to glance away for a moment and saw... to his horror... that Queen Beth was holding a sword straight at his neck."

"'Let him go,' she stated calmly, 'and no immediate harm will come to you, stranger.'"

"The Dark Knight stood there for centuries, feeling like a black hole of regret had opened in the pit of his stomach. 'Too late. I'm too late,' he realized." (Again Zelenka got that strange, shivering feeling up his spine. Whatever it was, it needed to stop!) "Finally, the realization that he was still standing on the dais came to him, and he slowly lowered his sword. Pennywise had won."

"Pennywise's goons then jumped up on the dais, pinning the Dark Knight down in seconds flat. Pennwise looked out into the silent crowd and spotted Meredith as if he had a spotlight pointing at him. 'There, the court Lore-Master!' Pennywise screamed out. 'Get him!' Meredith did the only sensible thing he could do in that situation; he fled."

"Tense minutes seemed to turn into hours, but at last the clowns came back. 'We lost him, sir,' they replied, cringing in expectance of what was to come. But Pennywise was in an exceedingly good mood; one they had rarely seen him in. He only killed off one of their number. Then, the dead clown's blood still dripping from his fangs, he turned to the crowd of clowns and opened his arms wide. Pennywise grinned evilly at the Dark Knight. 'At least we have you, Dark Knight. The ring-leader,' he snarled. Then, he smiled a hideous smile and chuckled menacingly, 'Your fate will be as follows: you will be feasted upon by your very own Queen... and your life will end at dusk tomorrow.'"

Lantean and Athosian both cheered, though some looked upset at being left on _another_ cliffhanger. But at least they only had a day to wait! The rest of the evening passed by in a blur of talking, with Rodney acting uncharacteristically silent. John wondered if something was wrong with him, yet every time he got near to ask him another Athosian came up and told John how much they were enjoying his story. The praise was very encouraging, but after a while John was ready to go. There was only so many times you could say, "Thank you!" in a night.

Finally, everyone was packed back in the jumper, and the mainland was fading behind them. The loud chatting had turned to contented mumbling; all except for Lorne, who kept stating he had no idea he was going to be in the story and how pleased he was.

Halfway back to Atlantis, Rodney plopped himself down into the copilot seat. He remained silent though, shooting furtive looks at John every five seconds. John was tempted to see just how long Rodney could sit there without bursting, but he didn't feel like being that cruel.

"What do you have on your mind, pal?" John asked.

"Glad you asked, John. So, why are you _not_ single?"


	9. The Eighth Night

**Author's Note: **Well, after an absurdly long wait, here it is; the next chapter. I'm so sorry about the gap; I've been without a computer for about two months as I moved and went to teaching conferences and such. But now, I have three weeks before the school year starts again, and I am determined to finish! We'll see... Thank you to all who have stuck with me through this crazy fanfic; your reviews give me the inspiration to finish. Hooray for Christmas in July!

**ANN: **This is also slightly AU now; I didn't follow cannon on who fell in love with who. I just think the whole plot with Teyla's wraith husband is so weird. Also notice that this story includes Dr. Brilo, who is that crazy doctor Carson _almost _asked to go fishing with him in the Sunday episode. I looked up her name in episode transcripts; that's how much of a geek I am.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the random things of pop-culture, I just throw it in and hope it makes coherent sense. Twilight fans, don't kill me.

Rodney took a deep breath, trying not to panic. His arms were shaky, his palms were sweaty, his breaths were coming in short bursts. It took all his willpower to keep his knees from knocking. He held his weapon out in front of him holding it properly yet stiffly, as if he was made of wood. He did not want to die today.

Ronon watched Rodney on the other side of the training circle, much amused. He had taken up training Rodney after being trapped with him on the Hive ship. For months they had been training... and Rodney was still a hopeless mess. Ronon tried to lure him into moving by lowering his training staff to the side, but Rodney stood there looking puzzled.

"Be aggressive!" Ronon practically roared. "Make me fear you!"

"Okay!" Rodney yelled back, clearly not planning on moving anytime soon. Ronon sighed, and as he continued his slow pace around the circle, his mind began to wander (as it always seemed to do these days) to Teyla.

Yesterday had been so much fun! Even Ronon had to admit that to himself. Teyla and he had met for a sparring session. Teyla had to be one of the most skilled fighters on the base. She fought well, with just the right balance of reserve and ferocity. She reminded Ronon of a jungle cat; slender and graceful, yet powerful and deadly. Her temperament was not that of a cat though; she was kind and cool-headed, serene yet passionate at the same time. She was everything Ronon wanted in a woman, and then some. More importantly, she fit Ronan's personality very well. If only Ronon had a home to offer her, if only he had a place... then things would be different. He would ask her to be his, to fight for her favor even. But the Wraith had ruined it all; Ronon was the last man of his people; a man alone. He might as well not even try. And yet, he couldn't help dreaming that someday... SMACK!

Ronon was brought out of his reverie by a sound and somewhat painful smack on the head from Rodney. "Oh... oh no, I've hit you!" Rodney cried out in horror. "Ronon, I thought you were paying attention. I'm so sorry." Then, suddenly, the enormity of what he had done washed over Rodney like a flood. "Oh my... I've just hit Ronon! I have to go tell Sheppard, he'd never believe me. I can't believe that I was good enough to hit-" At that moment, Ronon gave Rodney a quick blow to the chest, and Rodney shut up, the wind partially knocked out of him.

"Next time you go to hit someone, make sure you hit hard enough so that they can't hit back," Ronon said with a grin. He then walked up to the hunched over Rodney and slapped his hand on his shoulder. "Nice work."

oOo

"...and then, I said that I was so angry at him I thought he should jump off a bridge. And you know what; he did!"

Elizabeth stared in amazement at the woman who had come to share her last morning hour with her. Dr. Brilo, one of Carson's medical staff, was well renowned for her... bubbly extroversion. In fact, Elizabeth had not even seen her pause to draw breath since the visit started a half-hour ago. "She must be part fish; she's got gills somewhere," thought Elizabeth. "There is no way a person can talk this fast and this much without needing to gulp in some air sometime. It's just not possible."

This was Elizabeth's last day of visitors; she was still on bed rest for another couple of days, but Carson had agreed to allow her to go to the mainland on Christmas Eve for the last night of storytelling. She was a little shaky from her excursion the previous evening, but her body was still making progress in its healing, thanks in part to the Ancient antibiotics. In another week, she'd probably be allowed to return to work. If, of course, Elizabeth continued to let her body heal. Elizabeth attempted to take a deep breath (she still had trouble with her breath hitching in her lungs sometimes), and found she was able to inhale most of the way before she felt like coughing. Sighing, she let the air out of her lungs and tried for the umpteenth time that morning to focus on what Dr. Brilo was saying.

"... so after all that I met up with my friend, Gary Clark. He used to be this really geeky guy who loved computers and such, but then he kind of grew out of it and got a job training ponies. Well, horses rather, though I do think they had one pony on the ranch they were on..."

Elizabeth nodded vacantly and her mind turned to other thoughts. Chiefly, they turned to John. Elizabeth smiled as she remembered last night's encounter with her second in command. After the Lanteans got back from the Athosian settlement, John had stopped by to tell Elizabeth the events of the evening. Elizabeth had smiled at his description of the Athosian singles march, and had laughed aloud when she heard how John told Rodney he was not single. After hearing about the rest of the evening, Elizabeth asked how John had answered Rodney's question posed in the jumper.

John had grinned. "Well, I told him a guy like me has a girl through every stargate. Luckily, I think I satisfied him there, but Rodney's a fairly smart guy. He'll start to notice something _someday_."

Elizabeth had grinned an evil grin. "So, Colonel Sheppard, _do_ you have a girl through every gate?"

"Why Dr. Weir," John had stated, a look of mock indignation causing Elizabeth to chuckle, "how can you think that of me? Do you even know me at all?"

"Yes, and that's what worries me," Elizabeth had blurted out.

John had smiled with his eyes, and sat down on the foot of Elizabeth's bed. He took her hands in his own then, looked into her eyes, and said softly, "you know full well there is only one woman in this galaxy I'd ever give up bachelorhood for." He then leaned forward and kissed her hands; the chivalrous gesture had made her blush furiously.

"... and, are you alright? Elizabeth? You are kind of turning red, can you breathe alright?"

Elizabeth snapped out of her pleasant memory to find Dr. Brilo looking at her with the trained eye of a doctor. Elizabeth shook her head slightly to bring herself back to reality and smiled reassuringly at Dr. Brilo.

"I am fine, thank you," Elizabeth stated. "Just zoning out a little; I'm sorry."

Dr. Brilo, her doctor side pacified, nodded and continued on. "Dr. Weir, you have every right to be zoning out. Why if I were you and had been in your place, I would have..."

Elizabeth felt like her eyes were in danger of glazing over. Would Dr. Brilo _ever_ stop talking?

oOo

Rodney stared at Zelenka, who was holding the slender wrapped package with a mixture of trepidation and awe. "So, are you gonna open it?" asked Rodney. "Well, technically, you don't have to, since it's not yet Christmas, but Christmas eve is tomorrow and I figured we'd not be seeing each other... or might not... as there's no where really to go..." Rodney's voice trailed off as Zelenka continued to stare, bewildered. "What?" asked Rodney.

Zelenka swallowed and looked at the package in his hands. "Nothing, Rodney, the gesture is wery nice... but I'm just surprised. I didn't... I never really thought... I mean, a present! From you; it's wery different."

"Yeah," Rodney said, attempting to sound nonchalant. "I thought I'd show all my employees some goodwill; they say it's the season for it. And anyway, you need this since I kind of blew up your best one yesterday."

Zelenka smiled and opened the package. A brand new slender black maglight lay nestled in the paper, ready for use. Zelenka couldn't help laughing a little. "It vas probably not hard for you to get a replacement; Corporal Daniels has thousands of these things in storage."

"Still," Rodney stated as Zelenka switched the flashlight on, "It was your flashlight Sheppard used yesterday to help me see our disaster in the making. When our device blew, Sheppard dropped your flashlight and it got impaled with shrapnel. And just to let you know, that _did_ come at a price. I had to fix Corporal Daniel's coffee maker in order to get one; who knew that such a small item as a flashlight would cost so much!"

Zelenka furrowed his brows in confusion. "How long did it take you to fix the machine?" he asked.

Rodney frowned. "An hour," he moaned.

Zelenka bit back a chortle. "It's the simplest things in life that are the hardest to fix," he stated.

"Yeah, I agree," Rodney said shortly. "Well, now that you have a light you should get back to work," Rodney finished.

Zelenka sighed and tucked the flashlight into his belt. He could have a number of things to say to his boss about his "gift," but what came out of Zelenka's mouth was "Thank you, Rodney."

Rodney smiled a half smile back. "You're welcome," he said after a pause.

"Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas."

oOo

Carson stepped softly into the infirmary. The pile of paperwork loomed in front of him, covering his desk. Carson looked right. No one was there. Carson looked left. Even the shift nurse was gone; it was time to change shifts. Carson grinned; he'd be able to get work done today, he just knew it! He could feel it; it had been slow going in the infirmary this morning, with any luck it would continue to be slow going this afternoon. Quietly, he padded over to his desk. He had just gotten settled and comfortable, when... in walked Colonel Sheppard.

Carson threw his pen down with a sigh and turned in his swivel chair to face John. "What ken I do for ye, Colonel?" he asked, hoping that Sheppard was not here with more worries about Elizabeth. According to Dr. Brilo, who had stayed with her a full two hours and forty minutes that morning (until Elizabeth had fallen asleep), Elizabeth was doing well.

"Doc, I have a problem," stated Sheppard matter-of-factly.

"Is Elizabeth okay?"

John blinked in surprise. "Oh, yes, better than okay I think. No, I have a problem with my story part I have to tell tonight, and I need some medical advice."

Carson grinned in spite of his being interrupted in paperwork. There was nothing a Scotsman liked better than telling a good story. "Alright me boy, tell me what you need help with."

John frowned. "Last we left off, Elizabeth; I mean, Queen Beth, has turned me over to Pennywise because she's almost fully clown. Now, I know we tried retroviruses and such, but with this being a middle-ages themed story, how am I going to get you to create a retrovirus with materials found in clown country?"

Carson frowned. This was a problem. "Maybe I brought them with me?" he stated.

"Yeah, but then you'd have to get a lab where you could put everything together, and with the introduction of Major Lorne I'm not sure we have time for that."

Carson nodded. "Can we capture her and take her back to Camelot and then work on her?"

John shook his head. "I had planned for everyone to come back in a mighty celebration style; the last night of the Nine Nights is supposed to end with hope, and what better way to convey hope and spirit than with a parade."

Carson nodded again, deep in thought. Finally, his face broke into a grin. "There is one fool-proof way; give her a blood transfusion."

John frowned. "A what?"

"A transfusion. Have the main character give her some of his blood so it washes out the clown serum. Or, at least enough to give our Queen a fighting chance."

John blinked. "Kind of like the biological version of the EM pulse?"

"Exactly."

John gave Carson a dubious look. "But everyone's got to know they might not be the same blood type; how can this possibly work?"

Carson chortled. "Sheppard, this isn't real life! Ye are using clowns, Batman, and several other various cultural references even I don't understand to portray life in Atlantis. Seriously, if ye fudge a little on the medical side, no one will notice. Writers do it all the time on TV anyway; I once saw this movie where a guy got beat to a pulp, had his knee shattered, then drove a car off a twenty meter ledge in an indoor parking lot. He was still able to walk away! I mean, come on, how strong do they think the human body really is?"

John smiled at Carson's rant against popular culture and nodded. "A transfusion does have a dramatic side. What are the tools you need for it?"

Carson gave a smile that reminded John of numerous mad scientist movies. Paperwork forgotten, Beckett moved towards his medical supply closet. He began to rummage through it, excited that he got to show off some of the tools of his trade. "What you'll really need," began Carson, "is some fine tubing..."

oOo

Elizabeth sighed as she looked at the clock on her wall. She had one more visitor today before her bed-rest term was over. She had been amazed and honored at the care everyone had shown to her of late; everyone had pulled together and had sacrificed some of their time, just to make her feel comfortable and well-looked after. However, Elizabeth was surprised when she learned the identity of the last team member to make an appearance in entertaining her for an hour. That team member was Ronon.

Ronon was _not_ an entertainer sort of person. He did not make small talk. He was really a man of very few words; what he said was what he thought. Elizabeth didn't know what to make of his upcoming visit. It could be that Ronon viewed visiting her like a soldier would view visiting their comrade; the presence was supportive enough. Coming from a man like Ronon, who seemed to wear loneliness as well as he wore his everyday clothes, the gesture was a huge sign of respect.

Elizabeth's door chimed. "Come in," she called.

Ronon opened the door and stood in the frame, looking for a moment rather intimidating and larger than life. Elizabeth smiled her negotiator smile and waved him over to a chair by her bed. Ronon sat down.

"How are you feeling?" Ronon asked.

"Much better, thank you," Elizabeth replied.

"Good."

Tick. Tick. Tick. The minutes went by in silence. Ronon wriggled in his chair uncomfortably, unsure of what to say. Elizabeth tried a few conversation starters and got nowhere; Ronon was the master of the short answer. Elizabeth fell silent then and began to study him. Ronon was a living legend among the Lanteans at being the best physical warrior on base. The fact that he could beat both Teyla and Sheppard at once if he really needed to earned him an almost revered status; no one dared to look sideways at Ronon. But as Elizabeth studied him, she noticed something in his eyes she had not seen before. A pain of some sort residing there. It gave Elizabeth the information she needed to ask the next question.

"Ronon, why are you here?"

Ronon blinked in surprise. "Sheppard said you needed someone to keep you company for an hour."

Elizabeth smiled a small smile. "True, and I do value your company, but to a person as quiet as you this sort of assignment is torture. And so I believe you wouldn't come here if you didn't have another reason to come here."

Ronon bowed his head. "I need your advice," he stated shortly.

Elizabeth nodded. "Go ahead."

"I think I love Teyla."

Elizabeth suppressed the giggle that rose up inside her and put her calm, cool, negotiator mask on. "You think you do, or you know you do? There is a big difference."

Ronon thought a moment. "I know I do," he said with certainty. "But here is the problem; I have nothing to offer her. I have no family, no heritage, no real possessions even. I am a warrior at heart; how can I make a life for her? Love is supposed to be lived in a time of peace, not war."

Elizabeth sat there for a long moment, considering how she would respond. "Ronon," she began finally, "I think you have a great deal to offer Teyla. You have a family; we are your family. You have a heritage; you are the last surviving member of an entire culture and you will carry that culture on to your children and theirs after. I don't think Teyla is one much for possessions, and Ronon? Teyla is a warrior at heart too. Out of all of us on this base, I believe she can identify the most with you. Love is an interesting thing. It rises out of the ashes to begin again; real love, pure love, is always building up, always hoping, always enduring. Love can endure even war, for those willing to chance it."

Ronon stared at his leader in awe. Where did she come up with this stuff? And yet, what she had to say lifted a great burden off Ronon's heart. He stood then, his face resolved but his eyes shining.

"Don't let her get away from you," Elizabeth said with a grin. "After all, women like to be chased."

Ronon shook his head in amusement. "Thanks," he stated, then he turned and left the room. Elizabeth smiled and shook her head. "Well, that was interesting," she said to herself as soon as Ronon was gone. "I wonder what he will do now."

oOo

The Athosian celebration for eighth night was to honor leaders, for leaders had the hardest jobs of anyone in the community. Leaders were highly regarded among the Athosian people, for it was the leaders that organized life in their chaotic world. The Athosian leader was first to hear about the Wraith and the last to go into hiding. In times of starvation, they had it worst. In times of plenty, they were the last to be served. A leader always put the group before himself. Therefore, on the eighth night, the people devoted a night to honor their leaders, who had always done the best they could for the sake of their people.

The procession toward the cave on the eighth night didn't begin until dark. When it was fully pitch black, a head-wreath made of tangled white vines, red berries, and flickering candles was put onto the leader's head (Holland, in the Athosian's case, since choosing Teyla would be seen through Athosian eyes as a veiled insult towards Atlantis). Everyone else stood in a single-file line behind their leader, making sure they kept their order by placing a hand on the person in front of them's right shoulder. During the walk to the cave, no other lights were to be used, so to find the way into the cave one truly had to hang on to the person's shoulder in front of them and hope that the leader knew where they were going.

John was also offered a crown as a courtesy, which he politely refused. He was the leader of his own team, but he wouldn't side-step Elizabeth's authority by claiming to be the leader of all the expedition. Instead, the Lanteans joined in with the rest of the Athosians, and everyone moved together towards the cave in a long, long line. One would expect such a procession to be solemn, but the Athosians actually were laughing and shouting out warnings to those behind about rocks and tree roots. In fact, it was rather like a romp, only a blindfolded one.

When the story platform torches were lit (all food was eaten before the march to the cave this time, to accommodate for the evening starting off so late), John assumed his stance on the platform and looked out across the sea of people.

"When we last left off," John began, "Queen Tala, the Silver Knight, and Bones had rescued the Gypsy Prince Evano. Meredith melted the servant clowns, and he and the Dark Knight had crashed Pennywise's party. However, instead of recognizing her rescuers, the Queen Beth put a sword to the Dark Knight's neck! Meredith escaped, and the Dark Knight was taken prisoner, in order to be food for Queen Beth when her transformation to clown was complete."

"Now, when the whole thing went down with the Dark Knight, Meredith fled down a narrow passageway. He managed to elude the clowns chasing him long enough to use his magic to turn himself invisible. It was a risky spell; one he didn't like using very much, because while he was under the influence of the spell he could neither eat or drink. And kids, let me tell you, Meredith loves to eat!" (Rodney glowered, but good-naturedly; his appetite was too well known to be a surprise for anyone.)

"When he finished becoming invisible, Meredith jumped into a small alcove that held a door leading... he knew not where. The rest of the clown posse passed his hiding space, and he was about to sneak out when he heard... voices. They sounded like they came from the other side of the door!"

"Meredith pressed himself in the small space behind the door, hoping to evade capture at all costs. Just before the door opened, though, he heard a voice call out, 'STOP! Someone is here; I can hear them breathing.'"

"Meredith held his breath as long as he could, until his lungs could no longer take it. He let out the air with a cough and the voice exclaimed triumphantly, 'See, I told you! Avast, varlet, who are you?'"

"Meredith had no idea what to answer. He certainly was not going to tell the truth! 'I am the wind blowing through your hair,' he finally said, feeling that the only thing to do now was quote song lyrics.' ("Like anyone sings in a horror movie," grumbled Rodney. Carson, who was sitting next to him, rolled his eyes. "Apparently you've never seen _Sweeny Todd_," he commented. Rodney snuffed. "Like anyone would want to see Mrs. Potts put people in pies. It gives a whole new dimension to Disney as a whole.")

"The voice answered back, 'If you are the wind, how come my hat's still on?'"

"Meredith frowned in confusion as the voice gave a yelp, as if someone had smacked him/her. 'Really, who are you?' asked the much more sensible voice of Queen Tala. 'You must not be a clown or you'd have already come after us.'"

"'Oh Tala, thank heaven! It's me, Meredith.'"

"Queen Tala and company burst through the door then, pushing Evano in front of them. The Gypsy prince tumbled over the threshold but regained his footing quickly, and sauntered across the floor as if he were still in charge of everyone. ("Do I saunter?" asked Lorne to Lieutenant Mickleman. Dusty, who was sitting on the other side of Lorne, burst into giggles.) The Silver Knight followed him; there was no way the Gypsy prince would escape until it was convenient for the members of Camelot."

"'Where are you?' asked Queen Tala. 'You sound as if you are right here.'"

"'I am; I've become invisible.'"

"'Not that again!' exclaimed Bones. 'The last time you made yourself invisible you almost destroyed the whole castle!'"

"'Which is precisely why I chose to do it again,' Meredith shot back. 'Tala, we've found Queen Beth.'"

"Queen Tala's face paled. 'Is she alright?' she asked."

"'No; Pennywise has turned her into a clown. To make things worse, the Dark Knight has been captured. Pennywise is planning to feed him to Queen Beth tomorrow; if we have any chance at all, we need to free him tonight.'"

"Queen Tala looked at the floor, her face sad. 'So, Queen Beth is lost to us then?'"

"'Not necessarily,' Bones spoke up. 'There have been instances where a person infected with clown serum can be restored by giving them a blood transfusion; namely, letting out the clown blood and putting in regular human blood again.'" (Carson beamed.)

"'Really, this is too much!' Evano laughed. 'Have been instances... do your people make it a point to go about getting infected by clowns?'"

"Bones snorted. 'You know the saying that some people have 'acting in their blood?' Well, this is like the same thing. Only instead of being mildly entertaining eye-candy the people become scary man-eating clowns. Queen Tala, I know I can do this; I just need to find some supplies.'"

"Queen Tala nodded. 'You and Meredith go looking for them, then. The Silver Knight, Evano, and I will keep heading to Queen Beth's chambers. Meet us as close as you can get without getting captured in the great hall once you have everything you need.'"

"And so, the two parties once again split."

"While Tala was organizing Plan B, the Dark Knight was taken to Queen Beth's room and was placed in a hanging cage. This stereotypical act of every super-villain was actually what ended up saving the day. If Pennywise had sent the Dark Knight to the dungeons, he'd have been alerted that there were other members of Camelot running around his castle orchestrating random jail-breaks. Instead, he just had a couple of patrols out looking for Meredith, and so the castle was still fairly traversable."

"'I'm hoping your presence will give my Queen an appetite,' sneered Pennywise as he locked the cage on the Dark Knight. 'After all, once a clown tastes blood, they are unable to ever travel back. And once my Queen becomes fully a clown, we will ride on Gondor and devour the whole place! No more winter kingdom, no more enemy, no more people! Just me ruling the world. Me, me, ME... and my little chickadee. I hope you appreciate the originality of this plot.'"

"The Dark Knight snorted. 'Original? This is definitely not original! A woman falls in love with a blood-sucker only to be turned into a blood-sucker later? Seriously? The least you could have done was added a werewolf.'"

"Pennywise looked confused. The Dark Knight looked over at Queen Beth. 'Which is it?' he called out. 'Team Pennywise or Team Dark Knight?' (The Lanteans positively roared. The Athosians laughed as well, though they had absolutely no idea what they were laughing at. "You don't want to know," Dusty had stated to an Athosian who asked her about it later.)

"'Well, it really doesn't matter,' sneered Pennywise. 'In a few short hours, your 'Queen' will no longer exist... at least in the terms that you know her to. I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't last out the night.'"

"Pennywise turned towards the door. 'See you soon,' he chuckled as he exited the Queen's room."

"The Dark Knight looked over at Queen Beth, who was standing with her back to him staring out of the small window. 'What is happening to me?' she asked in a voice barely above a whisper."

"'Beth, you've been taken captive by the clowns. They are turning you into a clown... you must fight this!'"

"'You said I'd be safe in the castle,' growled Queen Beth."

"The Dark Knight flinched. 'I didn't know they'd come through the pipes,' he stated."

"Queen Beth turned to look at him. Her eyes were slits in the dim light, and her face was the color of death. 'I didn't know they could do something like this!' she screamed. 'Everything I was... it's as if it were a dream. As if it never existed. It's fading away, and all I know now is this sense of insatiable hunger... I'm HUNGRY!'"

"She ran up to the cage then and grabbed the bars with both hands, her face mere inches from the Dark Knight's."

"The Dark Knight, to his credit, didn't flinch. He looked her in the eyes and said softly, 'We'll get you out of this. We've brought Bones; he'll find some way to cure you. You won't go through this alone.'"

"Queen Beth nodded slowly, then let go of the bars. 'What if you can't cure me,' she asked."

"'I'll make _sure _you can't hurt anyone.'"

(The finality of that chilling statement made everyone in the caves freeze. They hung on John's every word. Zelenka once again felt that familiar premonition; it was almost as though because John said those words; they were destined to happen.)

"After a long moment, Queen Beth nodded. 'I accept this,' she said quietly. 'And now, I'll fight my last battle against the clown inside me. Remember your promise; don't spare me.'"

"'I won't. My Queen, can you let me out of this cage?'"

"'No, Pennywise took the key with him when he left. I'm sorry...'" Then, Queen Beth let out a hair-raising shriek and slumped forward."

"'Queen Beth! Are you alright?' called the Dark Knight."

"'My last battle with the clown inside has begun,' said Queen Beth breathlessly. 'One way or another, this will be finished... by dusk tomorrow."

The Athosians clapped and cheered. John smiled and took his customary bow, and the room dissolved into talking.

"How's he going to wrap all this up?" complained Rodney. "It'll take forever tomorrow for him to finish... we're all over the place."

Teyla, who had been sitting with her teammates this evening, smiled. "Ninth night always has the longest of stories. Never fear, we'll have time for the end."

"Speaking of time, can I talk to you for a moment?" Ronon asked Teyla. Teyla looked up in surprise to see Ronon standing over her, reaching out an arm.

"Yes, we have time to talk I believe," Teyla stated, and she got up and followed Ronon out of the caves.

"What is going on with everyone?" Rodney asked. Katie Brown, who had sat on the other side of Rodney that evening, rolled her eyes and sighed. "Men," she stated (rather tragically), "are so dense sometimes."

oOo

Teyla and Ronon walked slowly back to the jumper. The crowd inside the cave was still making-merry; they had a good half hour or so before the party began to break up. Outside the caves it was cold and still, the Athosian night as black as pitch. Stars shown in the sky with extra brilliance; the moon was not out tonight. The wind whispered through the trees, but there was no eeriness to its sound; it sounded almost musical whispering through the leaves.

"It was a good story tonight," Teyla said.

"Yeah, a good story."

"John's a good storyteller."

"Yeah, he is a good storyteller."

Teyla frowned slightly; Ronon sounded odd. Almost as if... as if he were happy. "Ronon, what is wrong?" she queried.

"Nothing," Ronon answered.

Teyla tried again. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Fine. Better than fine." Ronon paused. "How are you?" he asked back.

"Fine..."

"Good," Ronon stated, "good."

Teyla possessed patience, but even that reached its limit from time to time. "Ronon, there has to be a reason you called me out here," she said firmly.

Ronon grinned and said, "wait." He then pulled Teyla off the road towards a tiny copse of trees. He shrugged off his backpack as Teyla stood there amused. "I wanted to give you this," Ronon stated, pulling out from his pack a small bundle.

Teyla curiously unwrapped the bundle; inside a knife gleamed in the starlight. Its shaft and blade were made out of a curious material that was dark and lustrous, and it reflected the light of the stars above. It's pommel was in the shape of a bird of some sort, its wings outstretched to make the quillion.

"My people are warriors; we aren't much good for much else. Among my people, it is a custom to give a knife to the one you care about, so they have an extra weapon if things get ugly. It's said that if you are with the one you are meant to be with, the knife will sing."

Teyla looked up at Ronon, her eyes shining. "Show me," she said.

Ronon took the knife and deftly cut a long blade of grass. Slowly, he drew the grass perpendicular along the edge of the knife. A single tone wavered from the action, clear as a bell. It almost sounded like a voice singing one note, but it had a deeper, richer sound.

Ronon grinned and held back the knife to Teyla. He said, "It sings when you fight too; the wind whipping past works about the same as grass. It's not used very much as a fighting weapon; only as a last resort."

Teyla smiled and took the knife from him. "I am honored to have something from your people, Ronon," she said happily.

Ronon looked at her a little unsure. "Are you honored to have me too?" he asked at last.

Teyla sheathed her knife with the cloth wrappings it came in and placed it safely away in her travel pack. She stood up straight in front of him, tilting her head so that she met his eyes. "I am honored beyond measure," she stated sincerely.

"Even if it would mean... eventually, if all goes well... being the wife of a Runner?"

Teyla furrowed her brows. "I see no runner," she said gently. "I see a man of two worlds; whose people will live on through him. I see a man with a family in Atlantis, a man with courage, bravery, and honor in spades. But most of all, I see Ronon; my companion, teammate, and friend."

Ronon smiled a rare full smile; one that consumed all of his face. He leaned into Teyla, and the two embraced. What seemed like mere moments went by, then Teyla pulled away. "I hear people coming," she said.

The Lantean party was coming back to the jumpers. Teyla and Ronon slid out of the shadows of the forest and joined them, beaming with happiness. On the whole, everyone was so absorbed in the conversations around them that no one noticed their looks of rapture. John, though, caught a glimpse of the pair just as he was closing the jumper's door. He grinned a knowing grin and glanced over at Rodney, who was sitting up front in order to keep John company.

"What?" Rodney asked, looking back at the crowded jumper. "I don't see anything. Except that... is Ronon smiling?"

"Yes, he is," stated John.

"Why?"

John shrugged. "If you don't know I can't tell you."

Rodney frowned. "It's creeping me out. In fact, what's going on with everyone around here? I feel like I'm in an alternate dimension or something. Everyone's happy all of a sudden."

John chocked back a laugh of his own. "It's just the Christmas spirit, Rodney," he said knowingly.


	10. The Ninth Night

**Author's Note: **Well, it is a miracle. The last two chapters are up! I'm sorry they came after so long; I injured my hand badly, and was unable to type (well, anyway) for about six months. A couple of surgeries later, it is as good as new! That teaches me to play basketball with high-schoolers. But at last the story is FINISHED! And in time for Christmas too.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the rights to any movie or TV show characters mentioned below, just the idea.

John stood in the breakfast line at the canteen, holding out two trays to the cook. He had become an expert at balancing plates like a high-class waiter while walking down halls; he figured if he was ever fired out of the Atlantis expedition at least he'd have some skills to fall back on. Breakfast with Elizabeth had come to be one of John's favorite parts of the day, and he only hoped she would continue the tradition with him once she was off of bed rest.

John then spotted Rodney lurking out of the corner of his eye; immediately he was suspicious. It seemed as if Rodney had been tailing him all morning. Every time John had turned around, Rodney was in his view. Rodney also was acting odd; he was quiet, for one, and he kept wringing his hands as if he were nervous about something. In all honesty, John really did not want to know what had gotten the scientist all keyed up, so he just ignored him. Still, Rodney was hard to ignore, even during the rare moments when he stopped talking.

The cook had just finished doling out breakfast when Rodney finally gained his courage. That in itself worried John; since when had Rodney ever become timid?

"John, I need to talk to you," stated Rodney matter-of-factly.

John rolled his eyes and shifted so both trays were balanced on his right arm. "Can it wait?" he asked shortly.

Rodney shrugged. "Yeah. I mean, it's no big deal," Rodney stated back.

Rodney being accommodating? Now there was definitely something wrong! John inclined his head towards the hall, and together they began to walk towards Elizabeth's room.

"What can I do for you, Rodney?" he asked as he led Rodney out of the canteen into the lounge.

"I just wanted to know what your intentions were regarding Elizabeth, if they are honorable," he stated solemnly. "You see, I've figured out you're seeing her."

John blinked in surprise and swallowed down a gulp of indignation. Why should Rodney even care; he should be minding his own business! "Of course they are honorable," John retorted, a slight growl in his voice, "what business of it is yours?"

"Well John, you see, we scientists are a different sort of people..."

"Tell me something I don't know," John muttered.

Rodney scowled. "Hey, I'm just looking out for a friend, okay? Actually, I'm looking out for two. You see, you military people are all 'go, go, go,' and to get you emotionally attached to anything is like trying to get two magnets of same polarities to stick together."

John rolled his eyes. "Where is this going, Rodney?" he asked impatiently.

Rodney gave a frustrated sigh. "Look," he said after a moment, "I know that you and the rest of the team think I am dense when it comes to people, but the truth is the two of you dating is like putting C-4 and Major Lorne in a room together. It can have the potential to be great, but also the potential to be a huge disaster. I mean, come on! You are the two top leaders in Atlantis, what if it doesn't work out? I really like Elizabeth as a boss; I don't want her to have to leave because something happened between you two. And you get all mopey and stuff when you finally get attached to something; the last thing I want to see is you sad all the time because she broke your heart. I guess I'm looking out for both of you."

Deep down inside (though John wouldn't admit it) he was grateful to Rodney for speaking up; not because he actually thought what Rodney said was true, but because he could see the depth of his friendship with his friend. A friend who was usually so far out when it came to relating to other people it was like he was on the other side of a different galaxy altogether.

Instead of saying any of this, though, John rolled his eyes. "Did your parents fight all the time or something?" John asked ruefully. "I mean, you have such protective instincts coming out right now; it _almost_ humanizes you!"

Rodney scowled back at John. "You treat her right, Kirk," he threatened, "Or you're going to regret the day you ever decided to do this. I'll challenge you to combat, and I'll win too! After all, I did hit Ronon the other day in sparring practice..."

John snorted at that, then gave Rodney a sideways look. "Rodney, how _did_ you know Elizabeth and I are dating? You'd _never_ notice by yourself."

Rodney gave an indignant glare, then broke down. "Katie told me."

"I figured."

oOo

Carson stood grimly in the doorway of his office. Today was the day, today was really the only day he had left to catch up on his paperwork. His mountains and mountains of paperwork. Inwardly, Carson wanted to cry. He'd been trying to get it done all week to no avail. Now, he had one day left... and though it was a doable process, he'd rather be anywhere else than stuck in his office. The smell of cookies baking wafted down from the canteen, people were outside shouting and sounding as if they were having good fun; even a caroling group had sprung out of a rivalry caroling contest between Lorne and Zelenka.

"It's just not fair," stated Carson to no one in particular. "Christmas Eve, and I will most likely be stuck here till Christmas morning. Then, Carson noticed something interesting. A green and red paper was hanging off the edge of his desk. He walked up to inspect it.

It was a handmade Christmas Card. Just a simple little thing really; the card was made from red card-stock and had green cut-out trees on it. Carson opened it, intrigued, and what he read made him gasp in wonder.

_ Dear Boss,_

_ Last night, your entire staff all got together and in one mass effort entered in all the updates to the medical records you were putting off into the computer. Therefore, all your paperwork is done and you are free! We love you boss; have a Merry Christmas!_

_ Your Staff _

_ P.S. And Zelenka too; he helped us when we crashed the infirmary's computer system._

Carson fought to blink back tears. All the paperwork he had been neglecting, all those odds and ends, were done. He was all caught up and free to celebrate Christmas! As he reread the card, a smile as bright as daylight shone on his face, and he whispered quietly, "I am the luckiest man in this galaxy. Nowhere out there does _any_ doctor have a finer staff than I."

oOo

John smiled as Elizabeth joined him in the jumper bay. Every Lantean, it seemed, was joining the expedition to the mainland for the last night of storytelling. Only emergency personnel were left on the base; everyone else was free to come. And come they did; there were so many people in the crowded jumper bay that they would have to shuttle over to the mainland in shifts. Because John needed to be there earlier, he was among the first to leave, and Elizabeth was coming along with him. Technically, she was not cleared for active duty yet, but Carson figured she'd go anyway and so he cleared her to go on the proviso that she sit next to him the entire evening. Though Elizabeth still looked a bit peaked, her color was good and her eyes were shining.

"This is going to be an exciting night," she stated when everyone going over early was seated and the jumper was in the air.

John grinned. "I hope you like the ending; I went a bit overboard, but Teyla tells me it is the only good way to end a story."

"Really?" Elizabeth grinned coyly. "How does it end?"

John glanced across the jumper controls at her and made a face. "Be patient; you'll just have to wait until tonight. You don't think I'll give away the ending now, do you?"

"No harm in trying," Elizabeth chuckled.

John smiled, then reached under the pilot controls and pulled out a small parcel. "I was going to wait to give this to you till tomorrow, but since we're going to be in a cave tonight, I thought you could use this."

Elizabeth took the parcel and unwrapped it carefully, the plain brown wrapping paper falling to the floor of the jumper. In her hands she held the most beautiful shawl she had ever seen; thick and warm, and colored with many shades of green. She wrapped it around her shoulders, and her eyes sparkled.

"Thank you John," she said happily. "How did you know green was my favorite color?"

"Lucky guess," he replied wryly. "Merry Christmas Lizabeth!"

"Merry Christmas John."

oOo

Teyla and Ronon were among those who headed over early. They watched in amusement as everyone practically ran towards the cave; John was to finish his storytelling tonight, and everyone was cheerful and excited. The celebration of Nine Nights usually ended with an extra long story time, followed by a joyful parade to back to the village. This evening, the joyful procession would lead to Atlantis, where the Lanteans had offered to put up the Athosians for a couple of nights so they could join in on Christmas. It was going to be a crazy couple of days, but Teyla and Ronon were looking forward to it.

"Never had our people had such a wonderful Nine Nights," Teyla commented as she and Ronon watched people stream toward the caves. "At least, not that I can remember."

"What is this night dedicated for?" Ronon asked.

"Hope," said Teyla happily. "This night, we remember as a people our strength to live on, with the hope that one day we will live free from the Wraith."

Ronon nodded in agreement, and he and Teyla headed up the hill to the caves together. Hope. What a wonderful word to build a future over.

oOo

Elizabeth sat on the shelf-seating near the stage with Carson on one side and Rodney on the other. Both of them had been driving her crazy; they had practically carried her up the hill instead of let her walk, and now were trying to fend off friendly Athosians who kept asking why she had stayed away from the celebrations so long. It was endearing, but annoying all the same, and so in a desperate bid to bring some peace to the situation, she asked Carson to give her a hint of the night's story (John had told her that Carson had helped him with it).

"What?! Me tell you what's going to happen? Never!" Carson stated boldly.

Rodney rolled his eyes at this. "Yeah, Elizabeth, you don't want to know," he stated loudly. "Sheppard's been brutal to you in the story; tonight we're going to be treated to one of the most trite rescue plot-line of all time. A blood transfusion. Where is Sheppard going to get human blood from?"

At this question, several Athosians and some Lanteans were glancing over in complete confusion.

"You may want to be quiet Rodney," Elizabeth said with a sly grin. "People are staring at us."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Sorry," he muttered. "It's just, no one ever thinks about blood types when they do these things. It drives me nuts when the main characters swap blood. I mean, come on, that could kill you."

"It _is_ fiction Rodney," Elizabeth said with a grin.

"I know, but it's still annoying. What blood type are you?" Rodney asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

Elizabeth grinned wickedly. "I'm A-Positive person."

Rodney looked confused for a moment while Carson chortled. Then, he got it. "Are you sure you're not starting to turn into a Wraith in real life. A pun? Really?" Rodney chided.

"What blood-type is John?" Elizabeth asked Carson, still chuckling.

Carson, deadpan, replied, "he B-Negative."

Both Elizabeth and Carson dissolved into convulsions as they fought the giggles rising up in them, while Rodney lifted his eyes to the ceiling as if to plead to the heavens. Fortunately, it was at this point that the lights were dimmed, which saved them from what was bound to be an irritating lecture on the merits of Rodney-approved literature.

John took the stage one last time, looking wilder than ever before in his mirrored robes and the flickering torchlight. The packed cave grew silent; there was so much anticipation you could probably have cut the air with a knife. John let his eyes travel across the sea of faces, until he found Elizabeth's. He stared her directly in the eyes and watched as she smiled and gave him an almost imperceptible nod. He grinned and took a deep breath.

"When we last left off, Meredith and Bones had headed out to search for supplies in order to carry out a blood transfusion for Queen Beth. Meanwhile, Queen Tala, the Silver Knight, and Evano the Gypsy prince were headed toward Queen Beth's chambers, in the hope that they would be able to liberate her and the Dark Knight. As all this was occurring, the Dark Knight was having the darkest night of his life, watching as the woman he loved fought against the disease that was turning her from human to monster. And now, it's time for the ending to our story."

"Meredith and Bones went running down the hall, Bones running first so that he wouldn't accidentally bump into Meredith while under the influence of the invisibility spell. The invisibility spell was quite a dangerous spell; to cast it was easy but to break it would lash out so much power that it could easily knock down a castle wall; maybe even an entire wing. While it had a body to center around, though, the energy looped around itself, bending even the light around the body so that the subject could not be seen. Bumping into said subject would give you at best a shock. At worst, it could electrocute you. Fortunately, Meredith was wearing some of those stupid rubber Ronald McDonald shoes at the time, so he couldn't shock anyone by just standing near them."

"'Of all the stupid things you could think of to do,' muttered Bones. 'The invisibility spell? Couldn't you do something helpful to do, like transporting us to a lab or something?'"

"'Humph,' Meredith grunted from behind, 'it was all I could think of doing at the time. Besides, you'll be really glad of this when it comes time for us to escape!'"

"'If we live long enough,' Bones replied morosely. Suddenly, he turned a corner and stopped stock still. Meredith, screeching to a halt inches behind him, spat out a 'What?!' in frustration. Then, as he glanced around the corner's edge, he saw what Bones had stopped for.'"

"'That's a _lot_ of clowns,' he whispered as he stared down the hall; the corner they had turned was really a doorway of sorts leading into some great hall that was filled, almost literally, from floor to ceiling with clowns. Tall ones, thin ones, fat ones, short ones, happy ones, sad ones; they all were there, preparing their weapons of seltzer bottles and baseball bats. On the wall high up hung a picture of an army of clowns descending on Gondor, Pennywise and what used to be (they guessed) Queen Beth in the lead."

"'Well, I guess we can tell what they plan to do,' Bones whispered wryly."

"'Yeah, no kidding Sherlock,' muttered Meredith. 'Come on, let's get out of here.'"

"'Wait,' Bones whispered. 'Look on the wall.'"

"Meredith looked over, and saw where Bones was pointing. All along the wall were tubes and needles of all sizes, used for repairing squirting flowers and injecting colored paint. Clowns of all kinds were walking up, taking whatever they needed off the wall, and walking back to their own troupes."

"Bones grinned. 'See you in a moment, Meredith,' he chuckled as he strode confidently into the thicket of clowns. (You must remember Bones was still disguised in his clown outfit.)"

"Meredith watched incredulously as his friend boldly walked up to the wall, grabbed off some fine tubing and some needles, and turned to head back out. No one gave him a second glance. Bones grinned as he walked nonchalantly back to Meredith. Meredith was about to breathe a huge sigh of relief when the worst thing happened."

"'You there!' shouted one of the clowns near the door, presumably a ranking officer of sorts. 'Hey, you, stop! I don't recognize your troupe!' The clown began to walk threateningly toward Bones."

"Bones was almost out the door; he continued walking as if the clown hadn't spoken at all, then once he was out in the hall he leaped around the corner Meredith had been peeking around. Meredith jumped out of the way to avoid shocking him, but ended up running straight into the pursuing clown in the process. A shower of sparks shot out from him, and in two seconds the charred remains of greasepaint lay smoldering on the stone floor. Meredith leaped away from the mess, only to stop again in his tracks. Every clown face was turned to the door; they had watched in shock as one of their leaders seemed to spontaneously combust right in front of them. For a moment no one moved. Then, every clown came running to the door."

"'RUN!' shouted Meredith, and together the two ran back the way they had come, with a whole hall of evil clowns running behind them."

"While they were otherwise occupied, Queen Tala, the Silver Knight, and Evano had been heading up through a dark, dank, twisted, disturbing labyrinth of corridors too terrifying to contemplate, looking for the tower of doom that held their beloved Queen Beth and Dark Knight. ("Going a little overboard on the negative adjectives, isn't he?" Rodney muttered to Elizabeth. She grinned and said, "I think it makes the story more intense." Rodney rolled his eyes. "Yes, I forgot you _haven't _had to hear this stuff night after night," he muttered.) Evano had promised to get them to Queen Beth's chambers, but at every turn and twist the Silver Knight grew more suspicious; this seemed to be getting them nowhere. Finally, as he was just about to draw his sword and threaten the Gypsy prince again, the man stopped, pointed with his finger like he was a dog pointing out a scent, and said with a mysterious bow, 'There, ahead, is your Queen."

"'Go ahead and look,' Queen Tala said to the Silver Knight. Then, she drew her own sword and pointed it right at Evano's neck. 'No double crosses. If this is a trap, or if this is the wrong tower, you are going to be a headless Gypsy prince.'"

"Evano grinned and held his arms up high, as if to say, 'after you!' The Silver Knight nodded, then drew his sword and began to ascend the stairs. When he got to the top, he noticed a small wooden door that was unbolted. Quietly, on guard, he slid the door open with his foot and eased in across the threshold. He found himself in a rather spacious room, finely furnished, with blood-red stained glass windows. At first, he thought the room was empty; it was difficult to see in the dull red light. But then, he noticed a cage hanging suspended from the ceiling, and he heard a muffled sob come from the corner of the room. He could see no person in the dark corner, though, so he walked over slowly to the cage. As he came nearer, he noticed that there was a body along the bottom of the cage, and he felt his stomach knot as he realized that this could be none other than his friend, the Dark Knight."

(Here John paused for dramatic emphasis. Everyone was hanging on every word; there was not the usual laughing and teasing going on. However, Elizabeth thought that John had better not have made her kill him; what kind of an end would that be?!)

"The Silver Knight was just about to reach out and shake the body in the cage when the body sat bolt upright on its own accord.'"

"'YEAW!' yelped the Silver Knight in surprise, and he watched as the man in the cage, none other than Dark Knight, turned towards him and said, 'Shush!'"

"'Sorry,' the Silver Knight quietly growled, 'but you kind of took me by surprise.'"

"'Sorry about that,' the Dark Knight replied. 'I was trying to hide myself as much as possible; Queen Beth is fighting the final battle with the clown inside herself, and it helps if she cannot see me too well.'"

"'Where is she?' asked the Silver Knight warily."

"'In the corner over there; you can't see her, it is too dark. But she hasn't tried to attack me or anything; she is fighting for all she is worth.'"

"'I see,' the Silver Knight replied. 'Well then, should I let you out, or do you want to stay in the cage?'"

"The Dark Knight shot him a puzzled look. 'Um, yes, let me out! Of course I want out of this cage!'"

"The Silver Knight grinned good-humoredly, and sheathing his sword he drew another knife from his endless supply and began to pick the lock of the cage. 'Just thought I would check,' he stated teasingly. 'You just looked so comfortable in there.'"

"A few moments later, there was a loud 'click,' and the lock fell open. The Silver Knight yanked open the door of the cage, and the Dark Knight leapt nimbly out. 'Where are the others?' he asked as the Silver Knight edged back towards the door."

"'Meredith and Bones went to go get some supplies; Queen Tala and Evano are back down the stairs; let me get them.'"

"'Who's Evano?'"

"'Long story,' the Silver Knight stated. 'Be right back.'"

"Quickly, he headed down the stairs, only to stop again in surprise. Queen Tala was lying on the floor, looking pale and tragic. ("Pale and tragic?" whispered Ronon in confusion. "It's from the movie _Clue_," Teyla whispered back.) Evano was nowhere to be seen."

"About this time, Bones and Meredith had found themselves beginning the twisted labyrinth that lead up to Queen Beth's chamber. Now, they really had no idea where they were running to; they just ran flat out up any staircase they could find, trying to evade the army of evil clowns. However, once they got in the labyrinth, it was all over. After taking two false turns, they found themselves pinned in a dead end, clowns on every side."

"'Well, that's it. We're done for,' Meredith stated flatly, staring at the army of hundreds licking their pointy chops."

"'Not so!' Bones exclaimed. 'Cast off your invisibility; it'll be too much for them.'"

"'It'll be too much for us too, you moron! If I throw this energy off it'll bring down this entire stone maze, and we'll be buried beneath the rubble.'"

"'Better that than to be eaten by clowns,' Bones observed. 'What have we really got to loose?'"

"Meredith scowled. 'You're right,' he muttered, as he turned to face the clowns head-on. 'Bones, DUCK AND COVER!'"

"Bones slammed himself down onto the floor behind a stone sidewall while Meredith, using everything he had in him, cast off the clinging electricity of the invisibility spell. A bolt of pure white energy shot through the room, taking out dozens upon dozens of clowns in that instant alone whilst simultaneously bringing down the house so to speak. In moments, the entire Labyrinth was in rubble, and Meredith was sinking to his knees in exhaustion. The rest of the clown army that happened to survive took one look at the devastation and ran for their miserable lives."

"Bones had managed to escape both the energy pulse and the destruction that had followed; by either chance or design the only wall left standing was the one he had been hiding behind. He leaped out and looked over the rubble, searching for anything that could be a clue to the whereabouts of his team. Suddenly, he heard someone shout his name. 'Bones!' He looked over towards the sound, and saw to his amazement one corner tower left standing, with only the staircase and floor below exposed to the watery dawn daylight. A figure stood at the bottom of the stairs, waving to him."

"'Silver Knight!' shouted Bones. 'Are you all right?'"

"'No, get over here quick!' he shouted out, panicked. 'Queen Tala's been injured; poisoned or something. And we found Queen Beth!'"

"Bones nodded, snatched his supplies, and jumped over to where Meredith was lying. 'Meredith!' he shouted out, slapping his face. 'Wake up; it's no time to be fainting!'"

"'Passing out, thank you,' grumbled Meredith."

"'Passing out then. Quick; the Queens need us!'"

"Meredith groaned and staggered to his feet, muttering something about damsels in distress. Bones didn't really hear him though; he had bounded away and was leaping over the rubble with the grace and dexterity of a demented gazelle."

(Rodney snickered at the bizarre description of Carson leaping about on the rubble, and even Carson wondered where Sheppard was getting this metaphor.)

"A few minutes later, both men had clambered over the rubble and were standing next to the Silver Knight. After a quick examination, Bones determined that Queen Tala was just sleeping; she had been knocked out with what appeared to be a powder-form sleeping solution."

"'What should we do about it?' Meredith asked."

"'Throw a bucket of water on her; that solves anything. At any rate, it should wash away the rest of the powder!'"

(Rodney grimaced; John was not going to let him forget about his water-on-the-generator incident any time soon.)

"With that, Bones ran up the staircase, only to find Queen Beth in the corner, looking miserable as he had ever seen a human being look, and the Dark Knight watching in sorrow."

"'Poor lass; she's almost gone,' Bones stated solemnly. 'I'm not sure this is going to work now...'"

"'What's going to work?' asked the Dark Knight. 'Bones, if you have a plan, then let's hear it! Is there anything, anything I can do to give her a fighting chance?!'"

"'Bones took a deep breath, nodded, and said quietly, 'I do have something in mind. We're going to need you to sit down, and we're going to need the Silver Knight... let me explain to you what I have in mind."

"Ten minutes later, it was a strange sight to behold in Queen Beth's former quarters. Queen Beth had been tied up; both the Dark Knight and the Silver Knight had to grab her while Meredith and a groggy but completely fine Queen Tala wrapped her around and around with ropes that had been intended for use on the Dark Knight. Queen Beth savagely kicked and screamed the whole time, but in the end everyone managed to accomplish the feat without being bitten. ("What is this, a Zombie flick now?" muttered Dusty to Lieutenant Mickleman.) The Dark Knight had then climbed back _into_ the cage; they needed the power of gravity if this was even going to work. Bones had then connected two needles with one long tube. He inserted one needle into the Dark Knight's arm, then strung the tube down to Queen Beth, who was lying on what passed for a clown bed. He pushed that needle into her arm, then put yet another tube and needle into her other arm and dangled that off the edge of the bed. The result was quite ghastly; blackish-brownish clown blood began to leak out of one arm, while fresh red human blood began to pump into another."

"'It should give her a fighting chance,' Bones replied solemnly. 'All there is to do now is to wait.'"

"_WAIT_?' a voice hissed from the stairs. 'What have you done?! Oh, my beautiful Queen!' And with that, Pennywise entered the room."

"Queen Tala, Meredith, and the Silver Knight stepped in front of their companions in a protective line, weapons drawn and arms raised. Behind Pennywise was a pitiful band of rag-tag clowns; possibly the only ones he had left to his name. 'You evil, evil people!' he shouted, sounding for all the world like a crazy villain being played by an actor used to acting in bird-cage theater, 'You... spectators! Circus animals! Carnies! How dare you come into my castle, tear it down, and steal _my_ Queen?!'"

"'I could ask you the same thing!' shouted the Dark Knight from his cage. 'In fact, I will. I say, how dare you come into our castle, tear through our plumbing, and steal our Queen?! We're just getting back what is ours, and you are getting your just desserts!'"

"Pennywise looked over at Queen Beth and shrieked. 'What have you done with her?' he howled in dismay. 'All that beautiful clown blood; all her wonderful clownieness; gone gone Gone! You will pay!' And with that, he leaped in a rage towards them."

"Now, I know Queen Beth and the Dark Knight had three great warriors protecting them, but you have to remember that these three were exhausted; Queen Tala was still shaking off the effects of Evano's trick, Meredith was still woozy from knocking over half the castle, and the Silver Knight had been running for such a long time on little to no sleep. When Pennywise jumped into the air; it was almost surreal. The three didn't know what to make of it; they just felt a cold dread in their hearts as they lifted their swords to engage him in battle. But the battle never came; as the clown was descending, claws out, an arrow shot right through where his heart ought to be. Pennywise stopped mid-air, as if he were a kite on a string yanked back, then fell to the ground. The group stared as Evano bow in hand, shouted at them from the doorway 'GET DOWN!'"

"For the second time that day, everyone ducked, and Evano pushed down on a lever attached to his bow. There was a brief spark, then... nothing. Pennywise stood, leering at Evano in distain. 'You're going to have to do better than that, Gypsy boy,' he sneered in derision. 'See, you shot me in the heart, and since I don't have a heart, it doesn't really effect me.' Suddenly the arrow made a beeping noise, and Pennywise's eyes got big. Then, the arrow exploded. Pennywise blew up like a balloon; bits of him went everywhere, yet there was no blood at all, just what looked like colored remains of rubber."

"'Maybe he was never alive after all,' whispered Evano as the entire ruling class of Camelot looked at him with wide eyes. 'Maybe we just made him up in our minds?'"

"That left-field statement snapped everyone out of their confused reviere. Meredith sneered at Evano. 'Remember,' Meredith said, 'that clown killed your entire people. That's not something made up.'"

"Evano grinned a mischievous grin. 'Um, I kind of lied about that; you see, Pennywise didn't kill _everyone_.' At that, he snapped his fingers, and the ragged clowns that were left and had been cowering in the doorway stepped forward. As one, they reached up to their heads and pulled off... clown masks."

"'As you can see, some of my people managed to survive the onslaught of destruction. We reduced ourselves to the station of Junior Clowns, if only to preserve our race.'"

"As Evano stood there beaming, the Silver Knight suddenly shouted out angrily, 'Wait just a moment! You used us! You put us into extra danger by escaping, and you wanted us to keep Pennywise busy while you rounded up all your cronies, thus taking over the castle in the process.'"

"Evano shrugged, the sly smile still on his face. 'Guilty on all counts. You wanted your queen back, I wanted my kingdom back, I figured it was a fair trade. Besides, look at how much more we were able to accomplish together!'"

"'More like how much we were able to destroy together,' Meredith remarked sarcastically."

("Sounds like you," Elizabeth pointed out to Rodney. Rodney rolled his eyes, but on the inside he was pleased that John thought he could still maintain his humor in such a situation.)

"'Even so!' Evano laughed out. 'But I won't hold you responsible for the destruction; no, you are my honored guests! As soon as you are fit to travel, I will arrange travel for you to head back to your own country. But please; rest up, and my people and I will oust out any more clown troupes we see. And Bones, you may want to take the tube out of the Dark Knight's arm now; he's looking rather pale. So long... for now!'"

"'With that, Evano and his people bounded away, leaving the Gondorians completely puzzled. 'Who even was that man?' slurred the Dark Knight as Bones took out the needle and bandaged his arm tightly."

"'It's a long story,' Queen Tala began. 'You see, when we split up we came across this Gypsy prince..."

"It was a long couple of days for the intrepid band of friends. They were reunited with each other, but were exhausted to the core. Queen Beth managed to fight off the clown inside; the human blood gave her a fighting chance, and she pulled herself through (although by sheer will-power alone). (Elizabeth shivered at the memory of her time with the Nanites, but was strangely pleased to hear the pride in John's tone. "He respects me for that," she thought happily.) During her recovery, she and the Dark Knight made up for fighting, and the Dark Knight renewed his vows to protect her always. In a few days she was looking normal, at least; her hair had come back it's natural dark brown and her face was no longer the dead pale face of the Clown."

"They stayed with Evano, though not for long. Even though he pledged to be their ally and Queen Beth had promised their countries would have friendly relations, they did not want to visit; the castle held too many terrifying memories for everyone. And also Evano; no one really trusted him. How can you really know the motives of a man who carries C4 in his pockets? (Lorne beamed at the friendly jab his way.) So, it was with a happy spirit that the six triumphant members of the court of Camelot rode back to their country on the third day of their stay. They were driven to the border of Volkswagen in none other than a VMW Beetle; the Dark Knight had to swallow his fear of those tiny death traps for the sake of a quick ride home. The gypsy court ran with them to the border of the city, waving tattered colored streamers, and all throughout the land different performers were coming out of the gray ugly hills."

"'Perhaps it will not be so bad after all,' Queen Tala commented as they reached the border of Gondor. 'After all, we have an ally now.'"

"'Once a clown, always a clown,' growled the Silver Knight, and the Dark Knight was tempted to agree. However, for the sake of keeping peace with their Queens, the knights said no more on the subject. When they reached the border of the city of Camelot, they left the Beetles and watched as they drove back to their own country. Then, the six faced their land, the winter kingdom. All of them felt such joy to be back, Queen Beth most of all."

"They began walking down the main road of the city, and everyone who glanced out their window and saw them walking by ran out to join the parade. Soon, there was a parade the likes the people of Camelot had never seen, and presumably never would see again. The people ended the parade at the gates to the castle of Camelot, which were promptly thrust open to welcome all who would come in. All the people were overjoyed, and there was great partying and feasting. The Queens gave honors to Meredith the Lore-Master, Bones the Court Physician, the Dark Knight, and the Silver Knight. But the most precious gift that came out of the whole experience by far was not something you could eat or not an honor you could tag onto your name. The most precious gift they discovered was hope; hope that things could be different. Hope that, in the face of insurmountable odds, their people could band together and still come out victorious. Hope for the will to survive, hope for all the people to carry on well when one person was taken. And it was with this hope that the court of Camelot banded together, and this hope they used for the building of their future."

"The End."

As John finished, there was dead silence for a moment or two, as everyone imagined the final scenes of their ninth-night story. Then, with a deafening roar of applause, the Athosians leaped up onto the platform, grabbed John, and hoisted him onto their shoulders.

"A parade we'll have; all the way to Atlantis!" one of them shouted, and the next thing the Lanteans knew they were swept up in a giant parade toward the direction of the jumpers. Not one person missed out on the merriment, and in minutes the entire cave was empty as everyone headed over to Atlantis to celebrate Christmas Day. Left alone at last, the echoes of the cheering crowds died away within the cave, and there it sat, ready and empty, to be used again any time the Athosians had need of it.


	11. Epilogue

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all your patience; it is finally complete! Hope it makes someone smile today, at any rate. Take care!

**Disclaimer:** Stated in former chapters.

John smiled as he looked out over the sea of faces. Everyone on the mainland had been invited to Atlantis to join in on Christmas dinner. As a result, nearly every person on the planet was now crammed into the Gateroom, the canteen, the lounge, and any other free open space. All around him was laughter and merriment; hopeful faces were shining in the light. Kids ran about, grabbing bits of food here and there and generally causing a happy commotion.

All the Lanteans were happy as well; even some of the hardcore marines were joining in the games of the Athosian children. In one corner of the Gateroom, a makeshift dance floor had been set up, and in the corner a sprig of what passed in the Pegasus galaxy for mistletoe. Major Lorne was desperately trying to dance Kate into the corner, and Kate kept leading him away, laughing. Rodney, Carson, and Zelenka were over by the food tables, and for once it looked as if they were actually all enjoying each others company. They were all smiling at any rate, which was even more unusual. Teyla and Ronon were seated in the middle of the Athosians, and were laughing and talking. It was good to see Ronon smiling, and Teyla was leaning almost imperceptibly on his arm. In another corner, Katie Brown was giving the new intern Dr. Keller a plant for her room. A ton of people were also in the same corner, doing something that looked like quilting. "What on earth is going on there?" John thought as they held up fabric squares to the light to check their stitching. He watched them for a moment but couldn't figure it out, so he continued his surveillance of the room. He was, of course, looking for one face in particular, but he couldn't seem to find her anywhere.

Not that he'd really seen Elizabeth all day. They had their customary breakfast together, but then with the big Christmas dinner going on, with one thing or another, they hadn't had a chance to really sit down and enjoy Christmas. It had been more like chaos, and with all the people coming up to John during the dinner, wishing him Merry Christmas, and giving him watches (Corporal Daniels had gotten her revenge; she told everyone on the base that John would like a watch for Christmas, and so John was suddenly swamped with more watches than he'd ever be able to trade off to people), he had no time to search for Elizabeth.

However, as the party began winding down and groups of people began to spread out bedding on the Gateroom floor, John began to search in earnest for Elizabeth. She had to be here somewhere... then it occurred to John to check her favorite spot; the balcony next to her office which faced the sea and the setting sun.

She was there all right. Of course, it was long past sunset; it was actually into the "wee hours of the morning" as Carson would put it. She stood there, looking like a vision, illuminated in moonlight with her shawl wrapped around her shoulders.

"Couldn't take the party anymore?" John asked by way of a greeting.

Elizabeth smiled and glanced over at him. "Just wanted to get a breath of fresh air; tomorrow everything on base goes back to normal, and I wanted one more moment of peace before we resume this war we're in."

John nodded; he wished there was something he could say to her. He knew how Elizabeth worried; he knew now that every time he left on a mission, she would be fighting the thoughts of everything bad that could happen to him. And he would worry more now as well; perhaps this love of theirs was not the brightest thing they'd ever allowed to happen. And yet, John had no idea how he would live without her.

All these thoughts ran through his head, until there was nothing he could think of to say. Then, Elizabeth grinned, held out a small parcel, and said, "I have a Christmas present for you as well."

John looked at Elizabeth in surprise; he had not expected a gift so late. He took the parcel she handed out to him; it was heavy and it felt like a book.

"Go ahead and open it," Elizabeth urged, her eyes shining.

John untied the strings holding the cloth wrapping on, and as the wrapping fell away he saw that he was holding a leather book. It looked like an old fashioned diary; like something you'd see out of an Indiana Jones movie. The leather was tooled with a scalloped edge, and instead of a clasp had strings to close it with. On the cover was written, in gold ink, _Nine Nights_. John blinked and opened the book. There was a title page bearing the same title, then a dedication page written from Elizabeth to John. The book was handwritten; the delicate script looking decorative yet still easy to read. Then, John's eyes went wide as he opened up to chapter one, titled "The First Night."

"It's your story; I had Rodney record the whole thing on video and I transcribed everything you said into the book," Elizabeth stated. "I... thought you might like a memento."

John stared at her, speechless. "You did this? When?!"

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Well, I had a lot of bed rest John. One can write in a journal and never get out of bed, you know."

John looked at her in amazement. "It's beautiful," he stated after a long moment. "Elizabeth, thank you. I've... never had anyone make me anything before."

Elizabeth chuckled. "Actually, I bought the diary itself some time ago. All I did was write in a book. But one thing I've always been good at is penmanship, so I figured it would be something you would enjoy."

John grinned. "I will enjoy it; I'm a published author now!"

Elizabeth smiled back at him. "You really should write more; it's much better reading than _War and Peace_.

John laughed at that, then stepped forward and wrapped Elizabeth in his arms. The two shared a kiss, then stood arm and arm on the balcony watching the moon set over the Lantean sea.


End file.
